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Anger attacks: why they arise and how we can manage them

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Human beings are very emotional animals, with our moments of positive and negative emotions, necessary to adapt to the world around us.

Sadness, joy, anger, disgust and other emotions and feelings are necessary to be able to adapt to the demands of our social environment and cope with everyday life.

Anger is an emotion as necessary as any other, but sometimes when it occurs uncontrollably and with Too often is when the need to seek help must be raised and the consequences in our environment more thoughtful. near.

Here we are going to address what are anger attacks, what are their common causes and we will explain some useful techniques to control them.

  • Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"

What are outbursts of anger?

These are angry episodes in which the person reacts suddenly and violently to something that has bothered them, such as an injustice, a personal offense, or a situation that makes you uncomfortable. The difference that occurs with normal and adaptive anger is the fact that the person can become losing control of herself, throwing objects, yelling and hitting both furniture and people.

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Given the severity and violence manifested by the person possessed by the attack, this behavior is clearly socially undesirable behavior. What's more, the environment itself can provide feedbackSince people who are close can contribute to more tension and can even catch the attack of anger.

Behind domestic incidents, domestic fights and other tense situations, it is common to find that the fuse was lit with a fit of anger from one of the people involved, which incited the rest to behave in a similar way violent

In addition to family life and relationships with friends, people who experience frequent outbursts of anger they can see their work life ruined when they suffer one of these episodes in the workplace. Problems with the authorities can also occur, when fighting with a policeman or trying to attack someone on the street.

A common characteristic of people who have outbursts of anger is that, after experiencing one of these episodes, they deeply regret what they have done, but the damage has already been occasioned.

  • You may be interested: "Are we rational or emotional beings?"

Causes

The causes that can produce an attack of anger are very varied. Some situations that can produce these episodes are when someone's patience has been exhausted in the face of gross negligence or a personal offense that cannot be allowed to pass.

It can also occur when coexistence with loved ones such as parents, siblings and the partner is not taking place in an adequate way, not fulfilling domestic tasks, having overprotection and abusive control over the lives of family members, among other aspects that can generate tension and initiate an incident in the home.

It is of special mention some disorders in which attacks of anger can occur: bipolar disorder, depression, Alzheimer's disease, alcoholism… As well as diseases that apparently may seem unrelated to emotional instability, such as diabetes mellitus, cirrhosis, hepatitis, epilepsy, abuse of benzodiazepines, hormones, steroids, anabolics and drugs to reduce the cholesterol.

It is worth mentioning substance abuse, since it is common in all of them that there are episodes of excessive anger, since they directly affect brain chemistry.

Techniques to control our anger

Here are some helpful techniques to keep anger outbursts at bay and avoid their damaging effects on our lives, personal relationships, and health.

1. Learn to express yourself emotionally

A key to preventing anger from taking hold of us is trying to name what is happening to us. We may have experienced a situation that is unpleasant for us, but we haven't said how it made us feel.

It is very important to talk to the person who is involved in what bad happened to us, either she is the cause of the evil or a person who has been able to live the situation with us problematic.

Expressing ourselves helps us understand the problem in greater depth, since it forces us to reflect on it. In addition, it encourages the person who listens to us to show a little empathy towards us and to be more understanding with our feelings.

Thus, potential bout of anger transforms into self-reflection, in understanding what happens to us, in empathy and, eventually, in a better self-knowledge that will give us joy and satisfaction.

2. Change emotional language

On many occasions, at the beginning of what will later be an attack of anger, the angry person says things like “you always say bad things to me”, “you treat me like trash”, “you never you listen ”...

Instead of saying it in these words, and using a hostile tone, let's try to translate it into a more positive language.

Lowering the tone, and trying to avoid increasing the tension, we can express the same ideas in the following way: “I think that the way I You try to make me feel in a way that I don't want ”,“ I have gotten angry because I feel like you never listen to me, or at least not in the way that I would like"...

These phrases say, in essence, the same as the first, only that the tone in them changes in a way that makes them softer, in addition to detailing how we feel without resorting to foul language or generating tension.

3. Be empathetic

This maxim, which may seem obvious, is, in practice, very little used. Being empathetic implies putting yourself in the place of the other and try to understand why he has told us something that has bothered us.

It may be that the person is going through a bad time, and it has been necessary to say something somewhat unpleasant to release some of the emotional discomfort from her. We have to try to make an effort to understand what is happening.

If you can, ask the other how he feels, if he needs help, and if he prefers you to put aside the issue you are arguing about to address his problem. A) Yes, In addition to easing the situation, you will encourage positive feelings to emerge.

4. It's not a battle

Whether it is your partner, your friend, your boss or anyone else, the fact that they feel and think differently from you and perceive the situation differently does not mean that they are attacking you.

Human beings are very varied and we hardly ever agree on the same. There are as many opinions as there are people in the world, and it is for this reason that we must make an effort to avoid that a misunderstanding ends up being a real pitched war.

Sharing your reflections and thoughts can be transformed into something really positive, since it helps us to have a richer vision of the world around us.

5. Enhance active listening

How many times has it happened to us that we have spoken to someone and what went in through one ear came out through the other? When it happens to us it is very frustrating, since we feel underappreciated and that we are not taken seriously.

It is very important that, in case someone is telling us about their problems, we actively listen to them, that is, trying to understand and remember what he tells us, ask him about how he feels and, if possible, explain something about our lives that is related to what is to us sharing.

If we listen to her, she will also listen when we share our feelings. Many conflicts are the result of people not being able to speak or listen to each other, leading to terrible misunderstandings.

6. Be aware of the consequences

Stop in your tracks before saying something nasty. Breathe Think about what all this could degenerate into. You have experienced this before, what happened? How did it end? Are you satisfied with the situation at that moment?

It is very important to be aware of how the escalation of tension is going to develop. If you have lived before and, therefore, have experience of previous attacks of anger, it is very important to reflect on how all this ended.

It may seem like a no-brainer, but remembering what happened in the previous rage attack can be a useful technique to stop the current imminent attack in its tracks. Thus we avoid going to more.

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