Do you self-fulfill or do you enslave yourself?
Have you ever wondered what happiness is? Your answer is likely to match something material, like having money. But it may also be the case that your answer is related to the satisfaction of some objective that you have set, such as finishing a degree; or to achieve your highest desire, like living in Miami. How nice it would be to get it, right?
But have you ever stopped to think if you really need to get it to be happy? What is the price you are paying for it?
- Related article: "Humanistic Psychology: history, theory and basic principles"
Speaking of Needs
From Maslow's Theory of Human Motivation (1943), an author belonging to the humanist current of psychology, human beings have a series of universal needs. Satisfying all of them would lead us to a state of complete personal well-being and, with it, achieve happiness. To satisfy these needs, impulses and motivations arise. In this way, Maslow proposes a pyramid of needs.
- Physiological: base of the pyramid. Biological needs that ensure survival, such as eating or sleeping.
- Need: more related to the feeling of confidence and tranquility.
- Membership: social needs related to the family, social environment, etc.
- Recognition: achieve prestige, recognition, etc.
- Self-realization: top of the pyramid. Related to spiritual or moral development, search for a mission in life, desire to grow, etc.
Happiness in today's world
These needs drive our motivation. Thus, according to this author, happiness would be achieved through the satisfaction of all of them. And, although there are some controversies, it seems that Maslow's Pyramid is quite widespread among the population. The problem comes when we commonly mistake the concept of self-realization with the maximum reach our goals and focus solely on that, leaving aside other needs or motivations.
The current moment we are going through is characterized by the collective idea that "every effort has its reward." In this way, the idea of constant effort together with the somewhat competitive world in which we live, can awaken another similar one: “if we want to go far, we must be the best”. And this is how, one way or another, we began to plunge into a spiral of striving for achievement that is never completely satisfied.
A very characteristic example are those parents who instill in their children that 9 is better than 8 and that, despite having obtained an 8, they must strive to improve until they achieve a higher grade. And after the 9th, the 10th arrives. It is as if we always have to reach the top.
In this way, we establish internal rules from a young age through which we categorize our achievements: important and less important. This labeling and the pursuit of objectives could be adaptive, because it gives meaning to our lives.
But are we really "self-realizing"? The moment we stop doing the things we like permanently to dedicate ourselves completely to this academic or work effort, self-slavery arises, so to speak way. That is, we have gone from fighting for our interests and our goals in a healthy way, to becoming their slaves. We are gradually losing everything that also gave us gratification, such as going to the movies, being with friends or walking in a park.
- You may be interested: "Maslow's pyramid: the hierarchy of human needs"
How can we avoid it?
Some recommendations are as follows.
1. Do not stop doing what we have always liked to do
While it is true that we may like our work so much that it almost becomes our hobby, we must try to have another type of alternative leisure that allow us to relax and disconnect, such as reading novels, watching movies, going for a run, etc.
2. Set realistic and sequential goals
It is the key not to get frustrated.
3. Take breaks
Not only to perform other tasks but simply to be with ourselves. Meditation can be a good way to rest, and it can also have many other positive effects.
4. Plan and organize time
It is important to keep in mind that, if we plan well, we can find time to do what we want at that moment.
5. Accept us
Each of us has unique limitations and characteristics. Accept them and take advantage of your qualities.
Bibliographic references:
- Maslow, A. H. (1943). A Theory of Human Motivation. Psychological Review, 50, 370-396.
