7 questions to know if you are okay with your partner
Relationships are not always easy, and in many cases the stages in which they do not go through good moments are suspiciously common. Do not forget that, as in any interpersonal relationship, each member of the couple has their own vision of the world, their tastes, their needs and even her insecurities.
To try that this fit between the members of a couple is optimal, dialogue is essential. The communication It is one of the basic pillars of a relationship, since dialogue is what allows us to maintain the project of life in common that two people who love each other start. In living with others, it is always necessary to negotiate, give in and reach agreements, and relationships are no exception.
Social skills, key in the relationship
Many times we think that true love fits together by magic, that when two people love each other, things always happen in their favor because the power of love can overcome everything. This can be very good for a Hollywood movie scriptBut in real life, for a couple to work, both lovers have to do their part.
Over time, one learns that it is necessary to possess a series of interpersonal competencies for love to succeed, such as communication skills, empathy, active listening, assertiveness, respect or patience... In couple relationships conflicts can arise at any time, the key is to know how to solve them.
Questions to know if you are okay with your partner
Believing that there will be ups and downs in a relationship is an irrational belief, and the attitude with which one faces difficulties often determines the success or not of it. The important thing is to manage the situation so it doesn't get out of hand, because as conflicts progress, then it takes more time to get back to where you started.
So the first step is to detect that things are not going quite right. If you have a partner and you find yourself in a difficult situation, you may wonder... how is it possible to know if a couple is going through a crisis? Below you can find a series of questions to help you reflect on your situation.
1. Are there grudges?
Love is a magical and intense feeling for both good and bad. Being in love is one of the most incredible experiences that human beings can live, but the pain emotional we feel when things are not going well in our love relationship is very deep and penetrating.
Conflicts with our boyfriend or girlfriend hurt us more than confrontations with other people (for example, a friend) and provoke in us a much stronger and more passionate reaction.
Therefore, it is easy to feel offended when things do not go your way and discomfort can provoke a huge grudge when problems are not solved. If there are grudges towards your partner, you better solve them as soon as possible; otherwise, the problem can grow and the tension can be so great that the relationship will end up breaking down.
2. Do you negotiate in conflicts?
Communication problems are one of the most common reasons for conflict between lovers. The quality of communication determines the future of a relationship, and that is why it is necessary to listen to the other person and be assertive, especially in difficult moments. Conflicts can arise at any time, because we all have our needs and our own space within a relationship.
Knowing how to empathize with the other person, pay attention to their opinion and negotiate avoids many problematic situations and helps prevent the relationship from become toxic. If you find that either of you is imposing your opinion, does not listen to the other or negotiate the important aspects, perhaps it is time to fix it.
3. Do you agree on the important things?
It is not necessary that you always share the same points of viewHowever, on the important things (such as common goals and ambitions) you should generally agree.
Each member of the couple has an individual value scale, but as the relationship takes hold, it is necessary to build a common value scale. This is essential to have a life project together, that helps you navigate in the same direction and that gives the relationship a sense of transcendence.
4. Does he support you in difficult times?
People are not perfect and neither are couples. But if the relationship goes through a bad time due to difficult life circumstances, for example, work or personal problems, it is always better to stay together than to throw each one aside.
Do you feel that your partner is there for you and supports you in difficult times? How does he behave with you when you are alone? Reflect on these questions can make you see if your partner is committed to the relationship and with you.
5. Do intimate relationships work?
Intimate moments with the couple play a very important role in their unity and stability and influence the emotional health of their members. Hugging, kissing, showing love, and sexual intercourse make the members of the relationship feel a unique connection. But over time it is possible that the intensity of sexual contact decreases and that sometimes monotony can be reached, and this can cause serious problems for the smooth running of the partner.
When passion starts to wane it matters look for mechanisms that allow the passion to be revived again in the sexual field, otherwise, the harmony in intimate relationships and in the expression of affectivity are affected. If this happens, it is necessary to reverse the situation as soon as possible.
If you have been with your partner for a long time and you notice that the frequency of intimate relationships is not the same as at the beginning of the relationship, it is normal, but yes you perceive that there are sexual difficulties and that sex is no longer an intimate experience that connects you deeply, perhaps you are going through a bad moment. Attending couples therapy can help reestablish that bond and can give you the opportunity to overcome this situation.
6. Are you thinking of cheating on your partner?
Without a doubt, one of the fundamental values to build a stable love relationship and marriage is fidelity. In fact, one of the most frequent reasons why a couple goes to psychotherapy sessions is to overcome this act considered treason and disloyalty.
Monotony or communication problems are often at the root of infidelity, although the person who is unfaithful, to avoid feeling bad, can blame her partner for having reached this situation. Although it is true that the fault is often both of them, the person who has carried out the infidelity has made the decision to act like this.
Surely she could have resorted to other options, for example, having confidently talked to her partner about what she felt was not working in the relationship. Whatever the cause, if you also find yourself in this situation and if you are thinking about being unfaithful, there is something in the relationship that is wrong.
7. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?
Perhaps your relationship is going through a bad time and you have an immense desire to get away from this relationship, since it is affecting your day to day and you have stopped being the person you were. Likewise, the gap that separates you and your partner is so great that you no longer feel like staying by their side.
However, it may happen that, despite the conflicts that have appeared in your relationship, in the deep down you know that your partner has a good heart and that those who unite you are worth fighting for, which is a lot of. In this case you should know that relationship problems can be solved with the help of a psychologist, and to go to couples therapy it is not necessary to suffer from any mental disorder, since the therapeutic relationship in this specialty does not revolve around the individual, but rather the relationship.
Couples therapy: when to go?
Couples therapy is a beneficial alternative for the love relationship to regain its stability, communication problems are solved and both members of the couple feel happy again.
In most cases it is possible to get out of the negative spiral in which the relationship has fallen and reinforce or reactivate emotional ties. But... how does one know that the time has come to go to couples therapy? Some indicators to attend couples therapy sessions are:
- There are communication problems
- Satisfaction in the relationship is on the decline
- There is a specific crisis situation
- There are problems in intimate relationships
- There is indecision about future plans
- There is a distance with the couple
- There has been an infidelity
- There are trust and jealousy issues
Instituto Mensalus: psychological assistance in relationship problems and sexuality
Instituto Mensalus is a psychology center in Barcelona formed by a team of highly specialized psychologists in couples therapy. If you feel identified or identified with the previous lines, this clinic can offer you solutions and help you in the difficulties that your relationship is going through.
Couples therapy is a positive resource for both individual and couple growth. Mensalus can help you learn new ways of relating with your partner and can provide you with tools to overcome difficulties in the relationship and in coexistence, relationship conflicts and sexual problems (lack of desire or arousal, trouble reaching orgasm, premature ejaculation or dysfunction erectile, etc.).
This center offers face-to-face therapy and online therapy. If you want more information, you just have to do click here.
