The importance of forgiveness to overcome anxiety

If I asked you "who would win when you allow yourself to forgive?", You might think it's silly, but the reality is that everyone wins.

Both achieve an inner peace that is very difficult to acquire by other means, so it is important to practice forgiveness whenever we consider it necessary from the heart.

Practicing forgiveness reduces the intensity of depressive symptoms, pain, stress, and anger. The individual experiences a sense of peace, compassion and hope, as well as full self-confidence.

• Related article: "What is social psychology?"

Forgiveness in psychology and its influence on anxiety

Before you read on, I'd like you to take a few seconds to reflect and ask yourself what your definition of forgiveness is. This word is very present in our lives since we are little, that is why I want to share the importance of its meaning and its relevance when it comes to overcoming anxiety.

To forgive in itself is to free a person from punishment or obligation. I do not know if it seems to the definition that you have written, but in this case I am going to focus on the word liberate, which is fundamental.

As we have seen, allowing ourselves to forgive someone assumes that both parties are victorious, since forgiving the other is also forgiving ourselves. It consists of going beyond the judgments and perceptions that limit us and pigeonhole us in insecurity. That is why a change of perception is necessary, another way of considering the circumstances and the people that we believe have caused us problems and pain.

• Forgiveness, being a decision, allows us to see beyond the limits of the personality of other people, their mistakes, fears, idiosyncrasy, the decision to see in pure essence (not conditioned by personal stories) that we have that unlimited capacity to liberate and Free us.
• We must have an attitude of readiness to accept our responsibility regarding our perception, understanding that they are options, not subjective facts.
• Forgiving does not mean justifying unacceptable behavior.
• It is not pretending that "everything is fine" or "nothing has happened" when you feel that it is not.
• It is not adopting an attitude of superiority.
• It does not mean that you should change your behavior.
• It does not involve communicating directly with the person you have forgiven.

So do not justify yourself in these erroneous ideas not to do it.

People are wrong

Recognizing and learning to forgive is difficult, but not impossible. As with losses, we go through the phases of mourning when an affront is inflicted on us. and you may notice somatic problems, concerns related to guilt, hostile reactions, loss of behavior patterns.

1. The rejection phase

It is a protection mechanism, being a natural and temporary escape that cushions the immediate impact and helps to assimilate the terrible reality, because even when there is “intellectual” acceptance, the emotional process is very slow.

2. Anger

Resentment lessens sufferingIt is a phase where we improve by being able to express very strong feelings that we did not think we were capable of expressing.

• You may be interested in: "How to control anger: 7 practical tips"

3. Endurance

We feel powerless, unable or weak to face new situations or decisions. We want to take the time to grieve and we resist ending it. Although working our pain is something important and allows us to feel fully, it should be remembered that it is a temporary phase and we cannot stay pigeonholed forever.

4. Recovery

Hope gradually makes its way. We regain a sense of ourselves when facing harsh reality.

Externalizing our pain and trying to coexist with it says a lot about our mental health. There is no simplification when it comes to pain, we cannot avoid it, we must face it.

Steps to forgive

The best way to forgive is to understand what it was that hurt you, understand that that person could also make a mistake and keep moving forward.

That is where forgiveness makes sense, because it has much more to do with acceptance, it is liberation in its purest form.

• You must know exactly how you feel and have the ability to admit that what has been done to you is an affront to you.
• Forgiving does not mean an imminent reconciliation (much less that things will be as before). So you must keep in mind that if you forgive it does not imply that you tolerate the actions of that person, but rather to find peace for yourself and leave what happened in the past.
• You must commit to doing it and from the heart. Remember that it is for you and no one else.
• Remember that distress comes from negative thoughts and feelings of pain. It can also be accompanied by physical symptoms. Forgiveness helps mitigate all those feelings.
• You can practice some simple relaxation technique to calm yourself down.
• Avoid reacting impulsively; It is something that is expected of you, but in the long term it is much worse because you can make the conflict worse.
• Find positive goals instead of reliving the pain, it is always better to find new ways to fight for what you want.
• Don't think about revenge. By focusing on your emotional wound, you are letting the person who committed the affront have power over you. Forgiveness is about being in control.

If you want to transform your grudge story, I can offer you my online workshop "Turn forgiveness into gratitude"; There I will teach you that the most heroic decision you can make is to forgive.

The ability to forgive has many benefits, because in the act itself pain is released, and makes you forget the feeling of anger and helplessness, being able to regain hope, tranquility and self-confidence.

You must understand that if you find yourself in a situation of "unforgiveness", you are angry, but not only with the person who did the affront to you, but to a large extent you are with yourself and with all the world.

Therefore, the ability to forgive involves leaving your spirit alone, fixing that damaged relationship to make way for the emotional stability that you need so much.