Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it

The emotional validation It is a process of learning, understanding and expression of acceptance of the emotional experience of another individual or of oneself (emotional self-validation). The opposite of emotional validation is "emotional invalidation," which refers to the rejection, ignorance, or judgment of another person's emotional experience.

Emotion validation improves interpersonal relationships since the other person feels understood, recognized, and favors the increase of the verbalization of what the other thinks and feels, since he feels heard. This causes an increase in trust between the two of you and lays the foundation for creating a good relationship.

Acceptance, empathy and expression of emotional validation

The acceptance It is an option that is presented to us when it comes to resolving conflicts, especially in interpersonal relationships. As part of this, emotional validation is a way of communicating acceptance towards others (or towards ourselves), but it does not mean that we agree or share the thoughts of the other person. Validating is accepting and validating what another person is feeling, whether or not we agree with their point of view or her feelings. Therefore, emotional validation is

empathy and acceptance of another individual.

On the other hand, although it is common to judge or criticize what other people think if we do not agree with them, on many occasions we do not show that we disagree. This is not emotional validation, anymore emotional validation offers opportunities for emotional expression. Validation is not only accepting emotions, but this acceptance must be communicated to the other person.

Tips to improve emotional validation

Learning to validate emotions correctly can take practice. Validating an emotion consists of making explicit the emotion that we think the person has (for example, Does this make you feel ???) and implies that the other person feels understood, valued and accepted. Here are some tips to improve emotional validation.

1. Be present

There are many ways to be present, but in the world we live in, we are not always present. Being in mindfulness (or mindfulness) is the first step to emotional validation. Some strategies to achieve this are: hold the hand of the person who is speaking to us and listen to what they say, or use active listening. The training Mindfulness it can be helpful in learning to be in the present moment.

2. Listen and reflect

The objective reflection refers to making an objective summary of what the other person has told you. But not just any summary is valid, but after active listening (paying attention to their reactions and emotions), reflection allows you to learn and understand more deeply by seeing situations from different lenses

Challenging questions will even help you question your own beliefs about the world. But to make an objective reflection, it is necessary to have knowledge about Emotional intelligenceas it can help you understand, label, and regulate emotions, and help you separate the latter from thoughts and cultural impositions.

3. Understand other people's reaction

On many occasions we let ourselves be carried away by the intensity of our emotions and we do not stop to think about the cause in the reaction of other people. It is essential to understand what the other may be feeling or thinking. Each individual's ability with emotional intelligence is different, but it can be learned. Although we cannot read minds, we can try to find out what led the other person to act that way.

To understand the reaction of another person, you can encourage him to speak by asking carefully questions. selected, and expressions that let him know that you understand how he feels and that you are willing to listen to him Talk about it. For example, "I think you were offended by the comment I just made."

4. Understand the situation

It is important have knowledge about the culture and context of the other. Therefore, reading emotions implies that with few elements you can formulate a hypothesis about your emotional reaction. This hypothesis must be communicated to the other person so that she can express to us if we are correct.

For example, with a person who has been bitten by a dog, we could say "because of what happened to you with a dog a few years ago, I understand that you do not want my dog ​​to come near you."

5. Normalize emotions

Understand emotional reactions as something normal helps everyone. For an emotionally sensitive person, knowing that most people can feel the same way in the same situation is beneficial. For example, “I understand that you may be anxious or nervous. Speaking to the public can be a difficult situation the first time ”.

6. Have an open mind to the emotional experience of the other

Acceptance and open mind towards the emotional experience of the other is going to be positive for any interpersonal relationship. Regardless of the emotion the other person is feeling, it is their emotion and must be respected. It is important to make room for all emotions, since they all have a meaning.