The 10 signs to identify a toxic person

In other articles we have addressed the reality of toxic people, those individuals who, despite the fact that they usually do not have bad intentions, manage to bring out the worst version of those around them.

However... What are the signs that help us recognize toxic behaviors or toxic people? Let's see it next.

• Related article: "What is social psychology?"

What characterizes toxic people?

I am not very supportive as a psychologist of label people, and less when these labels are negative. In fact, it seems that the concept of "toxic person" has appeared in certain types of literature as a form of catalog the personality of certain individuals, and it is rarely explained that character and habits can be change.

Therefore, a person can cause discomfort to those close to him under certain circumstances, but never make the mistake of thinking that toxic people cannot change. We can all change, absolutely everyone. Someone may even consider you a toxic person, so you have to relativize this label and give it a meaning again, to help us escape from situations that make us suffer, but not as a way to despise or stigmatize someone.

Toxic Personality - Sometimes it's worth walking away

Who hasn't had a cynical boss, obnoxious co-worker, or brother-in-law who keeps telling us what to do? Dealing with toxic people can be unavoidable in certain contexts. But what we can control is how we deal with their behaviors.

If we do not act with due precautions, negative people they can influence us and make us feel bad. In addition, we may accumulate tension and stress from having to live with them. More than enough reasons to try to get rid of this psychological burden.

Here I propose nine signs that should alert you that a toxic person is consuming you. The time has come to put black on white, because no one has the right to make you feel bad.

1. You talk a lot about the toxic person

If you notice that you are continually complaining to your co-workers about how manipulative your office boss is or complaining to your partner about how bad your mother-in-law makes you feel at family gatherings, you should know that this attitude vto mentally exhaust you, and of course it will not help improve the situation.

Talking about the toxic person over and over again only gets decrease your self-esteem and give it more importance than it really has. You are not going to solve anything by thinking about it, and perhaps you will start to be annoying for those who must listen to your constant wailing.

2. Makes you lose your papers

If your day to day is being affected by an expert manipulator or by people who criticize you behind your back, you should know that toxic individuals can affect your emotional balance. You must be careful, because it is easy for them to cause you frustration and even anger. If this happens, it is time to take action and fix the problem.

3. Your self esteem suffers

Toxic people are often rude, rude, and can be very offensive and annoying. Sometimes their degrading treatment of you can make you feel bad, but remember that your value as a person should never be subordinated to opinions (and much less to insults and harassment) from someone other than yourself.

4. You blame them for your behavior or attitude

If a toxic person manages to make you go through their hoop and manipulate you, It can happen that you constantly blame that person for the decisions you make and for everything bad that happens to you. If you think the toxic person is to blame for everything, reconsider the situation. Maybe you just blame him to shirk your responsibility. It is your life, and if there is someone who has so much power over you, the best thing is that you try to walk away and start accepting the responsibility you have for your own destiny.

5. You fear having the toxic person around

If you are horrified to think that you should spend time with that person, there is no doubt that, at least for you, that individual is toxic and has the ability to create a strong discomfort. If just anticipating that you are going to have to meet that toxic partner in a meeting now you start to have negative feelings, it is an unequivocal sign that something has to change in your lifetime.

6. You lower yourself to their level

When someone drives you out of your boxes constantly, you may be tempted to step into the rag and start confronting him. This will cause you to start having reactive attitudes and behaviors that are probably not in line with your personal values. Falling into the toxic person game may be inevitable if it takes us to an extreme, but it is not the way to resolve the situation. In fact, you will likely only make things worse and become more desperate.

7. It prevents you from being relaxed and comfortable

When we are besieged by people who manipulate us or use twisted strategies to demotivate us, there may come a point where we feel in a state of constant tension and worry. Y when we are restless, it is easier for things to go wrong. If you can't keep a cool head and relativize the situation, the toxic person will eat you up. That is why it is important that you achieve emotional distance from the source of toxicity.

8. You react with dysfunctional coping mechanisms

When we live in a permanent state of tension, we can react negatively. For example, to mitigate the restlessness we feel, we can indulge in some unhealthy "whims", such as having a drink of alcohol once in a while or eating too much. It is an insane way to cut off the feeling of anxiety, Y leads you to a vicious circle from which it will be very difficult to get out.

9. Your partner is emotionally affected too

The toxic person may be something like an authority figure (a boss, a teacher, your father or mother…) that you cannot question. If it happens that he humiliates you and your level of emotional exhaustion increases, you can make the mistake of transferring your focus of discomfort to our partner, children or family. The Bad mood It is contagious, and if you let the toxic person contaminate you, it is possible that you become a toxic person for our closest you and make people who are not at fault suffer.

10. Look for the showdown

Many people have as an incentive to socialize precisely to seek confrontation to have the opportunity to show their superiority to the person subjected to their attacks. In these cases, obviously, we can say that we are dealing with a toxic person, so there is no reason to continue extending those social interactions.

Manage the presence of toxic people in your life

If toxic people are bringing out the worst version of you, it will be necessary for you to consider some kind of change in your life.

This can happen by a simple change of mentality: not to enter the cloth of their manipulative games or to ignore their presence, for example. In other cases, the best decision may be to get away from this focus of negativity and bad mood before it ends up seriously affecting you.

Bibliographic references:

• Skeem, Jennifer L.; Polaschek, Devon L. L.; Patrick, Christopher J.; Lilienfeld, Scott O. (2011). Psychopathic Personality. Psychological Science in the Public Interest. 12 (3): pp. 95 - 162.
• Trnka, R.; Balcar, K.; Kuška, M.; Hnilica, K. (2012). Neuroticism and Valence of Negative Emotional Concepts. Social Behavior and Personality: An International Journal. 40 (5): pp. 843 - 844.