How to tell someone you like: 9 tips to attract

One of the main discoveries in psychology is that in personal relationships, beginnings matter a lot in the impression we make. This also applies when it comes to seducing, and more specifically, when expressing our feelings for a person.

But... How do you tell someone that you like him or her, and that you would like to have something else with him or her? Let's see how to express the attraction we feel for that person in a way in which we can open up honestly, and at the same time, let's not make someone we like spend an uncomfortable time. Combining these two processes will make everything go as smoothly as possible, regardless of whether the attraction is reciprocated or not (that's not entirely up to us).

• Related article: "20 questions to know if that person likes you"

How do I tell someone that I like him?

By revealing this new facet of who we are, we are exposing ourselves to ourselves, but also to the person who receives this message of attraction, because he must respond to a sensitive issue.

Therefore, everything you do to tell someone that you like him should be oriented towards two main objectives: express yourself clearly and do so without creating awkward moments unnecessarily. The latter is also related to the former, because having a bad time makes the conversation interrupt. the sooner it is more important than communicating what you feel, both on our part and on the other's part person.

That said, let's look at a series of tips so that launching into telling someone we are attracted to is less difficult and is more likely to turn out well for both parties. By the way, given the choice, it is better that you communicate this by meeting in person, and in a context without distractions and in which there is no reason to rush and stop talking to dedicate yourself to another thing.

1. Make sure you are heard

It seems silly, but it is important to keep in mind that, in situations in which we can get nervous, even if we do not realize it the tendency to speak softly appears, something that hinders communication a lot (and more when the message is very relevant, as is the case when you want to tell someone that you like).

This tendency to speak low arises almost unconsciously as a strategy so that, if we make a mistake when expressing something, the error can go unnoticed; but the remedy is worse than the disease, because it generates ambiguity and confusion.

So, practice a little vocalizing in front of a mirror; But be careful, don't learn a script, because the effort to remember it could make your nerves affect you more. Focus on getting used to expressing what you feel by speaking loud and clear, in your normal tone of voice.

2. Don't worry about experiencing nerves

It is important not to become obsessed with not showing nervous discomfort when telling someone you like them. This generates added discomfort, because it is almost never fulfilled, and that generates a feeling of loss and control and frustration.

Remember that even if you feel stress, from the point of view of other people this is much less noticeable than you do, and many times it goes completely unnoticed.

In turn, the simple fact of telling someone that we are attracted to makes that person feel a bit nervous as well, and focus your attention on how you should react, rather than examining us for signs of unsafety. In any case, nothing happens if you notice our nerves; no one could blame us for it; the important thing is that nerves do not interfere with communication, and that's it.

• You may be interested: "How to control your nerves? 10 stress management strategies"

4. Create a very brief script

The ideal way to face the challenge of revealing to someone we like is not to complicate our lives with detailed scripts of what we should do; the ideal is to order simple and very summarized ideas so that we can have that scheme in mind easily.

5. Look into my eyes and don't hold a tense posture

Another way to avoid uncomfortable moments is to remember to look into the eyes, and adopt a non-verbal communication style that does not reveal a defensive or hostile attitude, because this would contradict the content of what we want to say: that we want to be closer to that person, instead of further away).

However, don't get hung up on this; just keep it in mind so that it is easier for you to notice when you start to look away or cross your arms (if it happens), to correct it in the moment.

6. Make that person feel attractive

This does not mean that you should flatter that person, or recite a list of the virtues that according to your point of view they have. It's more of an attitude issue, like mentioning why you started to be attracted to her when you first met, or telling her that you like spending time in her company.

The way you do it should depend on the type of relationship you have with her.; If you already know each other and there is enough confidence, you can get a little closer by telling them, to show attraction. The objective is that what you say has a clear meaning and corresponds to what you express through what you imply with your non-verbal language.

7. Avoid cliche phrases

Another of the most effective elements to know how to tell someone you like is to communicate it in a totally personalized and unique way, not including cliché phrases (unless it is part of a joke).

8. Say it in a direct and summarized way

It is preferable that you tell someone you like in a way that takes you a few seconds; doing it with a talk that lasts for several minutes creates discomfort because it does not allow you to converse fluently, and it also dilutes the main message.

9. If it doesn't correspond to you, life goes on

It is very common that the people we like do not correspond to us; That does not mean that we are not worth as people, simply that the attraction has not arisen in a bidirectional way in that specific case. There will be many more opportunities, and many other people that we may like and that we may like.

Bibliographic references:

• Miller, R., Perlman, D., and Brehm, S.S. (2014). Intimate Relationships. McGrawHill Companies