My partner does not fill me up: possible causes and what to do

With the passage of time, it is relatively common that in a couple relationship both members do not feel like they did at the beginning, thus giving rise to a process of falling out of love, something natural. However, when this situation is taken to an extreme where one or both members feel that their partner does not fulfill them; this may carry sadness, grief and even uncertainty.

If your partner does not fill you up, this could be due to several reasons, and there are certain signs that could make me think that things are not going as they should. Thus, in this article we will see the signs that allow us to identify the reasons why a person could feel that her partner does not fulfill him and we will also see some tips to keep in mind in these cases.

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Why do I feel that my partner does not fill me?

These are the causes most associated with the feeling of "emptiness" in a relationship.

1. Reduction of common projects

If your partner does not fulfill you, one of the main reasons could be the fact that that there would have been a reduction in common projects over time, when it would be normal for more projects to be shared, such as certain goals in life.

That is why a warning sign that the relationship is not working as it should is that each of the members spend less and less time together, because each one is focused on a series of projects that do not fit with those of the other so that each time there is less space to spend on partner; especially when none of the members of the couple is in the business of looking for common ground with the other, thus becoming even more distant as time goes by.

That there is a lack of affinity in terms of tastes, interests or concerns, as well as at an intellectual level, could influence the fact that there is a reduction in common projects.

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2. Lack of acts of affection and loss of interest

Another possible reason could be the fact that lately there are few or few signs of affection between us, so that Those details of affection that we used to show before have been disappearing and we barely kiss or caress each other. Also, we no longer have fun like we used to when we were together.

Nor are there usually praises or details from both and all those manifestations of love that had previously been replaced by certain gestures of indifference, our moments as a couple having become routine, since we always do the same things, we hardly go out nor do we usually innovate in terms of plans or details; In other words, we always do the same activities together and we always give each other similar gifts on the dates indicated.

Another reason for concern within the couple could be the loss of interest in the other by one of the members, or even both. In these cases, there is no longer any interest in what happens in the life of the other, which favors an increase in the distance between the two.

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3. Lack of communication or impoverishment of it

One of the possible causes of someone feeling that her partner does not fulfill him could be a lack of communication or an impoverishment of it. Although not all people have the same communication skills and there are couples where there is usually less communication than in others, a warning sign could be the fact that the communication between both members was given to a lesser extent than usual and also that no effort is made to reach an agreement. understanding.

When interest and love is running out within a couple, it is likely that communication problems begin to appear, so that it is also more difficult for points of disagreement to be resolved peacefully, and it is more common for discussions to begin with greater frequency and intensity.

In some cases, this lack of communication could lead to only speaking what is fair, and even reducing the conversation in monosyllables, so that both members of the couple feel alone when they are together even though they share the physical presence.

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4. Lack of tolerance towards certain behaviors of the other member of the couple

When one member of the couple does not fulfill the other, it is possible that a falling out of love is taking place and, in In this type of case, there could be an intolerance towards some behaviors of the other member.

This usually begins when a person begins to see that he is distancing himself from her partner and that each They share fewer interests, so he is beginning to see his partner in a different light, in a different way. what each time if you will notice more in certain behavior of your partner that you do not like, and may even be magnified from his perspective of those apparent imperfections.

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5. lack of sexual desire

Among the causes of this problem could be the lack of sexual desire, one of the signs associated with a process of falling out of love. With that There is usually a general distancing between both members of the marriage or courtship, disappearing the need for closeness on a physical level and for intimacy that used to exist between the two.

In this type of case, the sexual life of the couple can become monotonous or even scarce. Kisses and displays of affection could have become routine acts that are carried out automatically and feel the same as before.

6. lack of fun

Another sign that things are not going well in a relationship is when one or both of its members feel that they are no longer having fun doing things together, and it is very important that when both members of the couple are together they do not need anyone else to spend fun and pleasant moments. By this we do not mean that everything is fun and you have to always be having a good time, since a couple is much more than that, considering that they should also be there to support in moments difficult.

However, when moments of fun as a couple are not spent as they used to be, we find ourselves before a sign that something is wrong, especially when you need the company of more people to be distracted and not see the reality.

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7. The idea comes to mind that perhaps you would be better off without a partner

If your partner does not fill you, it is likely that thoughts and ideas related to a relationship will come to your mind. hypothetical future in which that person is already or is by your side and that you consider that you would be better off in singleness. This usually occurs when one person is not happy in their relationship and begins to have more and more desire to be alone, being common that they carry out most of the plans without their partner, even preferring to be with other people than with their partner.

• Related article: "Is Singleness Linked to Low Mood?"

What to do if my partner does not fill me up?

When someone feels that her partner does not fulfill them, they should analyze the above points and reflect to what extent they happen to her with her partner and if you think it is reciprocal or only happens to her.

It should also be borne in mind that being in love is not the same as loving, since the former is a process that is mediated through brain chemistry because during this period of time lovers release a wide variety of hormones (eg. eg, oxytocin or vasopressin, among others), being the cause of those feelings of "having butterflies in the stomach" and "being in the clouds".

On the other hand, loving is something deeper and has a greater solidity than falling in love; it is a process that normally lasts longer. This is when each of the members of the couple has a more realistic view of the other person and regarding their relationship. For this reason, it must be borne in mind that falling out of love could gradually disappear, but love remains, being a bond that sustains the relationship. more resistant and mature, which makes it possible for both members to accept the other for what he is, keeping in mind his virtues, but also his defects.

Therefore, when there is a falling out but there is some degree of love or affection, the relationship can work. For this it is necessary that both members commit to their relationship and have the desire and interest in it, thus being convinced that it is worth trying and moving forward together.

A highly recommended option in this type of case would be for both of you to agree to find a therapist or psychologist specialized in couples who could help that both find a way to get their relationship back on track, thus leaving behind the possible problems that could have brought them to the point where they are.

When someone feels that their partner does not fulfill them, they should also ask themselves if it is something temporary, because they are going through a bad time or if it is already something that comes from afar. In this type of situation you have to analyze the facts exhaustively and not try to fool yourself, since if one considers that their relationship has no future, the more they let it go, the more difficult it will be to end their relationship.