Supporting Gay Teens

Homosexuality continues to be a source of stigma in the vast majority of the countries of the world, if not to say that it is in practically all. Beliefs based on tradition, which spread an essentialist and anti-scientific vision of what sexuality is human, makes for some people being homosexual means going against nature (although that does not mean nothing).

The effects of discrimination against sexual preferences that fall outside of heterosexuality They especially feed on gay teens, who are in the process of forming their own identity and are more vulnerable to attacks that undermine their personality and prevent them from expressing themselves as they are.

• You may be interested: "Why the idea that homosexuality is unnatural is absurd, in 5 reasons"

Tips for supporting gay teens

In the following lines we will see some guidelines to follow to help that homosexual adolescents in our environment feel accepted, supported and respected, in addition to ensuring that they are not afraid to show their tastes and preferences as anyone would.

1. Learn the basics of gender and sexuality

This step is essential, as it will avoid confusion in dealing with these young people. The fact that for centuries heterosexuality has been considered "normal" has made this be associated with many other things related to gender that have also been considered normal and socially desirable.

For example, there are those who understand that being homosexual is feeling of a gender that does not correspond to the one denoted by their genitals, or having attitudes and actions associated with those of the opposite sex yours.

Thus, a distinction must be made between biological sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender roles. Gender identity consists of the gender to which one's own identity is associated (although there are also people who do not identify themselves with none), and gender roles are the set of tasks, actions and styles of behavior that have been socially assigned to a gender.

2. Keep in mind that homosexuality is not something exotic

You cannot treat a homosexual adolescent like a museum piece. That is, behaviors like asking you a lot of questions about your lifestyle and your sexual preferences. It is one thing to worry about making him feel comfortable, and another is to burden him reminding him over and over of her orientation; In that context, it is normal for him to consider that there is something strange about him.

3. Help him understand that he is not to blame for the discrimination

Unfortunately, it is still normal for homosexual people to suffer psychological or even physical attacks for the fact of being gay. But the main harmful effect of this is not usually the acute discomfort that each attack generates, but the way in which these experiences can lead to thinking about oneself. The Fair World Theory explains that there is a tendency to think that in clear cases of suffering, it is likely that the victim has done something to deserve it, and this also applies to self-concept.

Thus, in the face of continued attacks, the idea that if there is so much hatred it must be for a legitimate reason, gains strength, and this not only undermines self-esteem, but leads to confusion about what you are and what you must do to deserve to live in peace.

• You may be interested: "Just World Theory: Do we get what we deserve?"

4. Hear their real concerns

Each case is unique, so you have to know how to adapt to the person you are dealing with. In the case of young gay men, it is easy that stereotypes make us take for granted things that really are not.

Therefore, we must listen carefully to what they explain about themselves, without letting our beliefs and schemes deform the content of their message. Only in this way will it be known how to support homosexual adolescents correctly and without falling into simplicity.

5. Promote their integration into groups, but don't force them

In adolescence it is very important to feel accepted by a group. Unfortunately, the young people of the new generations do not have to be more respectful than adults with the diversity of sexual orientations. In fact, in the case of males, there is a toxic masculinity that makes abuse frequent to those who leave the prototype of a tough, violent and, of course, heterosexual man.

That is why it is good to help these young people who are more likely to be excluded find a group in which to integrate well. However, you have to be respectful of their preferences and interests, and don't push for them to join a specific group if they don't want to.

6. Show references beyond heterosexuality

It is very positive that adolescents find references that inspire them to develop their personality. In this sense, meeting someone who is homosexual and shows positive or even admirable values, is beneficial because it shows that this sexual orientation does not have to be a reason to to embarrass.