Why do we dream of our ex-partners?

Why do we dream of our ex-partners even though it has been a long time since the relationship was broken? What is the cause of the return of said torment?

Many times in the morning you have woken up, to your regret, thinking about your ex. This is because previously, at night, you have dreamed of your old partner. But, what is the cause of us dreaming about our ex-partners? A priori we believe that we have not overcome it, but in reality there are many more explanations that are worth being aware of in order not to blame ourselves.

Through this article I invite you to reflect on why we dream of your ex partner so that you understand, the mysterious (or not so mysterious ...) meaning of dreaming about your ex.

Dreams: the importance of the unconscious

In dream reality our unconscious is revealed; the subconscious tells us about some aspects of our life and of ourselves that we cannot (or do not know how to) solve when we are awake.

Looking at the details ...

As I have previously implied, The fact of dreaming about your ex-partner does not mean that you still have feelings for her or him

. It is a fairly common fact that while we sleep we project the image of that person who was part of your life without this being linked to an emotional attachment. To realize this, it is vitally important to analyze the details of the dream (what you felt towards him or her, if something happened between the two of you or not, etc).

Be careful not to take dreams at face value!

Dreams are symbolic, their meaning is never literal and, therefore, They are not the reflection of a reality that is faithful to ours (although there are certain elements that are).

For example, if you have dreamed that you were kissing your ex partner, it does not mean that you are still in love but that you probably have the need to be loved and that need is materialized in your ex partner, in a way because our unconscious takes the lived references through our experience. In summary; We cannot evoke what we have not experienced, it would be absurd and not very pragmatic in order to solve our problems.

I want to stop dreaming about that person and I can't!

Another reason why we dream of an ex is because either we are not well with our current partner or we are not satisfied with our single life.

These dreams are associated with positive feelings and emotions (love, tenderness, etc.) but always with a background of melancholy that manifests itself upon waking. Although both situations are apparently different, they have in common that the subconscious is showing us that we have emotional and love deficiencies; it would be appropriate for you to begin to value yourself and surround yourself with people who love you.

Pending accounts…

Another of the most common reasons why we dream and think with an ex-partner is that tensions remained unresolved. When a relationship ends badly or when you haven't had a moment to express your emotions and thoughts, dreams may form in form of mild nightmares, nightmares that want to tell us that we have a pending talk with our ex-partner and that they will not disappear until we talk with him / her. So now you know, be brave and face the ghost of your ex!

Old demons in the form of romantic thoughts

Insecurity may be another cause, especially when you are starting a new relationship where a similar context exists with respect to when you were with your ex-partner. Our mind is sensitive to stimuli and memory will repeat the memories you lived with your ex when associating them with the new relationship.

If when you dream of your ex you are sad, you experience anger or any other negative emotion, it means that we feel insecurity and / or fear of starting with our new partner. We weigh the possibility that we will make the mistakes of the past again and of course... we do not want to repeat this situation. In a way, it is a wake-up call from the unconscious so as not to make the same mistakes again. It is not something negative, being aware of it we can have the full will to change things.

I am an assasin?

A common but quite macabre dream is that we murder our ex-partner. Don't worry, that doesn't mean you're a psychopath. This dream just means that everything that united you with your ex has metaphorically died, and that therefore you are ready to start a new relationship.

One possible way anxiety is expressed

When we suffer from anxiety or stress and we are not with our partner, we can evoke dreaming of our ex to feel supported. Relationships are a matter of two, if you are going through a bad time it is normal for your mind to evoke a substitute for your partner so that you can feel better. It's a deception of the psyche.

Definitely: dreams are not always a direct reflection of our existence (but they are always an indirect reflection that advises us) and we don't always have a good perception of them. To learn from dreams it is necessary to pay attention and not give them more importance than they really have from an emotional point of view. So you know, take on your ex-partners!