6 activities typical of couples therapy

Couples therapy is much more than the conversations that take place during sessions with the psychologist. In fact, much of the progress and progress has to do with the activities that the couple performs on their own, based on the ideas and practices carried out in the presence of the therapist.

Committing to this process of reinforcing the love bond implies carrying out certain habits and exercises in the day to day. day, so that the change for the better extends to all areas of coexistence and not only to what happens in the consultation of psychology.

But… what are those actions in which both members of the couple have to get involved in their daily lives? Here we will see a summary of the typical activities of a couples therapy process, to get to know them better.

• Related article: "The 5 types of couples therapy"

Common activities in couples therapy

These are several of the habits and activities that are encouraged to carry out in couples therapy, both in the own sessions as, above all, between these, during the hours of being together performing actions everyday.

It is an approximation to what is usual in such a process, but it must be borne in mind that each case is unique and psychologists always we adapt our intervention proposals depending on the unique characteristics of each person, the relationship and the context in which both people they live.

1. Keep track of time spent together

You need to make a conscious effort to spend time together; but it must be quality time, in which each one can focus on the other person without having their head on other things. For this you have to have some control over when to do what, so that in case of problems or unforeseen events, it is possible to correct that schedule and create another moment in which to be with the other person.

It is not about constantly timing the common time, but rather about planning and making sure that during the week there are times when it is possible to be with each other.

What's more, It is recommended that these moments together have a variety of situations and experiences, since this allows to be in contact with all facets of the other person and of oneself in the context of the couple. For example, if all these moments occur at sunset and being at home, we will see a set of actions and very limited attitudes, which leads us to have a simplistic and two-dimensional view of the relationship. In couples therapy, different techniques and strategies are taught to make it easy to keep better control of time and avoid the calendar that is dragging us down.

2. Use discussion management guidelines

It would be unrealistic to expect that through couples therapy the arguments between the two of you will disappear. The key is knowing how to manage them correctly.

For this reason, psychologists who serve couples train them in a series of conflict management activities, so that do not lead to fierce confrontations or to make it appear that nothing is happening (which is as or more harmful than arguing intensely). It is about being able to express yourself, reach consensus on what the problems to be dealt with, and reach compromises to solve them.

3. Self-knowledge activities

Much of the progress made in couples therapy depends on how we manage to put our heads in order: our opinions, our interests and concerns, our values, etc. For it, psychologists teach many patients to carry out self-knowledge activities on a daily basis. Having this information about yourself allows you to achieve a better fit between the two.

4. Training in non-verbal language and affective expression

Many times, part of the problem that leads people to couples therapy is that there are blocks in the way we communicate and express ourselves. For instance, there are couples in which a lot of trust has been lost and the idea of ​​being close and even vulnerable generates discomfort, key elements in an emotional and intimate relationship. In this sense, in therapy we work so that both can learn or re-learn these interaction patterns that go beyond words.

• You may be interested in: "5 ways to express more affection to the person you love"

5. Do weekly reviews

About once a week, it is recommended to have a chat about the aspects in which one has noticed progress, added problems, or points in which no progress has been detected at the moment, both in oneself and in the other person. In doing so, it is necessary to follow a series of guidelines to make this conversation something productive, not a fight of egos.

For example, always do it at the same time and if possible in the same place (to create a kind of protocol), and explain what one feels and has observed in the most transparent and descriptive possible, that is, not to generate emotional reactions in the other (which could lead to accusations and reproaches), but so that they know what sorry.

6. Development of task sharing skills

These activities so typical of couples therapy have a part of practicing the skills of negotiation, and another of the use of principles of Emotional Intelligence, so that it is consistent with the next idea: clashes of interest do not equal conflicts.

Through efficient routines of task distribution, a balance is achieved between both members of the couple, so that there is no one person more privileged or benefited than the other. This is especially important in couples with children.

Are you interested in going to couples therapy?

If you are considering seeking the help of a psychology center to strengthen your emotional bond or overcome a dating or marriage crisis, get in touch with us. On Advance Psychologists We have a professional career of two decades helping all kinds of people, and we do both individual therapy for address the forms of discomfort that affect people separately, such as couples therapy to work on problems of the type relational. You can count on us at our facilities located in Madrid, or make use of the online therapy format by video call. On this page you will find more information about us.

Bibliographic references:

• Atkinson, B. J. (2005). Emotional intelligence in couples therapy: Advances from neurobiology and the science of intimate relationships. W W Norton & Co.
• Buss, D. M.; Haselton, M. (2005). The Evolution of Jealousy. Trends in Cognitive Sciences. 9 (11): pp. 506 - 507.
• Campuzo Montoya, M. (2002). Human Couple: Their Psychology, Their Conflicts, Their Treatment. Mexico: AMPAG.
• Dattilio, F.M. & Padesky, C.A. (2004). Cognitive therapy with couples. Bilbao: Editorial Desclée De Brouwer.