The metaphor of the Japanese boxes "Himitsu-bako"

The concept of these puzzle boxes originated in the early 19th century in the Hakone region of Japan., where they were given as souvenirs to the people who visited the hot springs in the area. Its creator was Ryugoro Okawa.

It is a type of box that can only be opened through a series of very precise movements. Some boxes only require a few pieces to slide to the right place; others force millimetric movements to be carried out in each of its pieces.

You can watch a video about these boxes below:

What are Himitsu-bako boxes?

This week, the team at Mensalus Institute explains the importance of understanding and respecting "the difference" through the metaphor of the Himitsu-Bako boxes.

What metaphor exists behind the puzzle box?

To begin with, each box is unique and therefore its way of opening is also unique. As we mentioned, they are manufactured with different levels of complexity. For this reason, simple models only require two or three steps to open, while more complex models require a minimum of a thousand movements.

Something similar happens with conflict resolution. Each situation is unique, whatever its complexity, and requires a unique intervention strategy.

We deal with situations that share similar processes on a daily basis. When there is learning and a routine, the issues that we attend and solve are like simple boxes. Still, every moment, every scenario, is exclusive. Likewise, throughout life we ​​also find complex boxes that require time and attention. The solution requires more elaborate moves and, of course, a lot of failed tests.

Both in the case of simple and complex boxes, the trial-error is the one that indicates the piece that we will have to slide. Solutions flow with practice and take shape through learning and patience.

Does the metaphor of boxes also apply to people?

Of course. Each person has unique tools (resources) that allow them to connect with the world, relate to themselves and others, face adversity, etc. This set of abilities is reflected in your system of thoughts and emotions. Each one of us, in each situation, will think, feel and act in a different way (it will behave like an unrepeatable puzzle box).

What does this individual difference tell us?

Understanding that each person is a box and operates as such helps us to understand that there is no single reality and only one way of seeing life, at the same time that it reminds us the importance of empathizing with someone else's "box".

Sometimes it is difficult to adapt to the other's way of operating ...

Certain. And not only because of the difference in points of view, but also because of the difference in vital rhythms. For example, what for one is a moment of reflection or waiting may be a waste of time for another.

Continuing with the example of the vital rhythms, in teamwork respect for the “other people's box” is a very important issue to be discussed. The metaphor of the Himitsu-Bako boxes is a very graphic way of explaining that the intervention strategy will not depend only of the objective, it will also do it of the people who participate in it and the synergies that are created at the time of to work.

This can also be extrapolated to other systems (for example, the family context or the couple). The difference in rhythms when solving questions of daily life can become a serious problem. When this happens, preserving an assertive communicative style is one of the main challenges.

In this sense, what aspects can help when respecting the rhythm of others?

First of all, avoid imposing our rhythm as the only valid structure. Rigid postures lead to discussions led by failed communication strategies such as "escalation" (raising the tone and the aggressiveness of the speech in order to seek recognition) or omission (shut up and endure without sharing one's own opinion).

Understanding that the other person operates from their own way of interpreting reality reveals a world to us (new points of view) and complements our vision, either through reinforcing or de-empowering our constructs (those words that shape our discourse and explain our values).

In times when communication is not efficient, how can the metaphor of boxes help us?

If we do not understand the box, we can hardly open it (solve the puzzle). This understanding goes through the recognition of the other's need, the exposition of one's own need and the analysis of the situation from both points of view.

Remembering the metaphor of the Himitsu-bako boxes is a way of making explicit the difference that characterizes each human being, which, in turn, defines their essence (their way of thinking, feeling and acting).

Accepting the difference makes us more flexible and efficient when dealing with conflict resolution. In addition, this acceptance facilitates the connection with others and helps us to enjoy the attractiveness that the exclusivity of each “box” awakens.