Fears in today's society: should we control them?

During the last two decades, andThe rhythm of life in society has accelerated greatlySo much so that it could be said that the philosophy of the current human being has become one of achieving all kinds of objectives immediately, whether of a material or non-tangible nature.

At first glance, this significant level of motivation to achieve a (supposed) greater well-being (a better job, a perfect family or partner, enviable leisure activities, the maximum number of friends or contacts on social networks, etc.). However, when the balance between such motivation and excess of self-demand, all this can lead to the opposite effect: the ongoing fears and worries.

• You may be interested: "The physiological and psychological bases of fear"

Fear and control

In her work, Guix (2006) notes the close link between the existence of fears and the need to control the different personal aspects that make up the life of the individual, establishing a direct relationship between the two: the greater the desire for control, the more fears, worry and anxiety.

It seems that, internally, the obligation to "arrive" at everything proposed and of not being able to "fail" in any of the projects started.

Is it good to be afraid?

The answer is clearly yes. Fear is defined as being one of the most necessary primary emotions for survival, therefore highly functional. In the past, this reaction allowed wild creatures to escape by activating the organism and mobilizing it for flight.

Today, having evolved the context, the human being you still need a warning system for potential hazards whose main exponent is the human being himself. Thus, the emotion fear should be understood as a natural and adaptive phenomenon. What is truly relevant, the key point where attention should fall, is in the management of that reaction and how the management of said fear occurs.

Guix (2006) defends that man has adopted the wrong strategy of exercising control as the main mechanism in dealing with concerns. This methodology has several drawbacks, since the control can be done relatively easily on "Things", but it is not so easy to carry out the same process when other people are involved, such as for example occurs in the field of social relations.

When the rest of the people who in the immediate context do not respond as one would expect, a fear reaction occurs, among other emotions. This usually leads clearly to the development of a feeling of mistrust which whose dent in the individual directly or indirectly conditions other present and future interpersonal relationships.

Due to this, such a subject adopts such distrust as a defense mechanism against the appearance of suffering, ceasing to be aware of his incipient emotional estrangement from his gradually growing social environment.

• Related article: "What is fear for?"

Fear vs. Safety or Comfort (Control)

Exercising a certain level of control can be beneficial as makes it possible to increase self-confidence; the fact of preserving a certain order in the different life facets is related to a selfconcept positive.

Control generates a sense of security, since it is usually linked to a psychological state of comfort, a state of comfort. However, by adopting this type of philosophy, the individual will have increasingly the need to control more aspects to maintain this level of subjective security, being immersed in an endless and infinite escalation of sources of concern that will require to be mastered immediately.

It seems obvious to think that the greater the security will, the greater is the fear of their loss. Thus, uncertainty (the difference between expectation and reality) is no longer a tolerable phenomenon and becomes an entity to be avoided at all costs. The problem lies in the impossibility of eliminating said uncertainty, since it is something intrinsic to becoming, to future time, as defended by Nardone (2012), an expert psychologist in the matter.

Choosing philosophy of life

For all the above, the individual has to choose between both alternatives: opt for comfort or opt for overcoming fears and concerns.

Input, the first option emotionally relieves the subject, since that unpleasant feeling such as fear or discomfort is avoided. However, choosing this path in the long term leads to greater psychological discomfort. On the other hand, the second option, more complex to put into practice, does manage to break the fear-control-anxiety-avoidance spiral mentioned.

To achieve this goal they must modify core beliefs, behavior patterns learned and generalized attitudes towards the object source of said fear.

Types of fears

Guix (2007) in his work distinguishes between real fears (when there is a real threat to physical survival, for example being trapped in a fire) and psychological fears (where psychological survival is the one that is compromised, for example the fear of flying by plane). The latter can be classified into:

• Constructed fears, based on mentally elaborated social emotions.
• Remembered fears, reactions derived from past experiences.
• Existential fears, relating to life and death.
• Fears of the unconscious.

They all have in common that possess an object on which they refer, an object that is known and that fears getting lost, be it a Relationship to which it belongs (regardless of whether it is satisfactory or not), the preservation of life before a car accident or any other circumstance that could put it in danger.

The first two are more closely related to the ability of the human being to create something initially non-existent, which ends up living as something real, as something that is truly happening.

Overcome insecurity

Below you can see a series of reflections and indications that Guix (2006) proposes in his work as antidote measures against the virus of fear and worries:

1. Self-knowledge

The first step to take is to ask yourself whether or not you want to overcome these fears. Although it seems an obvious question, one of the main obstacles that the individual must overcome is choose the desire to face your own fears. It may be the case, however, that the person prefers to subtract in his comfort zone (the fact of staying in her already known fears) avoiding exploring herself.

This self-knowledge means and implies uncertainty ("Will I be able to handle what I am going to discover?" Or "Do I want to make the effort to change?"). The decision between taking the path between safety and fearlessness is one of the most costly and determining barriers to overcome.

2. Identification of fears

Another of the reflections that should be carried out refers to learning to identify what type of fear (or fears) are present and what role they are fulfilling in the person's life in question. The fact of getting that fear to stop being functional is another basic milestone in the process.

3. Balancing "doing" with "being"

It is worth reflecting on what kind of aspects have the greatest impact on the emotional well-being of the human being: the instrumental-material or rather the spiritual-intangible. For this, it is essential reverse the principles on which the current social organization is based, capitalism, downplaying achievements and competitiveness to give them to aspects related to being and life in community.

4. Acceptance and tolerance of uncertainty

The belief that everything is under control it's nothing but a mentally constructed illusion to generate peace: it is only a belief, not a reality, and that can generate frustration.

This has the advantage that, being something made by oneself, it could be disassembled in the same way as it was created. However, the fact that this belief was precisely homegrown, causes greater complexity to the individual in the company of eliminating it. That is, it could be said that the person ends up becoming fond of their own beliefs, even if these are maladaptive.

On the other hand, it seems necessary to embrace tolerance to the unknown and to becoming, as something natural and intrinsic to man's life. And this combined with the limitation in setting excessive expectations about such uncertainty. Finally, the acceptance of oneself as being that can (and "should") make mistakes, the permission to fail or "not arrive ", becomes another of the core beliefs that must be worked on in combination with the above.

Bibliographic references:

• Guix, X. (2007): Get out of control! Ed. Granica: Barcelona.

• Nardone, G. (1995): Fear, panic, phobias. Ed. Herder: Barcelona.

• Nardone, G., De Santis, G and Salvat Farré, P. (2012): I think, then I suffer. Ed. Paidós: Barcelona.