5 strategies to overcome the lack of communication in the couple
If communication is a key element in all types of relationships, in the case of couple relationships, they are even more so. However, it is relatively frequent that with the passage of time and the maturation of a courtship or marriage, the lack of communication is installed in the coexistence.
Therefore, in the following lines we will explore different strategies to address and overcome miscommunication problems in a relationship, so that this stops being an element that erodes the affective bond.
- Related article: "The 5 benefits of assertive communication in personal relationships"
The most frequent problems due to lack of communication in relationships
There are very different ways in which a communication deficit can be consolidated in a couple relationship. Furthermore, the origin of these dysfunctional communication patterns also give rise to different types of miscommunication.
In any case, knowing how to recognize the extent of this discomfort generated by poor communication is necessary to understand where that couple's "crisis" begins and ends and, from there, think about solutions.
Considering that, the most common types of relationship problems due to lack of communication are the following.
- Appearance of taboo topics that both people avoid
- Adoption of a passive attitude based on reporting only what is important from an instrumental point of view (doing household chores, seeking material support from the other person ...)
- Poor management of discussions that lead to not being able to calmly deal with certain topics
- Lack of time together
- Problems originating outside the relationship that "absorb" a good part of people's energy
- You may be interested in: "The 5 types of couples therapy"
Tips to manage and overcome the lack of communication in relationships
When it comes to properly managing these kinds of problems in a marriage or courtship, It is very important to adapt the possible solutions proposed to the causes that have produced this situation..
In other words, unfortunately there are no infallible magic recipes that will work 100% of the time, given that what in one case can be an effective solution, in other cases it may not contribute anything or even be a hindrance. And that is why, among other things, that to address this type of crisis that affects a love relationship, the ideal is to go to the psychologist for personalized attention.
However, there are some guidelines that serve as a guide to explore possible solutions, starting from a general picture of the most frequent causes of lack of communication. So, keep these key ideas in mind to face and overcome the problematic dynamics that have arisen due to a lack of communication in your relationship with your partner, although first consider whether they are adapted to your case; you don't have to use them all.
1. Re-organize time from consensus
As we have seen, a good part of the problems due to lack of communication in a marriage or courtship are a consequence of the lack of time together. However, many times this lack of hours of free time in which to be with the other person can be solved without making great sacrifices, simply looking for “assemblage points” between the two and reformulating the schedules of each one.
It is surprising to see the number of couples who suffer unnecessarily from these types of problems simply by not proposing to talk about it with the other person, by assuming that it is she who can only live according to that schedule.
- Related article: "Time management: 13 tips to take advantage of the hours of the day"
2. Learn to give constructive criticism
A very good way to make conversations more stimulating and not associated with the risk of going through frustrating situations when you disagree is to stop criticizing the person and move on to criticizing their actions.
In this way, we will not encourage them to become defensive and at the same time they will have a greater predisposition to correct their behavior. And, furthermore, this will help to stop making arguments amount to shouting and fighting to see who has the right reason, something important, because these dynamics lead many people to try not to speak in everything that could be a conflict.
- You may be interested in: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"
3. Develop a hobby together
The fact of starting to participate in a hobby together makes you generate more shared memories, which acts as a "hook" to generate conversation and establish new communication channels not only about issues directly associated with that activity. The important thing is to have material to talk about and through which to discover new facets, ideas, opinions and interests of the other person.
- Related article: "Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication"
4. Take advantage of the time together without distractions
Eating watching TV can be fine from time to time, but spending all the hours of the week in which you can be together reading or watching a screen it is alienating and leads to "disconnect" from the relationship.
5. Structure your work rhythm to save energy
Finally, do not forget that lack of communication can arise from sheer fatigue, which leads people not to talk to anyone in general. Introspection is a way to save energy.
To avoid this being a problem, it is very important to structure your work time very well, sleep every day the necessary hours and take short breaks to perform well and that the work does not accumulate at the end of the working day.
- You may be interested in: "Insomnia: what is its impact on our health"
Do you want to have professional psychological assistance?
If you are looking for psychological support from a professional, I invite you to contact me.
I am a psychologist specialized in the cognitive-behavioral model, with many years of experience in the care for adults and adolescents, as well as couples and, at the level of organizations, to Business. You can count on my services in person in Madrid, or through the online format by video call.
