Are you 'stress friendly'?

Anxiety is a very human experience but, if it occurs in excess, it prevents us from enjoying life and being functional when it reaches high levels. Although without realizing it, it is possible that with our words or behaviors we provoke this emotion in others and, although we have not wanted it, we are causing a lot of discomfort.

In one way or another, what we do and say is going to provoke some kind of reaction in others, but we can prevent that that is the anxiety if we control ourselves a little and avoid commenting or behaving in a way that causes this emotion.

It's easy to complain in situations where others stress us out, but... How involved are you in reducing the consequences of stress in your environment? Here are some tips to avoid causing anxiety problems in others.

• Related article: "What is anxiety: how to recognize it and what to do"

Tips to avoid causing anxiety problems in others

Anxiety is a psychological and emotional phenomenon that can make a person feel very lonely. At extreme levels, this emotion can make those who live it isolate themselves, not be able to relate with others because of the fear that something could go very wrong or that they could make a very harmful.

They are concerns that in the mind of a person without this type of problem may seem like a small thing, but for those who feel anxious the world becomes a hostile place and your mind takes care of making it look even worse.

People with anxiety can have irrational thoughts, behaviors that lead them to avoid situations, worries constant on various topics and even physical discomfort such as headaches or gastric discomfort caused by the intensity of your emotions. Regardless of whether you are a person who usually feels anxiety or has never experienced it, here are some tips to avoid generating anxiety problems in others.

1. Notify when you are not punctual

Many people do not get along very well with being punctual. Either because they are clueless or poorly organized, the truth is that many end up coming later than what had been agreed. This can also be applied to the subject of work or academic deliveries. Whatever it is that is delivered or is late, it is essential that to avoid generating anxiety unnecessary in the rest let us warn that we will not be as punctual as we had originally agreed.

There are people who need to know that everything is under control, have certainty about life and, if nobody warns them that something is going to be delayed, they enter into an anxiety crisis that we would not wish it even on whoever we fell for wrong. For this reason, it is essential that, at a minimum, we advise that we are not going to be punctual, in addition to apologizing for the inconvenience we may cause.

• Related article: "The 3 types of procrastination, and tips to stop procrastinating"

2. Don't be fickle or incoherent

One of the things that most fuels someone's anxiety is that in his family environment there is a person who is incoherent and inconsistent in his opinions and actions.

It is normal that we change our opinions or do different things from time to time, but what is not normal is that one day we think in one way and the next day we radically change our opinion. This produces a lot of uncertainty for the people who are part of our close circle, not being very clear if we are going to support them or not.

• Maybe you are interested: "The 10 basic communication skills"

3. Do not complain about something and then do nothing about it

One of the worst things that can be done to anyone, and especially one who is prone to anxiety, is complaining about something you have said or done but, when it comes down to it, doing absolutely nothing to help her to get better.

There are people who may be immersed in a problem from which to get out they need help from other people and, when someone tells them that they see that problem, get excited thinking that finally they will receive help, but in the end it does not help them and even makes them feel more guilty for not being able to fix it on your own.

It doesn't help in the least to complain about problems and then do nothing to change it. If we do not intend to help someone to improve their life, to overcome their problems, almost the best we can to do is to keep our opinion to ourselves and not add more pressure and tension to your life, which surely has enough with what yours.

• Related article: "Types of motivation: the 8 motivational sources"

4. Do not look for the flaws in others

This that we are going to comment may sound obvious, a fundamental point in the manual on how not to be a bad person, but for what is seen there are individuals who do not fully understand it or realize the damage they can do with their unnecessary comments. Bringing out what we think is complex in someone is the perfect way to make them anxious.

Nobody is perfect. Everyone has imperfections, little problems that keep us from being an Olympian god. But it is that we are mortal and each one is as he is, and more than talking about how imperfect we are, we should internalize the idea that each one is perfectly what he or she is, that is, that with all the good and the bad, he or she is perfectly.

There are people who know that they have "defects", but far from being overwhelmed by them, they simply accept them. Others are so happy and accepting of themselves that they don't even see them. It is not that they believe they are perfect, but they do not allow themselves to be bitter about those things that society, because after all beauty is sociocultural, it sees as defects or things that make us ugly.

And then there are those people who, although they are not aware of the damage they do, have no problem looking for defects in others. This type of people do not accept themselves, in fact, they are so bitter inside that to try to "cheer up" they look for imperfections of others to make them feel as bad as they are, and thus be able to stop being the only one who is dissatisfied with themselves herself. Of course, this behavior is very toxic and causes discomfort to others. Let's not be like that.

• Maybe you are interested: "How to give constructive criticism: 11 simple and effective tips"

5. The important things always in the face

When we have to say something important to someone, it is preferable to meet in person and say it to their face. The use of the telephone should be avoided and important things should never be said by instant messaging, because through this means it is not possible to convey certain emotions.

Through the mobile one cannot know what reaction the other person has to our words, and what to us may seem like something that we think they will digest with relative normality, in the eyes of the other person, it may give the feeling that the situation is more serious, or that it really is or that we are angry or that there has been some trouble.

For important things like for example that your father has had a heart attack or things like that, in case you are not in the presence of the other person, it is best to make a call. While it is natural for there to be an emotional reaction to this call, if you say it calmly, responding to her questions and calming her down with your tone of voice, reporting the situation well, you will not provoke so much anxiety.

6. Go to psychotherapy

Finally, we leave the most important advice on this entire list, left for last, which is why it is the icing on the cake: go to psychotherapy. The best way not to generate anxiety problems for others is to try to put order in our lives, actively seek emotional stability letting our mental health be improved with the help of a psychotherapist.

Although emotional stability is a construct that borders on the mythological, as people are not impassive beings in the face of the problems of life, we can take them in a different way depending on our attitude and the tools we use to face the difficulties. If we are people who control the way we respond to problems very well, we will also be people who will not cause anxiety problems in others by ceasing to be people mentally unstable.