The 6 main types of toxic relationships

There has been previously talk about toxic relationshipsBut there is one fact that you need to pay attention to: this is a concept that encompasses many types of very different situations.

That is there are several types of toxic relationships with different characteristics and that encompass different forms of relationship in which one or both members of the couple experience discomfort.

Why do some people insist on making life difficult for others?

For example, in some cases the toxic relationship is part of a dynamic of mistreatment towards the partner, while in others it is a relationship in which resentment and frustration appear But you don't deliberately harm the other person.

They are relationships that tend to get worse over time due to the attitude of a specific person. The problem with this type of relationship is that, in the end, there is always someone who ends up paying for the broken dishes and suffering.

The main types of toxic relationships

That is why it is good to keep in mind even one outline of the main toxic relationships and how they can be identified.

1. The relationship in which decision-making power is given

In some couples, one of the two people takes the ability to make important decisions and becomes, somehow, the boss or boss of the relationship. Of course, this hierarchy of the couple has no real justification, since unlike what happens in teams focused on a specific objective (sell or produce a type of product), the couple is not focused on performing certain tasks efficiently: their existence is justified by the emotional ties of their partners. members.

Therefore, the reasons behind this takeover cannot be justified considering how useful this is to achieve certain goals and, furthermore, undermines the autonomy of one of the couple's components, who sees his decision-making power being drastically reduced.

This may not be perceived as a problem at first, as it can be seen as a type of relationship in which the other person is the one who takes risks and makes things more difficult. However, Entering into these dynamics will make one of the parties get used to commanding and the other to obeying without question..

2. The relationship based on blackmail

Sometimes the affections and love that were once the basis and justification of the relationship are replaced by a form of blackmail that lengthens the life of the relationship in a harmful and artificial way.

The case of emotional blackmail is clear: a person feels sorry for her partner and grants him privileged and favorable treatment, which in turn helps the other person learn to "be a victim" to collect benefits from her. In this relationship, the main victim is the one who constantly gives in, since in practice she is being controlled and manipulated by her partner.

This can show that it leaves the other a total capacity to make decisions about her own life, but indirectly it does things to make the other feel bad when, for example, she goes out to party with friends of the opposite sex and without her "supervision" of her. In other words, the tool that the manipulative party uses to benefit is its ability to induce the feeling of guilt in the other.

3. The other idealized

This type of toxic relationship appears when it begins to become apparent that one or both members of the couple have not fallen in love with the person they share affection with, but with an idealized version of her. Although this fact may have already been intuited during the first months of the relationship, it is possible that little importance is paid to it and that, in any case, this has been solved cognitive dissonance overestimating the ability of the other to change in the future and conform to our expectations.

When it becomes clear that the other person will not change as we want, resentment appears. However, the worst-case scenario that can occur from this type of toxic relationship is when the pressure that one of the two people exerts on the other to try to change it becomes a form of mistreatment.

4. The idealized relationship

Just as you can idealize a person, so can relationships. If the degree of idealization is strong enough, this will transform it into a toxic type of relationship.

The fundamental problem that exists in this type of relationship is that the members of the couple start with very different expectations about what their relationship will be like. It is basically about a communication problem during the early stages of the relationship.

For example, if there is a lot of distance between the houses of both, one of them may assume that after a few months of saving it another person will go to live with her, or it can be assumed that at a certain point both will go to live in a city in which neither of them she has lived, while the other prefers not to make this sacrifice because she is satisfied with seeing her partner only during the weekends. week.

This is one of the types of toxic relationships whose effects are felt in the long term, when they have made several sacrifices for the couple that at one point can be seen as vain or useless, which which can produce a lot of resentment and frustration.

5. The instrumental relationship based on lies

This is a type of toxic relationship in which the partner is seen as a means of filling a existential void or crisis, to obtain the approval of others or to have access to certain resources, and in which deceives the other person about the nature of the emotional ties that have been created between the two parts.

It may also be the case that the person is not fully aware of the real motivations that lead him to continue with the relationship.

6. Fear-based relationships

Of course, relationships in which there is clear abuse based on aggressions (physical or verbal) and afraid For the couple to retaliate if they learn of certain things is not only a toxic relationship, but a serious threat whose resolution must be managed through the judicial system.