The ego trap

What secrets does our mind hide? Do you think you are really free of decision? Do you live in a mental prison? Do you have a hard time getting out of your looped thoughts?

If you want to discover the answers to these questions, be sure to read this article where I explain how the human mind works and specifically our ego.

• Related article: "Obsessive thoughts: why they appear and how to fight them"

Let's start with the most basic: what is the ego?

Have you ever heard the phrase "this person has a lot of ego" or "his ego has gone up"? When this is said... What do you think the person saying this is referring to?

Ok, I can imagine your answer. Perhaps you think that person is very self-confident or that they are very arrogant, am I right?

And yes, generally the behavior of this person is governed by an ego that plays the role of a character who thinks he is superior to others. But this is not the only ego structure that exists; for example, if a person feels inferior to others, this is also a role played by his ego.

Let's say the ego is any character that operates in our mind and with which most people feel identified. This ego will always present itself with feelings of guilt, suffering and struggle.

The ego is that little voice that tells you you will never get it, that the same thing always happens to you, that you will never find a partner who loves you because of how you are, that you don't try, that you are too old to change careers, that you continue as you are because you never succeed any... And the list is endless.

And sometimes there are different little voices in the mind that try to overlap each other: when one tells you no you're going to be able to, the other one tells him "of course you can, if you're the best and you don't need anyone to achieve the success".

The ego always wants more, You will always have a multitude of needs and demands to make you feel incomplete and insufficient.

• You may be interested: "What is emotional intelligence?"

How is the ego structured in the human mind?

The ego It is neither good nor bad; in fact, it has its share of utility. In the stage of childhood It helps us to survive emotionally, so it is necessary in our development process.

The problem exists when we already grow up and we fully identify with that character that constantly disturbs us and we think we are him.

Let's say that the ego has different phases and that there are different structures of the ego depending on the mental model of the person or his personality. This is studied in the theory of the enneagram with the different enneatypes that make it up and that explain in detail how the ego operates in the human mind. This model says that each person is born with a predominant enneatype and with it a birth wound which will have to heal from the strength of the being in order to advance in its evolution; this explains how two brothers can have a very different personality, even though they have received the same type of education.

when we take a decision based on fear we are taking it from the perspective of the ego; however, when a decision is made from what is best for your being, you are making it from love, inner peace and serenity. This is a very good way to identify where we make decisions from and thus be able to reflect before rushing.

It is not about eliminating the ego from our life, ignoring it or avoiding it, but about reaching a point where you can accept it because you have done that work of self-knowledge and you are no longer disturbed or identified with it.

working with the ego

There are several techniques to be aware of our ego and not give it so much importance in our day to day life; one of them is to simply close your eyes for 5 minutes a day and focus on any external noise without judging it, or you can just focus on your breath.

Surely you can get overwhelmed at first if you have never done this, and you want to leave it, but think that really the one who encourages you to leave it is not you, but your ego telling you that you are not worth it the meditation and that this is useless.

But if you really want to understand how the nature of the mind works and work on mental mastery or mind liberation, the best way is to get to know the “enemy” very closely. For this all you have to do is observe the thoughts in your mind and come back to the present every time you fall into their nets.

I hope you liked this article and that from now on you understand that the ego is just a character, a protection mechanism, a mask, but that you are much more than that character, and that simply by being you are already complete and, therefore, you are enough.

I would like to end the article with this thought-provoking quote from Sri Sri Ravi Shankar “Nothing in the world can bother you more than your own mind. In fact, the others seem to be bothering you, but it's not the others, it's your own mind.