Negative thoughts when faced with discomfort: what sense do they have?

It is our day to day in the consultation that, suffer from depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress or stress work, all the people who ask us for help have negative or unpleasant thoughts about themselves themselves. These thoughts are of the type "I am not doing enough", "I am stupid", "I can not get it", and so on.

The school of positive psychology sends this message, "if you think well, you will feel good", as a mantra that, if you do not take into account the context and your circumstances, will fulfill the purpose of being happy. Although this school has evolved and currently has very valuable references, The idea persists in a large part of the population that unpleasant thoughts should not be allowed in and, automatically the transformation has to be towards thoughts of value towards oneself. Given this, it is worth asking: if you do not allow the unpleasant to flow, how do you get to transform it?

In this article, I will discuss the functions of negative thoughts and considerations about when to pay attention to them and when to seek professional help in this regard. In one sentence the answer would be, you always have to pay attention.

• Related article: "The 9 types of thinking and their characteristics"

Negative thoughts and brain anatomy

Thoughts are generated in the prefrontal cortex, one of the most specialized areas of the human brain. Every thought tries to manage an emotion, which is born as an unstoppable cascade from deeper areas of the brain, specifically the limbic system. This means that first we feel and then we think. As Benjamin Libet said, "800 milliseconds before making a decision electrical potentials have been triggered in limbic areas of the brain."

Faced with unpleasant feelings (anger, guilt, sadness, fear ...), the rational brain needs to interpret what has happened, and it needs its time. Of course, part of the thinking will be directed to "What have I done to solve the problem?" That's where these thoughts make their appearance; that is, if feelings are not channeled or resolved, the interpretation itself will be of the type "I am not capable" and self-deprecating messages will appear.

Although this article focuses on negative thoughts towards oneself, it is important to highlight that the same happens when negative and automated thoughts are directed towards others or the world. The difference would be that the tint of the message would no longer be permeated with fear or guilt, but with anger or resentment. In short, it is important to learn to separate the perception of ourselves from that of others or the world.

Language constructs a reality, but it also represents it

If we keep fixated on a way of speaking or thinking, this usually modifies our perception and, all information that enters us (what we see, hear, feel) will be conditioned by that way of speaking or thinking.

If, for example, your way of thinking is "everything goes wrong, I don't do anything right", the moment you develop a successful activity, your own perceptual system will give it the check mark in which "you have been lucky", not in the ability personal. This way of thinking and perceiving reality makes learning difficult to grow and develop.

It is also true that the environmental situation is important and that we do not always make good decisions when interacting with it, so that negative thoughts there can become a very interesting analysis of the type "what should change so that it does not happen new?". Returning to the previous example, if in the face of a failure in a task, you distinguish that lack of time and pressure from others has played a role in that feeling of failure, it will be easier for you to separate "what I am capable of doing" from what "I have been able to do".

• You may be interested: "Rumination: the annoying vicious circle of thought"

When bad thoughts are functional

When there is mental flexibility, you allow yourself to learn from mistakes and you let unpleasant thoughts flow about yourself that help you learn and not whip you.

For you to develop this flexibility it is important to have an intimate and safe space (at home, in town, in the mountain, etc.) where you can clear yourself and give yourself that time of reflection, which is also love you Learning must lead to satisfaction, even if the road is paved and rough.

When bad thoughts are dysfunctional

When there is mental rigidity, you can be like an iron beam, trying in any way that nothing can bend or weaken you. The problem is when something or someone manages to "bend" you and one of two, or it is very difficult and painful to return to straighten up, or you experience a "glass break" effect, feeling that you are divided into a thousand pieces and lose the hope.

As we have said before about language, everything is conditioned, or you are hard, or you isolate yourself so that you do not break. From that point of view it is very difficult to give yourself a chance again.

If the thoughts block you, they repeat themselves incessantly, they do not allow you to learn, and even the same situation that generates the problem appears again and again without changes, it is time to call a professional and ask help.

Author: Juan Fernández-Rodríguez Labordeta, psychologist in Rising Therapeutics.