The differences between self-esteem and narcissism

Sometimes you have to add value to life: at work, on a date, an interview, a conversation whose subject matter we do not master... Some would even say that it is inherent to the mischievous character Mediterranean.

It is clear that for this we must have a certain self-esteem, that is, appreciation for oneself. But... where is it located the limit between having a good self-esteem and being a narcissist? Is it really the problem of our current society?

• Related article: "Low selfsteem? When you become your worst enemy”

The fine line between self-esteem and narcissism

In short, narcissism is self-esteem raised to the highest power; the excessive admiration you feel for your physical appearance, qualities or gifts.

Egocentrism, related to the above (although It's not exactly the same), is the paranoia of the narcissist; Such is the admiration you feel for yourself that you think you are the center of all other people's attention and concern.

These two psychological phenomena seem to describe what happens to many people, but for those who are not familiar with the subject it is good to note

the differences between narcissism and self-esteem.

The difference between narcissism and self-esteem is that the former involves the denial of the value of others, who are reduced to mere providers of attention and fame. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is what makes us feel good about ourselves as integrated beings in a society full of perfectly valid human beings.

But... Doesn't the passage of time transform our self-esteem into narcissism through the use of new technologies?

• You may be interested: "Narcissistic Personality Disorder: What Are Narcissistic People Like?"

The evolution of narcissism

Adolescence is a stage of revolution, among other things, hormonal, which leads us to have ups and downs of self-esteem. Hopefully, after this time, we will have managed to come out of it unscathed and with a regular level of self-esteem.

This set of perceptions, thoughts and evaluations of ourselves will undoubtedly affect how we see the world around us.

According to some theories, we build our self-esteem based on the social acceptance of our peers. But there comes a time when someone's ego, perhaps ours, becomes extremely inflated, and stands out; he loves himself excessively and is superior to everything else.

Currently there are several articles who blame technologies, or rather the misuse we make of them as direct makers of narcissists, but weren't there narcissists before the internet?

The cult of the ego

The cult of ourselves, the body or the mind according to the time, has existed for a long time.

Let's start from the narcissistic word that comes from the myth of Narcissus, existing in both Greek and Roman mythology. It tells of a handsome young man who stole the heart of every woman and who, to anger whom he should not have, ended up drowned in water because he was in love with his own reflection.

The problem has therefore existed since ancient times; what has changed are the elements of the game. He has given us for the "selfies", get many "likes", have many photos and many friends, followers... Even those who we write on this website, do we not enjoy proportionally the times that our Article?

Probably everyone, one way or another, we sin at times of having the ego primed. However, it is easier to see the straw in someone else's eye.

Actually, the only thing we can blame on the Internet is that it has made it easier for us, and more universal. Now I can boast of having tons of friends without having to work or nurture those relationships, just in case a "like" from time to time. I can show others, my hundreds of "friends", how happy I am with my life, my partner, my job, what handsome that I'm natural (with mobile applications that correct, increase, decrease and cover, of course this). Ultimately, it's easy because I choose what to show.

The reality is that we live in a frenzy of capitalism and liberal economics, where we confuse happiness with consumerism, and this is consuming us. Still, the possibility of crossing the line from self-esteem to self-centeredness and narcissism existed before any social network. If not, ask Donald trump; That is a good example of what it is to love yourself excessively.

The neural circuits of egocentricity

Internally, these little moments of pseudo-happiness that we get from adoring ourselves too much and giving it to meet in the networks, activate the brain reward center as well as sex, eating, generosity...

And, after all, what gives meaning to our existence, what moves and motivates us from the most biological and basic point of view is the reward and the pleasure. How we achieve it will continue to vary: now it is fashionable to pose in photos and put a filter on my plate of pasta, but maybe hopefully tomorrow we'll try altruism and generosity as a reward mechanism cerebral.

We must take care of the "child" that we carry inside, but that does not mean stuffing him with sweets.