10 pillars of a healthy self-esteem

What is self esteem? Some say that it is the fact of having to feel like the best, others say that it is something negative, since they feel terrible when they think about it, and others say that it is a balance between how we value ourselves based on how others value us the rest.

For me, self-esteem is a relationship of friendship with ourselves, in which we accept our limits in order to be who we are without being afraid of what they will say, so it has a great relationship with safety.

I would also say that self-esteem is empathy with ourselves, understanding that we are that child who one day grew up and that we have to accept and help, but be careful, never overprotect.

• Related article: "Need for approval: what is it and how can it become a problem"

The pillars of healthy and balanced self-esteem

Surely many times you have experienced uncomfortable situations that have brought you discomfort. These situations often occur because of how the actions of others affect us, but in many others they are due to how you have interpreted the stimuli that come from outside.

Focus on it for a moment and think about the image you have of yourself and, above all, ask yourself how others see you. If the answer to this has to do with a negative view of who you are, it would be good to rethink your self-esteem and read the advice that I am going to give you below.

As you see i have prepared a series of tricks or tips that can be useful to put into practice a healthy self-esteem. I would like you to take them seriously so that I can practice them. Without further ado I leave you with them, I hope they are of your use.

1. Understand the other knowing that we may not be understood

Many times we understand others, but other times they will contradict us. This does not mean that our opinion is worseSimply that we are putting ourselves below the opinion of others, although in reality ours is at the same height. Please: don't underestimate your opinion!

2. Knowing how to be with ourselves:

Are you alone and do you feel abandoned? Can't find your reason for being? Well, this is something that means that you may have low self-esteem. To be happy being with yourself, I recommend learn new hobbies, meet people, or make different plans.

3. Know how to say no

It is important not to be forced to say yes to everything. With this you will know that you have your rights and you can take control of your life. Saying that you don't affirm your position and also choose, so you will feel that you decide for you.

• You may be interested in: "Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication"

4. Be real

And I'm not talking about saying things without any kind of filter, I'm just talking about do things and decide based on your taste. I want that at every moment of the day, when you are with your friends, you can say your opinion without problems or fear of causing discomfort, always starting from education, obviously.

5. Respect for others and oneself

Respect the other person, but above all respect yourself. I want you to get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you are going to treat yourself well and you are going to have patience with you. The message we send ourselves is important; In the end, our voice is the one we hear the most throughout the day.

6. Have freedom and give freedom

And this has to do with your selfishness. You have to be aware that the people around you have the right to choose their plans and you have to have it too. It is important to see how many times we feel bad if our partner makes a different plan or our friend decides to take the liberty of disconnecting a few days from the phone. They are in his right, and you have to accept it.

7. Hear

Have you ever tried to listen to the other person without speaking until they shut up? If you haven't tried it, what are you waiting for? Many times we carry out a dialogue centered on ourselves that does not generate anything positive.. Stop looking at your belly button and listen a little more to others, but of course without forgetting about yourself.

8. Take care of our energy

We have little, and we must be safe from energy vampires or toxic people. Never meet someone you don't feel like doing something.

9. Not wanting to change the other and accept it

Not everyone is going to like you, so you can't change them. It is important that you simply choose who to open up with and with whom you can be friends or not.

10. Be responsible, not blame, or punish ourselves for what happens

Stop thinking that you are to blame for everything or do second readings like my in-laws dislike me when you don't even know it. There you are responsible for talking to them and asking them how they feel and if what you did that day made them feel bad.

Learning to relate better to yourself

A very good tip is that always choose any action that involves positive feelings and that will raise your self-esteem up.

Simply, think that you have to put the positive to attract the positive and above all trust in good actions. But beware: it is useless to think that you are going to do something positive and then receive something; It is a mistake, that is called doing something in exchange for X and it will only bring you misunderstanding, If you do something, do not do it to expect nothing in return and so you can have greater self-realization.

Let's put an end to self-esteem problems

My name is Javier Ares and in addition to treating depression, anxiety or relationship problems in many patients, I am also a specialist in social skills.

Do not hesitate to contact me through my WhatsApp or social networks to be able to start working on the reason that creates problems for you.