How to overcome insecurity: 5 psychological tips

Many people suffer from insecurity problems. Feeling that you are not up to the task, that everyone is capable of progress but you do not have enough skill yourself, etc. Coping with this type of self-sabotage is not easy, but achieving it usually does a lot of good, since it facilitates the resolution of various problems derived from it.

In this article we will review some basic tips to know how to overcome insecurity through changes that must be introduced in day-to-day habits.

• Related article: "Low selfsteem? When you become your worst enemy

How insecurities arise

Like practically everything in psychology, insecurity has multiple causes, although there are several that are very common. Fundamentally, it is about a distorted view of one's abilities, from an extremely pessimistic point of view, which generates an effect of self-fulfilling prophecy.

That is to say, the fact of having very low expectations about what one is capable of doing, means that there are not even exciting initiatives that are a challenge. Over time, this perception that one remains in a stagnant state causes insecurities to reinforce and self-esteem to remain low.

The idea that much of this monotony and absence of vital milestones achieved is due to the fact that you yourself stays in the comfort zone it does not take on a sufficient role for the perception of our own defects to determine the way in which we think about ourselves.

On the other hand, one of the areas of life in which insecurities are most noticeable is personal relationships. Something as simple as adopting a non-verbal language that denotes insecurity has the effect that others treat us in a way consequently, so that in each conversation and social interaction the message is captured that indeed, there are reasons to feel unsafe. It is a vicious circle that over time comes to generate a dogma, a belief that is not even questioned: we are worth less than others.

How to overcome insecurity on a day-to-day basis

Below you will find several ideas from which you can start to strengthen your self-esteem progressively. Keep in mind that the simple act of reading will not solve a problem of insecurities, but this is achieved by introducing different habits on a day-to-day basis, which we will talk about in the following lines.

However, it is important to keep in mind that the goal is not to eliminate insecurities, but to overcome them; namely, prevent them from significantly interfering with one's well-being, or that they are obstacles to developing all the personal potential with which one has.

1. Write down your strengths and insecurities

Even the most insecure people are able to recognize certain things that, in comparison to the rest of their repertoire of abilities, they are good at. Therefore, a good starting point is to write down a list of weaknesses and another of personal strengths. It is important that these are valued not by comparing ourselves with the rest, but by comparing with each other those physical and psychological characteristics that belong to oneself.

This step will allow two things. On the one hand, it is a starting point that helps focus more on how good you have, and on the other hand, if it is done with a certain periodicity, it helps to have information about how the insecurities themselves evolve.

2. Check the tendencies to paranoia

Many people base their insecurity on almost paranoid thoughts, constantly pondering about the supposed intentions to hurt us or to make fun of us that others hide behind an appearance of normal. So it is good to spend about five minutes, at the end of the day, looking back and assess whether you have fallen into these types of thoughts unjustifiably.

3. Ask others for space

Changes must not only occur in oneself, but the social environment must also evolve. Ultimately, when you are insecure, the rest may be more likely to make hurtful judgments out loud, even without having a direct intention to cause harm, simply because they see that this kind of criticism fits with what the other person thinks about him herself. Where others silence certain opinions so as not to spend the day criticizing the person with whom they speak, this regulation of what is said decreases in the face of those who have low self-esteem.

So, it is good to express directly that certain comments are over, since they are inappropriate. The good thing about these situations is that the other person, in most cases, will stop trying maintain a dominant position in the conversation if it is someone who has affection for us, and you will immediately see his mistake. On the other hand, this is an exercise in assertiveness which helps to reinforce self-esteem by the simple fact of seeing that this kind of complaints are accepted by the other, denoting that many of the criticisms received on a daily basis are unfounded.

• You may be interested: "Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication"

4. Don't compare yourself to strangers

With the rise of social media, it is extraordinarily easy to give a picture of what you are not. One in which only the positive stands out, and the negative is ignored. This is something that facilitates the appearance of insecurities, because in certain digital platforms idealization is the norm.

Therefore, whenever a thought based on your own inferiority to others assails you It is mainly known through Facebook, Instagram or similar, remember that it is a mirage. There is no reason to think that this person is perfect or even almost perfect, and there are many reasons to think that the image that one has of that "other" is very distorted.

5. Play sports and eat well

The good thing about this pattern is that it is based on the repetition of relatively simple behavior patterns. Seeing how you progress physically over a few months is very motivating, and helps improve self-esteem.