Self-esteem or self-destruction?

Self-esteem is increasingly identified as a fundamental pillar on the basis of psychological balance and adequate emotional management, in a way that affects the well-being of people and in a suitable way of being, being or feeling.

There are different ways of loving little or almost nothing and not looking like it. When we attribute events to bad luck or circumstances, for example. The truth is that, sometimes, we don't do things for ourselves, to take care of ourselves, to feel good, to love ourselves; And that can become a way to destroy us, to ruin us a little more as people.

• Related article: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"

From self-destruction to caring for self-esteem

There are many ways to destroy ourselves, to harm ourselves without being considered part of a pathology, but being something negative and dangerous. Let's review some ideas that have to do with self-esteem.

1. Learn to accept ourselves

We are unique and unrepeatable beings and we are in constant evolution and change

. Sometimes we are left with distorted images of ourselves and do not incorporate acceptance and recognition to the changes we are making. Nor do we accept what we do not like as the first step to modify it.

2. Try to be critical in the right measure

Some people are very hard on self-criticism, and it seriously damages their self-esteem. They are martyred for the decisions made, they blame themselves for the unforeseen consequences And they keep holding these kinds of thoughts long enough to make it unbearable.

Finding the balance when making judgments about your own behavior is a skill that must be worked on and developed.

• You may be interested in: "Dysfunctional perfectionism: causes, symptoms and treatment"

3. Perform frequent self-care actions

It is important to do this by unlinking self-care from the concept of selfishness., clearly frowned upon and, at times, mistaken for self-centeredness.

Being selfish is not always bad and taking care of ourselves is essential, since, if we do not do it each of us, we expect others to do it, without knowing exactly when we need it most. We talk about simple things that can be sophisticated as much as necessary: ​​a calm and unhurried breakfast, a reading time, a shower that is not against the clock or a walk with enough time, perhaps a relaxed chat or whatever you know makes you feel Wonderful.

4. Promote actions to achieve our vital goals

Knowing what we want to achieve at each stage of life and making an action plan to achieve it can be something simple or very complex, but requires stopping to think about it, being responsible in the intermediate steps and chaining actions. If that's what you want to achieve, get to it, don't expect it to come alone.

5. Consider our priority needs from time to time

If we allow ourselves to be carried away by the urgency of the environment or of others, sometimes, our needs remain in a permanent queue and their turn never comes, unless we put them in the front row. From time to time you have to look at that and reestablish the order of needs.

Assessment of the initial situation

And now there are some questions: what do you intentionally do to feel comfortable inside your skin? How do you act and how do you talk to yourself? Are you consistent with your values ​​and principles?

Inertia, the movement generated by the current that occurs around us, sometimes leads us towards behaviors that are not really what we want or feel good about. It is necessary to stop and reflect on it, to realize the most frequent thoughts and the language we use, because it influences those thoughts and the emotions that are generated.

Look at your internal messages, maybe they go along the lines of "I can't do anything else" or "it's not worth going against the current". But it is about you, the most important thing in your life. If you do not consider yourself important, and you convince yourself that "it is worth it" to do everything possible to be well, at ease; then you stop taking care of yourself, loving yourself, respecting yourself and, without being fully aware, you begin to self-destruct and, as a consequence, to harm those around you.

It's easy to get carried away by victimhood and to place oneself in the place of a passive subject, instead of considering ourselves responsible and taking initiatives with an eye on us, on feeling good, strong, capable; in learning from past mistakes to look to future opportunities. In short, in feeling that everyone has the power to influence what happens around you.

We know that we live in difficult times, bad experiences or mistrust abound and new complications appear every moment. The easy thing is to get carried away by discouragement and the tendency to think that we can not do anything, but... Can we really do nothing?

Maybe it's time to take care of yourself like never before, to build confidence and self-esteem really, with conviction and every day. Unleash your potential and test the options in front of you. Experience the moments when things turn out, even if it is good, regular or bad. But do not stop doing it, to try your options again. Nobody better than you to believe in you. Take care of your self esteem, is a safe value.