Unhealthy jealousy: 10 signs of jealous people

The Couple relationships they are usually complicated. At the beginning of the courtship, everything is rosy, the infatuation chemicals They are in full feasting and we are invaded by positive feelings. However, and depending on some circumstances that we will try to explain, it is common to see how many couples degrade and even break up due to a common problem: jealousy.

What is jealousy?

In the field of couple relationships, jealousy is feelings of insecurity and anguish that invade one or both members of a sentimental partner when a series of situations occur. This negative feeling can arise when they feel that the love of the other is in danger, or when they notice with fear that they are no longer the center of attention of the loved one.

By extension, all interpersonal relationships can be affected by jealousy. We can find examples of situations of jealousy that occur even in adult life: “my mother spends more time on her to my sister, she has always been the favorite ”or“ my best friend asked someone else out and I was her best friend".

As we can see, not all jealousy comes from romantic partners, but it is true that it is much more common between boyfriends. In fact, jealousy is a recurring problem in couples psychological consultations.

The side effects of jealousy (and how to deal with them)

Situations like this can occur much more frequently than we imagine, generating feelings of anger, irritability and rivalry between the parties involved. Sometimes we use the wrong ways to reinforce our sense of worth, and we also present a certain Difficulty accepting the presence of other sources of gratification (other than ourselves) in the life of that being loved. They are elements that can generate the necessary breeding ground for jealousy to arise.

However, these situations are usually, in most cases, resolved without major complications, since it is assumed that in adulthood a series of emotional tools that allow these unpleasant feelings to be channeled into more adaptive responses. Most people are able to relativize this feeling and put it in context, but there are other people who, for one reason or another, are invaded by the feeling of discomfort caused by jealousy, without being able to control.

The good side of jealousy

It is worth mentioning that, on occasions, jealousy can be helpful. Is this possible? Yes, because in certain situations jealousy can make it possible to turn on an alert in our mind in case we are living real situations that require a series of actions that guarantee the stability of the relationship with that being loved. For example, jealousy can be a sign that something is up, and that perhaps there is a third person who is really getting involved in our love relationship.

Jealousy would thus constitute an advantage in making certain reasonable doubts present and our decision making and do not make us act blindly because of the love or affection we feel towards the other person. However, it should be noted that jealousy alone does not guarantee that we will judge what happens to us rationally: this requires other capacities.

When are they harmful?

Is jealousy potentially harmful to our emotional well-being? In general, These feelings manifest themselves in an uncontrolled way, they are irrational, without objective basis and therefore, harmful. These are the Sickly jealousies, those that can really end interpersonal relationships, and those that pose a problem for the psychological well-being of the person who suffers them.

Unfortunately, There is the erroneous belief that when a person feels jealous for his loved one, it is because he loves him very much. This is a huge mistake that can generate dangerous dynamics and make the situation worse. In fact, it is easy to hear phrases like: "if he feels jealous for you, it is because he is very much in love." This type of conception about jealousy can be a bad start for a relationship, since the love of a couple must be sown in freedom to allow both members to grow and flourish; Jealousy only suffocates the relationship, to the point of making it unbearable.

The signs that warn us that someone is jealous

Below are the most frequent symptoms that indicate that we are facing someone who suffers from unhealthy jealousy. However, it is worth emphasizing the fact that people who experience these feelings live with a lot of pain for most of their days.

Jealousy is a serious problem that may require the intervention of a mental health professional. Generally, people recognize their problem for themselves, but it is extremely difficult for them to recognize it in front of others and, consequently, they refuse to receive help. This can prevent them from getting out of the negative spiral.

10 signs and symptoms of jealous people

• They check the phone of their relatives (partner, family) constantly, and also their personal accounts (Facebook, e-mail ...).

• They distrust co-workers, both men and women.

• They do not welcome their partners to carry out personal activities pleasurable.

• They assume that their partners dress up and put on makeup to please to other people.

• They carefully check their partners' clothes looking for marks or smells of other people.

• They assume that their partners' personal purchases are gifts towards other people.

• They deprive their partners of enjoying spaces with other people, even if they have the opportunity to accompany them.

• They criticize, humiliate, scold and devalue constantly to their partners.

• They tend to have a rude attitude and arrogant.

• They ridicule their partners in front of other people.

The need to overcome this problem

People who experience jealousy to a high degree feel fear, anguish, sadness, stress, and even body aches as a result of their mistrust. They may even feel uneasy about life.

But it is necessary to insist that jealousy problems can be overcome going to a suitable professional. This emotional situation can be remedied.