The 8 psychological pillars to overcome a couple breakup

Romantic breakups are sometimes very intense and painful processes that most people have gone through at some point in their lives.

There are many ways of dealing with them, both for good and for bad, and that implies that in some people can leave a very painful emotional mark due to the type of experience they have had in that process. In the most severe cases, this discomfort translates into psychological problems; This has to do with not being able to carry on with your life normally and having difficulties trying to enter into love relationships with new people.

With the aim that these ruptures do not generate such a strong impact on people's lives and can be overcome by anyone, in this article you will find a series of useful tips with which to overcome a romantic breakup.

• Related article: "6 activities typical of couples therapy"

8 fundamental tips to overcome a couple breakup

Apply these guidelines to find out how to best manage your breakup.

1. Do not lock yourself in

As in any grieving process, in a sentimental breakup

it is usually necessary to share the pain with other people, especially with the family or friends circle, which is usually also the one who has witnessed all the phases of the relationship since its inception.

Closing in on yourself and trying to overcome pain without outside help can backfire and create a much more painful situation. And it is that, with the support of the intimate circle of loved ones, the person will be able to overcome the sentimental break in a much more efficient way and in less time.

2. Accept and manage pain

The pain and suffering resulting from the breakup are perfectly normal feelings; They are a sign that in our lives there is a paradigm shift, since our day to day becomes very different, among other things. Because, the solution is not to actively try to block out those feelings.

It should be borne in mind that to overcome the breakup, we must accept negative emotions as something necessary to successfully complete the grieving process.

• You may be interested in: "Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): principles and characteristics"

3. Look into the future

The feeling of suffering and intense pain in the first weeks after the breakup is often accompanied by a great nostalgia, a constant memory of the other person and an idealization of the past with him or her.

To overcome this phase, it is best to look ahead and de-idealize the common past with the ex-partner.. This can be accomplished, for example, by noting the feelings and beliefs that come to mind when thinking about the relationship that has ended, and analyzing those ideas critically.

4. Understand the break

Sometimes it can be difficult to overcome a breakup because you do not know the causes of it, and especially if you are not the one who decided to break up with the other person.

To overcome the break in a relatively short time and finally achieve a state of well-being and emotional balance, it helps a lot to have an explanation about the factors that triggered the breakup.

But it must be done without placing emphasis on the moral aspect of what happened: it does not matter so much who was at fault what, if not what were the signs that indicated the presence of serious problems in the state of the relationship. It is positive that, from time to time, we can think about these memories in a distant way, based on describing what happened.

Doing this helps to overcome the break because it gives it a constructive component, as it moves into a situation that favors learning.

5. Accept the facts

Another aspect that emerges from the previous one is that it is essential the acceptance of the facts that have taken place in relation to that rupture. We must accept the will of the other person and ours naturally, and not try to recover it at all costs or feel bad for not wanting to be with her anymore, depending on the case.

6. Change of habits

A useful strategy is to change your habits, to fully accept the change of way of life.

The acquisition of healthy lifestyle habits related to sport and activity is especially recommended. sustained physical, since they help to get rid of intrusive thoughts and combat depressive-type symptoms and anxious.

7. Take time for yourself

Learning to be alone with yourself is essential after a romantic breakup. In addition to seeking support from friends and family, it is also important to spend time alone to find well-being in oneself, instead of desperately seeking external stimuli so as not to think about the ex partner.

This aspect is of vital importance, because only by learning that happiness begins with oneself, we will be able to find it in other people as well.

But at the same time, be careful not to isolate yourself too much; We must avoid spending long periods without hardly interacting with someone significant to us, since in a moment of psychological vulnerability, this can increase the risk of disorders psychological.

8. Go to a specialized psychologist

Whether you have been able to overcome the breakup with your ex-partner on your own or not, it is highly recommended to go to a breakup psychologist to carry out a process of self-knowledge and personal growth.

With a specialist psychologist you can obtain solutions adapted to your specific case, more effective and lasting.

Are you looking for psychological support?

If you are interested in having psychological assistance services because you suffer from emotional or behavioral problems, please contact us. On Advance Psychologists you can find the support of a team of mental health experts with 20 years of professional experience. Here you will find our contact information.

Bibliographic references:

• Dattilio, F.M. & Padesky, C.A. (2004). Cognitive therapy with couples. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.
• Lopez-Cantero, E. (2018). The Break-Up Check: Exploring Romantic Love through Relationship Terminations. Philosophia (Ramat Gan), 46 (3): pp. 689 - 703.
• Verhallen, A.M. et. to the. (2019). Romantic relationship breakup: An experimental model to study effects of stress on depression (-like) symptoms. PLoS One, 14 (5): e0217320.