5 ways to express more affection to the person you love

If something has become clear after decades of scientific research in the field of Psychology, it is that It is one thing to think something and another totally different thing to do it. Even if we totally trust the truth of a statement, for example, we can behave in a totally incongruous way with it, as if we do not believe it to be true.

An example would be the habit of smoking: we know that the disadvantages of using tobacco far outweigh the benefits, and yet we continue to smoke. The same happens even if there is no chemical addiction involved: we know that we should go to the gym, but we hardly go even if we pay for it every month.

Our love lives are often full of the same kinds of inconsistencies. Sometimes we know that we love the other person, and yet we hardly ever let them know or, when we try, we fail. We simply do not know where to begin to improve the health of the relationship through such forms of expression of love. Learn to express more affection for the person we love it can be challenging.

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Why is it hard for us to show love?

In many ways, what we do in a relationship basically depends on learned habits, in the same way that it happens in the rest of the areas of our lives. Romantic relationships or relationships in which there is simply love (for example, mother-child) are not hermetic spaces totally separated from the rest of our experiences, and that means that we come to them with certain beliefs and expectations about what it means to have partner.

Sometimes, when we begin to bond emotionally with someone in an intimate way and loving, we already do it knowing that these relationships are fundamentally between two human beings, with a wide range of emotional states and affective needs that may not always seem evident during the first hours of conversation.

However, on other occasions we enter the world of relationships without knowing how to recognize signs of affective needs or how to respond to them. In these cases, expectations about what a courtship or marriage is include a very limited range of emotions and feelings, without variety. In theory we know that our partner is a human being, but on the ground it is difficult for us to act simply in the face of their most intimate expressions. What to do in these cases? Let's see.

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How to learn to express more affection to those we love

To truly connect emotionally with someone, you need to get used to embracing all facets of what it means to be in a loving relationship. Let's see what are the main keys to achieve it.

1. Observe their concerns

A good way to establish an intimate connection with someone begins by knowing what aspects of their day-to-day life arouse their emotional reactions the most. It can be a hobby, a place, a memory... From this information it is possible to start stimulating conversations in which the conditions are given to express all kinds of feelings.

2. Avoid preconceptions

Take a few minutes to think about which beliefs you have about the other person could be based simply on prejudices that do not hold. These unwarranted ideas may have to do with that person's personality, hobbies, etc.

This exercise is used to avoid situations arising in which the other person feels misunderstood when checking that the degree of knowledge we have about it is limited, a fact that can make a true connection difficult empathic.

3. Take your time to understand what you need

Each person has different needs, knowing what they are allows rknow when and where to express affection can be received in a positive way.

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4. What is it that makes you admire that person the most?

Stopping to think about this question is perfect for communicating the affection or love we feel for someone. It is a way in which we can order our feelings and put words to them, so that that feeling take a form understandable to the other person And therefore, you can appreciate that act of communication as something that will not only reinforce your self-esteem, but also says a lot about us.

5. Detect sensitive areas and taboos

No one is perfect, and it is possible that the other person has certain “forbidden” topics or that they are not comfortable dealing with. Ideally, these taboos and self-imposed limits do not existBut since they are there, you have to let the other person decide how and with whom to cross these thresholds. That is why when carrying out intimate communicative acts with someone, one must take into account in an approximate way what is the comfort zone that you have to try to respect.