What is love and what types exist? Psychology gives us the answer

Love is a complex feeling that can be made up of different variables and directed at different people, giving rise to different types of feeling. One of the main authors who studied love and the different categories that constitute it was Robert Sternberg who proposed the theory of the triangle of love where it presents three basic components of this feeling that give rise to the multiple types of love.

The development of each one of them will also vary according to the moment of the relationship, having as its final objective the complete or perfect love that is constituted by the three components. In this article you will learn more about what we understand by love, what categories of love Sternberg proposes, as well as what other types have been proposed.

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What do we understand by love?

The term love is difficult to define given its complexity and breadth. Love is understood as a feeling directed towards another individual or towards oneself.

. For this reason there will be different types of love, with different characteristics depending on who it goes to. oriented, such as our relatives, our friends, our partner or ourselves themselves.

Unlike emotions, feelings involve their own interpretation, that is, it is more subjective and influences more the thinking of each one. In this way, love is a very powerful feeling, capable of moving the individual to perform unthinkable actions, we could consider it one of the main engines that drives the world.

Despite being one of the most beautiful sensations and that can make people happierWhen heartbreak occurs, when someone we love hurts us, it provokes in us a state of intense pain that can be devastating and difficult to overcome.

In the same way, as we have already pointed out, love can be directed at different individuals and the variables that will generate it will be different. thus presenting different types of love, that is, in the constitution of this feeling can influence, the physical appearance, the intelligence, security... In other words, depending on the characteristics that give rise to the feeling of love, we will talk about different types of this

• We recommend you read: "Love at first sight: what it is and 5 signs to detect a crush"

What types of love exist?

There are different investigations that have been carried out with the purpose of establishing the different types of love that exist. One of the most recognized authors is Robert Sternberg, who proposes a theory known as the "love triangle theory"., where he presents three different types of this feeling depending on how its three basic components are related, these They will form couples giving rise to all possible combinations and in a single trio, meeting the three, which will mean love full. This theoretical approach has good empirical support.

Before starting the explanation of each kind of love, let's see how each basic component is defined. Sternberg proposes three components that make up love, one of them is intimacy, which is defined as the feeling of closeness, union, and affection towards the other person, to feel understood and that we place full trust in the other person.

Another factor that gives rise to different types of love is passion, which refers to a state of both mental and physical excitement that generates in us a desire for another person. This feeling that becomes almost a need to be with the individual can lead to an obsession. And finally, the third component would be the commitment that implies making the decision to love the other person and maintaining this decision even in bad times.

In addition, the author states that each component develops and evolves over time in a different way. The passion is very intense at the beginning of the relationship when love begins, growing rapidly but decreasing during the course of the relationship and finally stabilizing at moderate levels.

For its part, intimacy has a more gradual development as time passes and the relationship progresses. In this way, its increase is slower than passion but it maintains a more continuous growth, although it is observed that this is faster at the beginning of the relationship. Finally, the commitment grows very slowly, even more than intimacy, managing to stabilize when you are aware of the rewards and costs of the relationship.

Although we have said that the different types of love are given by a combination of components feelings also appear if only one of them is present, in this case we are talking about: empty love when there is only commitment, there is no feeling towards the other person although there is respect; affection, this is typical of friendships where there is no physical attraction or a stable commitment; and the infatuation where only passionate love is observed and it is the one that appears when we feel attracted at first sight, what is popularly known as "a crush". Now that we know better the characteristics of each factor that give rise to the different types of love, we will focus on better defining each one of them.

1. Romantic love

This type of love supposes the union of the component of intimacy and that of passion. That is to say, they are united or they will attract each other physically and emotionally but they will not have an established commitment, fortuitous encounters are characteristic, it does not suppose a duration in time. This kind of love is the one that is represented in most movies and romantic novels, being a typical example the work of Romeo and Juliet, where the protagonists fall in love at first sight, they sacrifice themselves for the other and their life turns around the loved one.

Also typical of romantic love is the conception of the other half, of having to find someone who complements us and is perfect. for us, thus creating a need and dependency between the two, they act as if they were the same person, where one goes, the other follows. other.

• To know more: "Romantic Love: What Is It and Why Does It So Often Confuse Us?"

2. mate love

companion love is the union between intimacy and commitmentThus, we see how, unlike romantic love, in this case passion is lacking, which we could refer to as the lack of sexual desire. In the same way, compared to romantic love, the relationship is not experienced as a need to be with the other, but as a personal choice and with a feeling of freedom. In this type of love, a feeling of concern for the other person appears, so that they are well and happy, expressions of tenderness, affection and satisfaction are more frequently observed.

Its development in couples can occur together with passionate love or appear later, we see how the Lovers begin to share interests, tastes, activities, time of their life and thus strengthen their bond. We can also call this kind of love social love, since it is the one that is acquired by sharing time, social environment, with other individuals, therefore we can find it among relatives or among good friendships.

3. fatuous love

fatuous love is the combination of commitment and passion. In the development of this love, it is observed how passion evolves and quickly becomes commitment, without intimacy appearing. In other words, this type of love occurs when the couple that is still in the passion phase decides to commit, to share much of the time together without having things in common, that is, it is not observed that they have interests, activities, routines, etc., but a relationship of friendship.

4. Complete love

The complete love that brings together the three types of basic components, intimacy, passion and commitment, is also called perfect, consummate or mature love. It is the type of love that we all want to achieve, but given its complexity, it is the most difficult to achieve and maintain. According to Sternberg, keeping this kind of love is even more complicated than reaching it, for this reason it is not a love that remains stable, it can disappear. Now that we know the main prototypes of love proposed by Sternberg, let's see what other kinds of this feeling have been proposed.

5. love game

The love game also called training or ludus is the characteristic of people concerned only about themselves and that create intense emotional bonds that change frequently, that is, they spend little time with the same person person.

6. possessive love

Possessive love or mania, as its name indicates, we find it in relationships where jealousy and possessiveness prevail, love is understood as a relationship of belonging, they believe that their partner is their property.

7. logical love

In logical love or pragma, the other person, our partner, is chosen, following reason, taking into account the practical application.

8. altruistic love

Altruistic love or agape is characterized by give oneself to the other completely selflessly and without expecting anything in return only for the benefit of the other person.