How do you help manage discussions in couples therapy?

Couples therapy is the best option to learn to manage the tendency to argue on bad terms and for everything, something that greatly deteriorates coexistence and wears down the love bond.

Contacting a qualified professional specialized in this type of conflict will help us resolve those conflicts in the shortest possible time. Obstacles that may arise in life as a couple, will allow us to strengthen it and also incorporate communication tools for the future.

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Main areas of work in couples therapy to learn to manage discussions

These are the fronts of psychological intervention that are addressed in couples therapy to help people overcome problems due to the tendency to argue too much.

1. Active listening training

Communication deficits are usually one of the main causes of relationship problems, and one of the essential elements that cannot be missing when maintaining a good level of communication is listening active.

Active listening is the ability to listen fully and consciously to the other person, as well as subsequently internalize the message of our interlocutor and act accordingly with it.

This deep communication ability is essential in any area of ​​life, and can be trained during couples therapy, in the event that one or both members of the same do not have it very developed.

A therapist specialized in this field will be able to understand the importance of active listening for the patient. correct functioning of the couple and you will know what exercises to put into practice to train and do it surface.

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2. Assertiveness training

Assertiveness is another of the most important social skills that exist and without which we cannot function well in a social environment, whether at work, with family, or in a relationship stable.

This ability is what allows us to firmly and securely express our point of view on any subject, as well as our emotions or preferences, all with respect, without aggressiveness and without undermining the rights of the interlocutor.

Assertiveness is of vital importance in the sphere of the couple when it comes to expressing the other person any emotions or discomfort that may arise on a day-to-day basis, rather than suppressing them or saving them to oneself same.

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3. Enhancement of dynamics that promote empathy

Another of the classic social skills that can be worked on in a couples therapy process is empathy, that is, the ability to put oneself in the place of the other, as well as to understand and value their emotions, feelings or motivations.

People with a lack of empathy often act without considering the consequences of their actions and without understanding the impact that these can have on the feelings and well-being of the other person.

This lack of consideration can be interpreted as selfishness on the part of the affected person and can constitute a sufficient reason to end the relationship.

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4. Anger management

Again, emotional management is essential to maintain proper social interaction in any aspect of daily life and in In the field of emotion management, there is one that causes the majority of interpersonal problems in the field of the couple: go to.

Knowing how to manage your own anger is a fundamental coping strategy that allows us to channel and control the momentary anger that we may feel. Psychologists emphasize that in order to learn to control it, it is necessary to know how to identify it correctly and recognize how it appears in the body itself.

This skill can also be learned and trained by a qualified therapist in both the context of individual therapy and couples therapy.

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5. Learning constructive criticism

Some people often have a difficult time making constructive criticism, either of their own partner or of another person. This may be due to a lack of empathy, assertiveness, or any other social skill, and this phenomenon almost always leads to an argument.

In the area of ​​the couple it is of special importance learn to make constructive criticism without seeming personal attacks or reproaches to cause pain, which is why it is so beneficial to train the way in which you express your own opinions without hurting the other person.

Couples psychologists are specialists in offering useful communication tools to their clients and in training both verbal and non-verbal language, to learn to discuss opinions without ending in a heated discussion.

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6. Negotiation

Problem solving is another of the essential skills to function properly in a relationship, since that throughout a long period of coexistence, recurrent discussions, conflicts or problems of a greater or lesser nature tend to appear magnitude.

These types of problems, if they are frequent, can put the future of the relationship at risk in case the couple does not put it into practice an efficient problem solving method for both members Of the same.

Negotiation is the ability to resolve a problem fairly and to the satisfaction of both parties, and in the field of relationships, taking into account the well-being and integrity of both members of the relationship.

• Related article: "Top 14 Negotiation Skills"

7. Ability to apologize

Learning to apologize when we have made a mistake is a sign of emotional maturity and also one of the keys to resolving all kinds of conflicts or problems with the partner in a satisfactory way.

People who know how to apologize when appropriate do so because they are aware of the impact their actions may have had in the past, and in general they tend to maintain more successful communication styles both with their partner and with their social environment.

8. Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to know correctly manage your own emotions in an appropriate way to each situation, and also to identify the emotions of others.

Emotional intelligence is, together with those mentioned above, the main social skills that any person has. socially competent person, and all of them constitute the best tools to maintain a healthy and healthy couple relationship. durable.

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9. Train confidence

Trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and an indicator of whether the relationship is good or bad.

Some people may have trouble trusting their partner and These confidence deficits may be motivated by real events, such as past infidelity, or by imagined events, such as excessive jealousy.

10. Avoid reproaches

Reproaches constitute a very negative and toxic form of communication in the couple, since focuses on negative or past issues rather than focusing on resolving the situation in the present moment.

Maintaining a positive and purposeful communication modality without focusing on the past is a good way to begin to solve the problems of the couple in a healthy way and without harming the other person.