Have a serene and happy relationship: how to achieve it?

Today I would like to talk to you about an issue that worries my patients a lot, and that is one of the most important issues for human beings when it comes to being happy.

A priori we can think that as rational beings that we are, we give great importance to the decisions we make from a purely rational point of view. However, we are much more emotional than we think, and we move by feelings, emotions, and sometimes by impulses, in most cases.

For this reason, sometimes it is important to sit down for a moment, reflect and analyze aspects of our life that we may want to change or improve. In this case, I am referring to relationships with a couple, and the perfect formula to maintain a serene, healthy and happy relationship over time. It might seem that it is something almost like a fairy tale, and sometimes this same excessive idealization is what It prevents us from truly enjoying a relationship and having expectations that are often unattainable.

• Related article: "The 6 habits of strong relationships"

How to have a serene and happy relationship with your partner

In my experience and my point of view, a large part of couple conflicts arise from not knowing how to manage differences in personality, differences in values ​​or lifestyles. Over the years, in addition, routine, passivity, lack of common projects, etc. can be united. If there comes a time when we begin to ask ourselves the "I want or don't want the other person", the "I am happy or not", or the "I I feel comfortable or not ", and we began to answer to everything that no, is that we have a problem, and we have to face he.

Problems generally don't go away on their own, so we will have to do our best to fix them. I would like to give some guidelines in case you are at this point. As in the case of patients who come to my office with relationship problems; After carefully studying each case, I like to give a series of personalized instructions, as homework, and that they try to put them into practice little by little.

These keys are based primarily on an improvement in attitude, empathy, proactivism, and positive vision.

1. Communication and understanding are the first step

First of all, both of you have to sit down, with time, in a relaxed environment where we know that they will not bother us, with the phones turned off, and explain to the other person all our concerns: what happens to us, what we think, what we need, how we think we can solve it, etc. That is, to give a first brushstroke of what is happening, and listen to the other person to find out what they think and the needs that they also have.

Once the subject is addressed, a door opens through which we both have to walk looking for a path that we both like. Even if the other person believes that there is no problem, they always have to think that in a matter of couple you have to face the problem together, and try to understand the other person in order to move along. Assume the situation and decide if an attempt is made to solve it or not.

2. Respect and trust

Respect and trust in the other person are fundamental, are the pillars of all personal relationships, and in the case of a couple, even more. The other person has to be a pillar on which to lean when you need it, and vice versa.

There has to be enough trust so that each one can live her life without jealousy, without control, without mistrust. If this is being lost it is important to get it back; We have to communicate more, express our concerns, our fears and that the other person also does it to dispel doubts and misunderstandings.

• You may be interested: "The types of jealousy and their different characteristics"

3. Complicity

As a couple, you have to have activities that should be done in common, enjoy things in common, and also alone as a couple. It is very important that we share hobbies, or lifestyles that allow us to enjoy the moment, of the situation, of the activity, and also with the person we love. If we no longer do things together, you have to think about what you did together before, and try to recover it, or create new motivating situations for both of you. Keep writing your love story.

4. Passion

Sex is a fundamental part of any couple, regardless of those who declare themselves asexual. For all the others, who are the vast majority, passion must not be neglected.

Sometimes, because of the years, because of the children, because of work, because of our routine, because of stress, because of fatigue, it seems that everything is much more important than sex, and we are wrong. In a relationship, it is a very important part, which brings together all the other points at the same time: communication, respect, trust, complicity, and also passion. Relaxation, sharing, talking, opening up, taking the necessary time, creating conducive atmospheres, being positive, being active, etc.

Don't let conformity and monotony conquer, take charge of your relationship and your life!

I hope I've helped.