Why do couple problems increase on vacation?

In certain couple profiles, the vacation period goes hand in hand with new sources of potential conflicts. Fortunately, knowing in advance these possible psychological factors capable of destabilizing a relationship is useful for prevent these problems, because they help to act on time and, if necessary, seek professional help in therapy for couple.

So, in this article you will find a summary of the causes about why couple problems increase on vacation.

• Related article: "Closed for vacations! The psychological need to rest "

Why can vacations contribute to the appearance of relationship problems?

There are several studies that indicate the existence of a curious phenomenon: right after the July and August vacation period, the number of divorces goes up significantly, at least in western countries.

Of course, it does not seem that vacations in themselves pose a problem for courtships and marriages, an obstacle when it comes to enjoying life as a couple. After all, there is no single way to experience vacation days, and it would be rushed assume that all people involved in romantic love relationships experience them the same mode.

Rather, what happens is that the holidays act as a catalyst for the relationship problems that were already latent, accelerating the deterioration of that bond. Let's see in more detail how this happens.

1. The beginning of the holidays enhances impulsiveness

It has been seen that the prospect of starting a vacation soon generates a predisposition to impulsive behavior, something that is It is reflected even in economic decisions and purchasing behaviors, but also in the management of relationships personal. This could also translate into a greater propensity for unilateral decisions where a prior deliberation would have been necessary, talking things over to choose what to do together. Or it could even lead people in a relationship to expose themselves more to the temptation of infidelity.

• You may be interested in: "How to control impulsivity? 8 tips that help "

2. In long-distance relationships, one begins to adapt to coexistence

Special cases such as those in a long-distance relationship experience vacations in a way that has its own characteristics.

The most important thing in situations of this type is that two people who in many cases are not used to living together for many days in a row, reach a point where they can do it by having free time... but maintaining expectations of well-being and harmony when living together that are normally the same as in a couple relationship, not a distance. They don't expect to have to adapt to the challenge of living with someone they love.But normally, they must do so through deliberate efforts, which can create a feeling of unpleasant surprise and frustration.

• Related article: "How do you know when to go to couples therapy? 5 compelling reasons "

3. If there are problems of jealousy, they are easily exacerbated

In relationships where there were already problems due to jealousy, it is very easy for the situation to get worse during the holidays. The greatest exposure to leisure activities and new social circles with whom they interact feed controlling or almost paranoid-type thoughts.

• You may be interested in: "The types of jealousy and their different characteristics"

4. Possible differences in finding time to be alone

On vacation, they highlight the differences more by preferring more or less time to be alone. This especially affects people who are in a relationship with someone quite different from them in the dimension of personality introversion. extraversion: it is much more common for introverts to prefer to spend more hours of the week alone, dedicating themselves to activities that they can do for their bill.

• Related article: "How to know if you tend towards introversion or extraversion"

5. Managing free time together tests dialogue and negotiation skills

Even if both partners have little difference in their appreciation (or not) of loneliness, still need to decide with the time they spend in the company of the other. Common interests play a role here (traveling, going to museums, going to environments with lots of nature, etc.) as well as negotiation and conflict resolution skills (to prevent them from becoming struggles).

• You may be interested in: "Time management: 13 tips to take advantage of the hours of the day"

6. Incoordination with biorhythms

On the other hand, do not forget that a lack of coordination in adjusting the “internal clock” can also be a source of problems during vacation as a couple. Waking up two or three hours apart from the other person implies "giving up" for a good part of the day.

7. Expectations for the end of the cycle

Finally, we must also bear in mind that Holidays are, for many couples, a symbol or even an end-of-cycle ritual.

There are people who hope to solve their marriage or dating problems in their two weeks of vacation, and if they don't they get for whatever reason, they automatically interpret it as a failure, a sign that this relationship is predestined failure.

• Related article: "Atkinson's Expectation-Value Theory: What It Is and What It Proposes"

Are you looking for professional psychological support?

If you are interested in having the services of a psychologist with training and experience in the field of therapy, educational psychology and / or psychological expertise, I invite you to get in touch with me.

My name is Froilán Ibáñez Recatalá and I work fundamentally from the cognitive-behavioral approach, serving adults and adolescents. The sessions are designed for individual patients or for couples going through a stage of crisis, and can be performed in person or through the online therapy format by video calls.