Guide to meeting new people: sites, skills and tips

It is not a question of being more or less spontaneous, more or less shy more or less extroverted. Meeting new people is not an easy task.

The art of communicating and enjoying the sympathy of other people is complex. Many of us want to have more friends, more people to trust, but the truth is that we rarely get hands to work to achieve it, because we believe that it is a way of recognizing that we are quite alone in this lifetime. What's more, It seems that when we have reached a certain age, it is "normal" that we already enjoy our gang of friends, but...

The ultimate guide to meeting new people

The truth is that we all (or almost all) have this feeling that our social life is a bit stagnant. The circumstances by which we can notice that we do not have as many friends as we would like are varied: we have gone to live in a new city, we have had love relationships that have changed the landscape of our social life, we are too immersed in our work, we have become used to having a minimal repertoire of colleagues, or simply because we enjoy hobbies a little lonely.

You can have a thousand motivations to want to meet more people. The key is to look for environments and situations in which you can have spontaneous and natural conversations with people who, for some reason, attract your attention.

Sometimes, these types of social situations where everything works in our favor to meet people are not so easy to find. Not to mention that, with each year that we turn, it can be a little more difficult for us to make new friends and open up to the world. We need to do our part: you will have to shame yourself off, jump to the fore and leave your comfort zone.

To help you in this endeavor to meet new people and give your life new colors, we wanted to develop this practical guide. Here you will find places where you can make new friends, and also tips and communication techniques to make it much easier for you.

• Take a look at this post: "The 6 psychological keys to be liked by others"

Good places to meet people

When looking for places to meet new people, it is best to focus on those places where you are likely to meet the same people repeatedly. Valid examples: a sports club, a gym or a cafeteria with a faithful parish. In this way, by visiting a site frequently, you will have more chances to interact with people who are familiar to you, and it will be easier to meet new people.

Anyway, never forget these tips:

• Create friendly and natural interactions. Think that it is not necessary (nor recommended) that you act strident. It is much more advisable that you be prudent and pleasant, since you will see these people again on a daily basis.
• It is a very good idea that the sites you choose are places to meet potential friends with hobbies, ideas and jobs with which you feel comfortable and identified. If, for example, you don't like football, it is a bad idea to frequent a peña from a football team, because you will feel like an octopus in a garage.
• If you go to a birthday or an event try to arrive a little before it starts, and so you can start to get to know the attendees. If you are late, people will have already met and will be talking in small groups, and it may be more difficult to get into one.
• Keep in mind that familiarity likes; The more you know a person, the easier it is to like him. That is why it is important that you are a regular on some sites that allow you to be in contact with other people.

Ultimately, everything is a matter of time and of opening up a little to others. Not all interactions will go as you expect, but little by little you will promote good attunement with the people around you.

• Recommended reading: "The 10 basic communication skills"

More interesting places and environments to meet people are as follows:

1. Take a cooking course for beginners (or an English course, or salsa ...)

If you sign up for classes about something that you are passionate about, it is more than likely that you will make new friends. Be careful, it is not convenient that you attend these classes with the sole intention of making new friends. Just pick an activity that appeals to you on its own, and once you're there it will be easier for you to connect with other people who like the same thing. Dance classes, languages, cooking, painting, crafts… there are many facets in this life that are waiting for you to give them a chance.

If you sign up for, let's say, German classes, keep in mind that the other attendees may be very dedicated to homework and books, rather than engaging in conversations with other attendees. To combat this, it is a good idea to show up a few minutes before each class, so you will have time to interact with other students and get to know them a little better.

2. Organize a party and invite friends and acquaintances

If you already have some friends close to where you live, it is a great idea to organize a party in your own home. You can ask your friends to invite several of their co-workers or people they get along with, and that way it is very easy for you to connect with new people. Being the host is an added point!

3. Your neighbors also exist

Yes, at first glance it may seem unappetizing, but think about it. If you know the people who live near you, you can easily start to expand your circle of friends. You just need to be nice and introduce yourself politely. They will surely like you and, if you are more or less similar in age or hobbies, they will invite you any day to have a beer at their apartment, or to go out to party... who knows!

4. Join an entity with which to develop your hobbies

We all have hobbies and activities that we would like to spend more time on. If you have a hobby, it is very likely that you are not alone in the world. Your job is to find an entity or organization with the same interest, and attend the meetings that are held. If you are a fan of video games, ceramics, archery climbing or diving, for sure that you find people with the same passion and it will be very easy to start conversations and make plans with they.

5. NGOs and volunteering

If you want to help people with few resources, you can go to a volunteer center and carry out solidarity actions to improve the community. It is not only a positive thing to contribute to these altruistic causes, but it will allow you to meet people with good values, people willing to reach out and who enjoy making new friends. From there you can make friends for life.

6. Anywhere is good

Ok, we've talked about especially good places to meet people, but let's be clear: Any place is conducive for you to meet nice people and with whom to share good times. The most important thing is that you are open to that possibility.

The skills that will allow you to meet new people

We've already been talking about where to meet people, but we have not yet had time to explain how our attitude should be if we want to open our social circle. We can all be more outgoing, fun and outgoing, you just need to keep reading and apply these principles to your daily life.

1. Nothing happens to be nervous

Social skills experts often advise that when addressing someone you don't know, you should appear confident. Let's start destroying this myth. If for whatever reason you are not an ax of communication, you are not alone: 80-90% of the world's population also feel nervous when we first talk to someone we don't know.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a little more nervous than usual. Keep in mind that your interlocutor is more likely to empathize with you if he notices that you are a little nervous, since it has happened to all of us, and you will give the image of being someone honest and that does not go with masks or impostures. Although good, that does not mean that you should speak out of fear: go with ease, show yourself as you are and try to connect with the person with whom you are chatting. A trick to dissipate nervousness is to focus on what the other person says and does, so you will not be so aware of yourself.

• Let's dive into this: "The 10 tips to make a good first impression"

2. How to start? present yourself

Well, sure, you are not going to sing a song to him in the first moment of the interaction, are you? Presenting yourself in a jovial and light-hearted way is a good way to break the ice. You can take the opportunity to politely ask the name of the person with whom you are speaking. At that moment you will have a bit of confidence, but it is necessary that you try to be open and ask about what has encouraged you to start a conversation: “I love your dress, where? Did you buy it? "," You have very beautiful features, am I wrong if I say you are from another city? ", or even something more bland like" How was your day? " or "Why are you in this party?".

The important thing is not the what, but the as. If you are nice and polite, any question is a good one to break the ice and keep encouraging good weather.. Of course, it is not a good idea to say that you want to make friends, because you can put the other person in a commitment, and you will be transmitting a lot of need. Just be nice and creative and the other person will want to keep getting to know you.

• Mandatory reading: "10 tricks to be more sociable and fun"

3. Some questions and ideas to build the conversation

But how do you keep interacting; what to say to that person you just met? It is best to opt for contextual comments, that refer to things that are happening in the environment in which you find yourself (how bad the music at the party is, how funny the teacher in the next class is, the opinion that you both have about the place ...).

Some studies have shown that one of the best questions to start talking to someone is asking where they came from. That can spark quite a bit of interest and feedback. Think about it: we all want to tell our story to someone who wants to hear it.

• More tips and suggestions: "25 questions to get to know a person better"

4. Be a good "listener"

Do you know what the active listening? It is important that you show that you are interested in the person with whom you have a conversation, and that is done by listening carefully.

Also, don't forget that we all like to have our beliefs reinforced and complimented. Without going overboard and without being false, it is good that you remind your interlocutor what you like about him or her. It's the easiest way for you to feel valued and comfortable.

5. What is it that links you with your interlocutor?

If your goal is to have a pleasant and fruitful conversation, the normal thing is that you ask questions and answer the answers of your interlocutor. At some point you will realize that you have something in common: a hobby, the football team you follow, a television series that you both love, a television program with which you can't stop laughing... That is positive, and you can lean on these commonalities to deepen the conversation..

It is not necessary that you insist on looking for things in common at all costs, it is something that will emerge quite naturally.

6. Say goodbye cordially and keep in touch

If you have connected with the person you have met, you will feel good and you will notice that the words flow and good feelings. Take the opportunity to ask for the contact (mobile number, e-mail ...) and so you can contact him to see you another time.

Keep in mind that you are not friends yet and it is better that the "second meeting" is in a public place and to carry out an activity that motivates both of you, or simply to have a drink on a terrace sunny. This way the other person will not feel pressured and will almost certainly accept.