The 5 possible sexual problems in polyamory

Although polyamory as a form of love bonding has several decades of history, it has been during this century when It has become widely popularized in our western societies, mainly among the older people. young man.

In many cases, polyamorous relationships between more than two people are less exposed to certain problems typical of couple relationships and can endure for many years, but there are also some sources of discomfort that are more frequent in polyamory or present certain peculiarities in these cases.

Therefore, in this article we will talk about what are the possible sex-affective problems in polyamory and how to work on them from sexology.

• Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love exist?"

What are the main sexual and emotional problems in polyamory?

Relationships between more than two people are usually exposed to some problems that do not have the same role in traditional couple relationships; Below we will see the most common.

1. More pockets of physical insecurities

Polyamorous relationships can more easily generate dynamics of comparison and competition in one or several members of the same, which in turn allows the appearance of insecurities of all kinds when compared with other people in terms of image and physique. It is not uncommon for the fear of being "the ugly one" in the relationship to appear.

The most common and evident insecurity that occurs in this type of love dynamics is the one that has to do with constantly looking in the mirror, and this happens when a person considers that he is not as fit as another, that he does not fit in same way in the canons of beauty compared to the rest of the individuals involved in the relationship.

This phenomenon generates great discomfort in the person who suffers from it and in extreme cases it can become the origin of alterations psychological disorders such as anxiety disorders, eating behavior disorders or OCD, in addition to generating dysfunctions sexual.

• You may be interested: "What are personal insecurities and how can you deal with them?"

2. sexual performance insecurities

Insecurities in sexual performance are also common in polyamorous relationships, as one person can often consider that you are not as good in bed as any of the other members of the relationship.

Again, this can affect the mental health of the affected person, her self-esteem and even cause dysfunction. based on self-fulfilling prophecy and anticipatory anxiety, due to the complex you may feel about other people.

• Related article: "Do you really know what self-esteem is?"

3. Social pressure

Although Western societies are becoming more inclusive and tolerant, polyamorous relationships are not entirely accepted in our environment, since some people consider them as unacceptable perversions or sexual dynamics unnatural, judging them from a very moralistic and conservative point of view. And this has implications for the way in which polyamory is lived, since there are many who try to hide that this is their sexual relationship model.

This pressure, which can be more or less explicit or evident, can appear even in friends, not only in relatives or co-workers, which often pushes them to want to hide a relationship of the type polyamorous. And this greatly limits the possibilities of expression of affection and appreciation for intimate contact.

4. sexual incompatibilities

Although it is generally considered, through a series of topics and stereotypes, that polyamorous relationships favor sexual encounters. and allow free rein to all kinds of fantasies in which all members of the relationship take part, the reality is very different. Sometimes it even happens that polyamory decreases the desire to have sex with these people.

In many polyamorous relationships there are certain incompatibilities in the sexual sphere, since it is easier for at least one person to feel excluded from the fantasies or the type of sex that other people like.

And it is that, since there are more people involved in the same polyamorous relationship, it is more common that in the long run various interests collide with each other, tastes or hobbies, both in the sexual field and in any other part of human behavior, especially if there is a problem of communication.

5. Jealousy

jealousy they are one of the most common phenomena in open or polyamorous relationships; These usually occur because a person interprets that the other members of the couple do not pay much attention to him or maintain a special relationship between them.

Although polyamory is theoretically based on the absence of jealousy or toxic behavior of any kind, in many cases Jealousy also appears, and causes the sexual-affective relationship to be damaged, as well as communication between people.

• You may be interested: "Sexual self-esteem: silence the mind and awaken the body"

How does sexology work in polyamorous relationships?

Sexology provides very valuable emotional management and self-knowledge strategies and techniques in polyamory cases, because Many of the alterations of a sexual nature that at first appear to be of a physiological nature actually have psychological causes. based on some of the problems we have seen (or several of them combined). Thus, some of the forms of intervention used in people who are in a polyamorous relationship are:

• Exercises of acceptance and appreciation of one's own nudity to reinforce self-esteem.
• Training in communication skills in the sexual-affective field, to prevent the fact of maintaining many taboo topics from damaging the relationship.
• Intervention in psychological root sexual dysfunctions that may have already been established in the person, and communication of guidelines to follow so that all members of the relationship collaborate and the person can overcome the problem with greater ease.
• Coping techniques for anxiety in the face of the experience of having the polyamorous relationship public and or having to keep it a secret.

Looking for sexology services?

If you want to go to sex therapy sessions to face and overcome problems like the ones you have seen here through sexology, get in touch with us. In UPAD Psychology and Coaching we can help you.