Top 7 Causes of Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships can become toxic in many ways; in fact, the behaviors that can ruin a friendship or love relationship are practically endless in their variety.

However, in practice, it is possible to group and classify the causes of toxic relationships. In this article we will see which are the most important and how they deteriorate the emotional bonds between individuals.

• Related article: "Toxic friendships: 7 signs to spot a bad friend"

The most frequent causes after toxic relationships

These are the main triggers of toxic relationships in the field of family, friends, partner... As we will see, These are not totally independent psychological elements with clear separations between them, but in many cases they are overlap.

1. Accumulation of reproaches and arguments

The fact of having gone through various situations of arguments and misunderstandings that have led to adopting a defensive attitude is already one of the causes of toxic relationships.

In other words, the “toxicity” in a relationship is self-perpetuating, by generating

a snowball effect for which neither of the two people (or more) involved in those fights wants to expose their vulnerabilities and tends to interpret what the other is doing as an indication that he will return to the load with new accusations, reproaches, etc.

Of course, this has a solution, but it is difficult to break this dynamic if something is not done to break this inertia.

• You may be interested in: "12 tips to better manage couple arguments"

2. Psychopathic personality traits

The psychopathy It can be summed up as the tendency not to give importance to interests and desires, and not to empathize. It is one of the aspects of the personality, so is reflected in all areas of the individual's life, and remains more or less stable over time, although in certain circumstances it can increase (for example, in a context of war) or weaken (for example, going to therapy).

Here it is necessary to remember that psychopathy is not a psychological phenomenon that is present only in a very small percentage of the population. population, in people unable to empathize with the rest and who tend to see others as mere tools to achieve their own purposes.

Although in most cases they speak above all of "psychopaths" and individuals with tendencies antisocial so marked that their stories are shocking (serial killers, scammers, etc.), psychopathy is actually a spectrum of behaviors, a matter of degrees. Thus, it can be said that even the kindest people have certain psychopathic character traits, although be very subtle and practically do not cause problems in the way you interact with the rest of society.

In short, the more marked an individual's tendency to psychopathy, the more likely they are to transform their personal relationships into toxic ones.

• Related article: "The main theories of personality"

3. Jealousy

This is one of the causes of toxic relationships that most influence the dynamics of life as a couple, both in courtships and marriages.

Jealousy is associated with a need for control over the other person that, in case of not being able to be satisfied, generates frustration and even makes some individuals try to emotionally manipulate their partner so that they feel guilty for exercising her freedom.

In the most extreme cases, jealousy goes hand in hand with psychopathic personality traits, since that the other person is seen as a tool that must conform to one's wishes in everything moment.

• You may be interested in: "9 keys to understanding jealousy and learning to overcome it"

4. Envy

Envy can have serious implications for both friendship and romantic relationships. Seeing one's dignity as an attack that things go well for the other not only generates discomfort and frustration; In addition, it can unconsciously make those who feel envy try to underestimate what the other person does or even encourage her to throw in the towel by teasing, reproaching, etc.

5. Fear of officially breaking up

The fear of breaking up is present in many relationships, but also in certain friendships. The idea of ​​giving up dealing with people who have meant a lot to us is painful, and for that reason, it is a step that many prefer to avoid, since it would generate more immediate discomfort than the option of continuing to give opportunities at that specific moment.

In this cause of toxic relationships, social pressure can also play an important role. For example, this may lead some people not to dare to break up with their partner because that would make their parents sad, or because everyone believes that their relationship is happy and the person believes that ending it would make them believe that they have been pretending all this time, etc.

• Related article: "How to overcome a break of couple?"

6. Attempts to adapt to gender roles and expectations

This cause of toxic relationships is related to the previous one, and has to do with the roles imposed by society.

Sometimes these invite people to feel bad if they don't fit certain stereotypes in their relationships. For example: the man cannot need more emotional support than the woman, the woman must adopt a conformist attitude regarding her work expectations and prioritize the family ...

• You may be interested in: "5 examples of gender roles (and their effects on society)"

7. Need to be alone

Certain life problems can only be faced alone, or at least, require that the person have moments alone to organize their ideas and manage her emotions.

The inability to dispose of these moments can cause your relationships to deteriorateas these individuals become overwhelmed and irritable.

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