Will your relationship hold up this summer?

Summer is the season of the year that reflects more breakups of couples, according to statistics.

These breaks are found at the beginning of summer or just after it. Are you curious to know the causes and what to do if you are in that critical situation?

• Related article: "The 5 types of couples therapy"

Most frequent causes of couple breakups

Below we are going to detail the most frequent causes that can precipitate the breakup of a couple. It is important to keep in mind that each couple is different, however, Sometimes patterns are repeated that have a solution and, therefore, the best keys for each problem posed are also exposed.

1. Accumulation of unresolved issues in the couple

It is possible that unresolved conflicts accumulate in the routine, either due to lack of time or because one or both members of the couple prefer to "forget the issue" thinking that this way it is resolved.

During the holidays you undoubtedly spend more time with your partner, and These unresolved conflicts are likely to surface

. This will cause a "snowball" in which the reproaches will add up and will undoubtedly increase the frustration of both. After all, having the initial approach of enjoying quality time as a couple to watching expectations break will cause more disappointment than at any other time of year. This is why many couples end up separating or divorcing after "not ideal" vacations.

Do you think they have really discovered that they are not compatible by spending so much time together or is it because they have not known how to resolve their conflicts during the rest of the year? Indeed, the second hypothesis is the most probable.

Keys to improve your partner in times of crisis

Among the best options are assertiveness techniques. The assertiveness it is a communication style in which the other person is respected without hurting them and without neglecting our own needs, that is, it implies balance and empathy in communication.

Among the opposite poles of assertiveness we find passive communication (saying nothing to avoid conflicts that accumulate) and aggressive communication (exploding when you can't take it anymore in the face of the accumulation of conflicts or reproaches).

Undoubtedly, assertive communication in which each unresolved conflict is spoken correctly will bring the benefit a healthier relationship.

• You may be interested: "The 13 rules of communication in the couple"

2. Relationships that "work" only during the routine

Sometimes there are couple relationships that seem to work only on a day-to-day basis and believe they have "the perfect balance". On many occasions, one or both members of the couple take refuge in other responsibilities, such as work and/or activities without a partner, when you feel that your relationship can be overwhelming and overwhelming.

Without a doubt, if a couple only shares responsibilities such as living together, bills, debts, children... it can be focused that the couple is necessary to face the day to day, and when facing situations that are obligations after all, sometimes to "disconnect" we can procrastinate a bit and escape from the couple and the obligations. One of the examples is spending more time at work and other activities with friends or hobbies alone.

This type of situation is what causes ruptures before summer, somehow in summer we need to "rest, escape and disconnect" and the couple seems to be part of one more obligation...

Keys to improve this situation

Among the best keys is carry out pleasant activities with the couple in all seasons of the year. Although sometimes it is more complicated, without a doubt the benefits will be worth the effort. Pampering the couple's relationship and enjoying with the couple as in the first phase of your relationship will strengthen the union. Finally, you will have a balance between enjoyment and responsibilities within the couple, enjoying the routine and the summer.

• Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love exist?"

3. unrealistic expectations

Sometimes there are unrealistic expectations in one or both members of the couple. These unrealistic expectations can be varied, such as having the idealized partner and getting to know them more thoroughly during the holidays, producing a clash between reality and expectation. This fact will undoubtedly cause frustration and a possible breakup during the holidays.

Other unrealistic expectations are the fact of thinking that summer should be fun in every sense and few obligations, and that being in a couple "we can miss out on better things". Without a doubt, with this belief, the couple will surely break up at the beginning of the summer or in the first weeks. Surely, when they return from the holidays, these people will adjust their expectations again and you will have to weigh whether the change has been worth it or not.

Keys to improve this situation

Knowing the couple well is important, and accepting both what we like and what we don't like. A healthy relationship implies knowing our partner and being okay with how our partner is and not with how we want them to be or become. Among the best guidelines is to have time to talk and talk, without taking things for granted. Accepting that in some things you will agree and in others you will not, and that even so everything can flow well. When you feel that acceptance, expectations will be more adjusted.

If you have seen yourself reflected or reflected in any of these most frequent causes, the specialist psychologists of PsychoAlmería, both online and in person, can help you with more personalized guidelines tailored to your situation.

Author: Verónica Valderrama Hernández, General Health Psychologist.