6 key ideas to understand mourning for the loss of a baby during pregnancy

Grief for the loss of a child in pregnancy, also called "perinatal grief" is one of the most painful things that parents can go through, whether they are new parents or have had other children previously.

Grief consists of a series of psychological symptoms that can also be physical and that affect different way to each parent in a different way, since no one experiences the same mourning in the same way as another person. Of all the variants of dueling, the one that takes place after a miscarriage It is among those with the greatest capacity to destabilize a person's mental health, among other things due to the doubts it raises about how we should feel.

Therefore, in this article we will explain several key ideas to understand and overcome this form of malaise.

• Related article: "The 8 types of mourning and their characteristics"

Understanding grief over pregnancy loss

All bereavements follow a certain process until the person manages to overcome them and the case of bereavements for the loss of a baby are particularly painful, since society tends to minimize them due to ignorance considering that it is a minor duel, since the child has not been known born.

At the same time, it can be difficult to resolve due to the stigma that still exists socially and the fact that some families tend to hide the sad news when a baby dies in the family.

Mourning for the loss of a baby during pregnancy shares some characteristics with the rest of mourning; however, it contains some of its own elements that make it even more painful, such as losing a child, the trauma it entails for new parents and the impossibility of creating or having memories with the deceased.

Either way, it is essential that parents go through all parts of perinatal grief andthat they express their feelings without keeping anything inside assuming that the passage of time "will cure it".

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Psychological strategies to overcome the mourning for the loss in pregnancy

Below we present the main key ideas that can help us understand grief for the loss of a baby in pregnancy.

1. The importance of parting

As in any other duel, to overcome it successfully it is necessary for both parents to say goodbye to the deceased baby, in order to start the process and be aware of going through each stage turning the page. For example, you can carry out a symbolic act such as making a memory box with all kinds of goals for the baby as a goodbye. Likewise, photographs of the baby or other objects can also be saved to have a memory with him. which the duel will pass in a less painful way and decreasing the possibilities of chronicling the discomfort.

• Related article: "Emotional management: 10 keys to master your emotions"

2. Express your own feelings

Expressing the most painful feelings is of great importance during the first phase of grief. In these moments it is vital that each parent can share everything that she feels at all times that nothing is kept inside. And it is that what is known as emotional labeling, either put into words what we feel even when we are bad, helps to overcome the processes linked to anguish and/or trauma.

There are many ways to share the pain that one feels and this can be done both by talking with relatives, friends or psychologists such as writing a diary, painting a picture or through any other form of expression artistic.

It is also important to cry when necessary, without feeling guilty about it (because of that deep-rooted and harmful idea that you have to "be strong" and not discourage the rest of the family) something that must often be reminded of parents, who have a harder time Express oneself.

3. Don't hide what happened

As stated above, perinatal mourning is usually a silent mourning that is not talked about in some families that is usually hidden in public.

To prevent the pain from being even greater, it is advisable to talk at all times about everything that is need and share what parents are feeling with others at all times, even with parents. children.

Talking about the grief with the children and allowing them to overcome it too It is of great importance especially if they are small, cases in which it is necessary to speak openly about the subject without cover or taboos.

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4. Attend support groups

At present there are many support groups and psychology professionals specialized in grief perinatal care that can help us overcome this painful period in our lives in the best possible way. lives.

A support group is a therapeutic space in which we can share everything we feel with other parents who are in the same situation that we and at the same time where we can listen to other testimonies, knowledge or useful strategies that can be of great use to us. aid.

5. take the necessary time

Psychology professionals recommend that each person grieve in their own way, since no two people experience it in the same way. This means take as much time as necessary to get over the pain and not be in a hurry to do so.

In the course of the process we can use the support of friends and family who will help us in everything that we need, as well as our partner, the other person who is suffering the most at this time together with us themselves.

6. professional psychological help

Whenever necessary, it is highly recommended go to a psychologist specialized in emotional problems or those linked to grief and trauma, who will listen to us and give us the support we need.

In the consultation of a psychologist we will also be able to express ourselves with total freedom and it will help us to learn various techniques, strategies and knowledge that help us successfully overcome our process of duel.

In this sense, if you are looking for professional psychological support, do not hesitate to contact us; in Cepsim Psychological Center we will be happy to help you.