How to detect an infidelity of your partner? The 8 keys to know if he is unfaithful to you

We understand by fidelity a pact of respect that is established between a couple. For this reason, infidelity will consist of the breaking of the established norms by one or both members of the couple.

Identifying when someone is unfaithful to us can be difficult, since the individual himself will try to hide the betrayal from us. For this reason we must value and pay attention to different signals that together can indicate that something is happening. What we will observe is a change in behavior in our partner, whether in the way they act with us, the way they groom themselves, a change in habits...

Even so, no behavior or change can be totally linked to infidelity, there is no indicator that is infallible. Therefore, in the face of suspicion, before attacking our partner, it is better to raise our concerns and doubts to give him the opportunity to explain himself, since there may be many other reasons that relate to the change. In this article we will talk about infidelity, what behaviors can act as signs and help us identify it.

• We recommend you read: "Infidelity in happy couples, is it possible?"

What do we understand by infidelity?

Infidelity is defined as the breaking of the pact of fidelity that is established in a couple. In this pact, a series of rules that must be followed to respect the relationship are proposed and agreed upon. There are mainly two types of infidelity: sexual, which consists of having sexual relations with a person who is not our partner or the emotional one, which arises when a bond is established, there are feelings for another person other than ours partner.

We must understand infidelity as a complex concept that is influenced by different variables, both social, personal, family and sexual, these interact with each other and make it more or less likely that the conduct of infidelity. In this way, the causes that lead to infidelity can be multiple and different in each subject, It is even likely that there is more than one cause and the behavior of infidelity ends up being carried out by a detonating.

Some of the most frequent causes may be: lack or poor communication, communication problems are one of the main causes of exhaustion of relationships, not telling our partner how we feel ends up breaking the bond and increasing the risk of being unfaithful; routine, routine, always doing the same thing and not innovating also ends up stagnating the relationship and producing a feeling of discontent and lack of motivation to continue, increasing the probability that we will look for fun outside of partner.

Likewise, linked to the type of sexual infidelity, another cause is sexual differences, such as desire or the type of sexual practices desired. When the partner does not match, it is more likely that what our partner does not give us is sought outside the relationship. Finally, neglecting the relationship and not dedicating time to it also causes wear and tear and the relationship dies little by little. It is essential to spend time caring for the relationship if we want it to continue to develop properly.

• We recommend you read: "How to save your marriage? 10 tips to avoid breakup

How can we know if our partner is unfaithful to us?

Detecting that our partner is unfaithful to us is not easy, since if they hide it from us and they don't want us to find out, they will find a way to make sure we don't notice. In the same way, it can also arise in us, as a way of protection, to downplay or not want to consider the possibility of infidelity. We may realize changes in our partner but we do not give it the meaning of infidelity, since proposing this possibility does more harm than ignoring it.

Even so, although it can be difficult to realize that they are being unfaithful to us, there are some signs that may be indicative of possible infidelity. Of course, it is important not to become obsessed with them, nor to be constantly aware of how our partner acts, since there is no indicator that is infallible and is 100% linked to infidelity.

When in doubt and uneasiness, it is better to ask our partner how we feel, talk about what worries us to find spare parts. Avoiding in any case directly attacking the other, since this behavior will make it difficult for the situation to be fixed. Let's see, then, what signs may be indicative of possible infidelity. In general terms, what we will observe will be a change in behavior with respect to previous behavior, since in the end it is what serves as a reference to realize that something strange is happening.

1. change of habits

Sudden change of habits without an apparent cause can be a sign of infidelity. We are not referring to a one-off change that occurs one day or even for a week, but changes that are maintained continuously and have no real justification. These schedule changes mean that our partner spends less time with us, justified on many occasions that it is for work.

It may also be that these habits are linked to actions that he performs at home, for example we see that he spends much more time with the computer and mobile, without it being due to work reasons.

2. give evasive answers

When we ask you about new conduct or behaviors, for example when we ask how your boss makes him stay so late at work he doesn't know how to respond clearly and tries to avoid giving answers. He often gives concise, short answers, or tries to avoid responding by claiming that he doesn't know or that we care too much. He will try to change the subject quickly and at no time will it come out of him / her to talk about it.

3. behaves distantly

As we have already said, it is important to compare and look at the changes, how it was before and how it is now. Infidelity can lead our partner to behave in a more distant way, especially if it is an emotional infidelity, since really who he will be in love with will be someone else and therefore we will notice that with us he is less affectionate, does not seek contact, does not try to communicate and shows little interest in knowing how we are or how we feel. We will observe a cold attitude, different from how it was before or how it is with other people around them.

4. They are more irritable

As is obvious, infidelity is indicative that something is not going well in the couple, for this reason it is likely that we perceive in the other a more negative attitude, that shows less patience and that any action angry. Likewise, although the infidelity is carried out consciously, the subject knows that he is acting badly, he may feel responsible for conscience, being irritable or trying to prevent us from doing behaviors that benefit him or show our love towards him or she.

5. prefer to be alone

We realize that you look for any excuse to do activities alone, whether it is going out with your friends or going shopping alone.. As we have already said, doing these behaviors on time is normal, everyone needs our space, time to be with ourselves or with our friends. The problem arises when we don't see that she wants to spend time with us, she doesn't take any time to be together.

We can also observe this behavior of loneliness at home, they prefer to be in another room or to be in the same room but carrying out their own activity, such as playing on the computer or looking at the mobile.

6. fixes more

Again, this is not an infallible indicator of infidelity, but perhaps if we observe that he grooms himself more, that he cares more about being well. physically, for having a well-groomed hairstyle, putting on make-up, trimming his beard, playing sports... it can indicate that he is getting to know someone or that he at least wants to like more. It is common to see that at the beginning of a relationship each member is concerned about grooming and liking physically and little by little this concern can decrease.

7. Act defensive

As we have already said, he / she knows that he is acting badly and that at any moment we can catch him. For this reason, although we do not attack, he can act defensively, expressing that we ask a lot of questions, that we demand a lot of attention or that it is we who have changed and act in a different way. When someone knows that he is guilty but does not want to confess what he did, he tends to act defensive and try to change. the roles and make the other person look like the "bad" one, the one who attacks, in order to divert attention and not talk about the topic.

8. Loss of sexual interest

Sexual interest can vary without being linked to infidelity. As we get older, sexual appetite can decrease, in the same way that times of greater stress, worry, can also affect the desire to have sexual relations. Even so, the loss of sexual interest of our partner, it can be a sign of possible infidelity. It is possible that he avoids physical contact because he really already has it with another person or because he wants to be faithful to the other person, with whom he cheats on us.

If we see that he/she is never receptive when we look for him/her or that it no longer comes out of him/her to maintain relationships, it may be a sign. Although, as we said at the beginning, it will be necessary to rule out other explanations and never attack our partner, it is better to talk and let him/her express to us the reason for her actions.