"My ex blocked me from everywhere": possible causes and tips

Couple breakups are never easy. Many times they try to end the relationship in an adult and rational way, trying to close the end of an entire period of affection in the least hurtful way. Others, on the other hand, the break is aggressive, leaving a lot to talk about and fix.

The normal thing is that, when breaking up, it is waiting for the tension to pass, for the break to be overcome. It is possible that it was not by mutual agreement and that there is always someone of the two who is waiting to return, something that may not happen.

The other party, who may feel watched or simply wants to cut their losses, decides to cut off any communication, blocking their ex's profile on all social accounts. Many and many see this the day or days after breaking up, and they think: "My ex blocked me from everywhere, why?" Here we will explore this topic.

• Related article: "How to overcome a break of couple?"

"My ex blocked me from everywhere": social networks and couples

Social networks have occupied all aspects of our lives and, unsurprisingly,

have acquired great importance in relationships: the photos hanging out together on Instagram and Facebook, the comments on both Twitter profiles and, of course, the long WhatsApp conversations are samples, empirical facts, that there was once an intimate relationship between two people, of love.

But in the same way that these social networks have facilitated interpersonal communication, serving as a way of letting the world know that you are dating a boy or a girl, they have also have fostered surveillance and control behaviors. These behaviors can sometimes reach toxic levels that are detrimental to both the mental health of the one who watches as that of the one who is watched, especially since she feels that she is not safe. It is very difficult to avoid the temptation to monitor the Facebook status or Instagram photos where the ex-partner is tagged, but there are limits to everything.

It should be said that these behaviors vary depending on who has broken up and who has been left, as well as the type of attachment they may have. A person with avoidant tendencies may, after the breakup, minimize contact with the ex-partner. Others, with an ambivalent or anxious attachment, may show great concern for the other, which translates into higher levels of stress. and behaviors more aimed at trying to recover it, sometimes bordering on persecution and the obsession with trying to establish contact, either as be.

My ex has completely eliminated me

It is normal that, after breaking up, we cannot resist the temptation to find out what the other person is doing. If we still have some way open, be it a social network, a common contact or whatever, it is normal to try to obtain information, however little it may be. Almost everyone, after breaking up, tries to find out how their ex is doing, what they are doing and who they are doing it with.. This is because you cannot so easily forget someone with whom you have shared so much.

Even if both people have agreed not to speak to each other, or one of them has decided to withdraw the floor from the other, the fact of continuing to have In the contact list or as a friend on a social network, the ex serves as a bridge to maintain communication, even if one does not have the intention. This is a problem, especially if, without meaning to, we are seeing what our or our ex is hanging in the start window. Although we have promised ourselves not to gossip about his profile, the fact that he posts things makes us see them passively.

Getting over a breakup is not about completely forgetting our ex, as long as the relationship was healthy and without abuse. After all, the person with whom we just broke up has been part of our life, we have shared many pleasant experiences with him or her and we have invited him or her into our world more intimate. However, if we want to leave behind the tension of the breakup, the sadness and anger that it has caused us, and try to redo our sentimental life, both going towards a new partner and being single, it is best to avoid photos and comments from our ex.

Although curiosity, that is, gossiping about the photos of our ex, is an impediment to overcome the period of rupture, it is important to highlight a feeling that is a direct symptom of not having overcome this process: the uncertainty. Breaking up with a partner, be it courtship or marriage, implies doubts about the future. We psychologists know very well that a sentimental break implies a period of mourning, in which the sadness is combined with uncertainty, manifested in the form of questions such as will I return to love? Will they love me again? What I did wrong will I do it again...

Also It is a real suffering not knowing if the person with whom we have broken up is really going to leave us for good., she will come back but as a friend or if she wants to come back after regretting the breakup. Whatever happens, the fact that he completely blocks us is a sign that he really wants to cut his losses, it is a way of telling us that she is no longer interested in us and, although it seems counterintuitive, it is a good sign. It is something positive because, to the extent that he prevents us from gossiping about him again, we will be freer, spending less time thinking about him or her.

The breakup is a very emotionally painful time for both parties. They both feel stress, tension from not knowing what the other will or will not do. The best way to shorten the life of these emotions is to stop being exposed to the stimulus that causes them, which is any photograph, audio or comment that comes from the ex-partner.

• You may be interested in: "12 tips to better manage couple arguments"

Possible reasons why your ex blocked you

The reasons why our ex-partner has blocked us from all sides can basically be summed up in the following pointsAlthough they can also be interpreted as advice applicable to ourselves that will motivate us to block our partner and speed up the breakup process.

1. Stop being exposed to the ex

It is quite likely, especially if he or she was the one who broke up, that the other party will continue to see images of us even though they are not looking for them.

I mean, let's imagine the situation where she still has us added to Instagram. Every time we post a photo, he or she will see it, and we will remind them of our existence, with all that that implies.

To avoid having to be exposed to us, the best thing she could have done was to block us on social media, not with an evil intent, but rather with the intent to better deal with the pain.

2. not to torture yourself

Related to what we have talked about human curiosity, it is possible that our ex has blocked us because He was constantly looking at our social networks, watching what we did and what we didn't do.

This is what we call “stalk”, which is basically the Anglo-Saxon term for “harass or prowl”, although not in the sinister sense of the word.

Being aware of how a person who has just left us is doing is something that does not leave a good body, because you will still feel something. That is why, in a rational act, he has blocked us to stop torturing himself by looking at our profile.

3. feels watched

As we have already seen It is common that, after a breakup, you watch a little what the other person is doing. As long as she doesn't use that to commit crimes or convince herself that there will be a reconquest (let her be happy and free!) it is normal to look a little bit at what she is doing.

The problem is that the other party may be aware that you are watching them and they don't like it. As a free person that she is, she has decided to block you to prevent you from continuing to look at what she is posting.

This is not an immature act. You have every right to select who sees and who doesn't what they post. The fact that you have gossiped a bit about her profile is not immature either, as long as you haven't put nasty comments on him or have opened his chat over and over again.

4. to move on

It is possible that it is a mixture between the three previous causes, combined with the idea that if he cuts off all relationship with you, he will not be able to move on.

And whatsapp?

Although they are all social networks, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook are not the same as WhatsApp and Telegram. The first three are networks that we could consider biographical, that is, in them we publish our status, our photos, we share content and posts. Instead, Whatsapp and similar networks are more used as instant messaging networks. Yes, we can share photos and content, but the main use is to have conversations.

It is relatively easy to block a person in biographical networks, especially to prevent you from accessing more revealing content, such as photos with your new partner. This is done, as we have said before, either to prevent us from seeing it or because it does not want to be tempted to see our photos.

However, things are different with instant messaging applications, since they are more personal services and the place where practically the entire history of our relationship: the messages of good morning love, good night baby, all kinds of photos (including erotic ones) and, especially in the most recent messages, the chronicle of a nothing ending pleasant.

Deciding if it is to delete our ex from WhatsApp or not is a very complicated decision, and it depends on the use that is given to this network together with how the break is being carried out. It is said that maintaining contact with the ex-partner, even if it is in the form of keeping their contact just in case, is something that can inhibit the process of overcoming the breakup. That is why, generally, it is recommended to break contact even in this way.

It is especially advisable to do this if we are one of those who do not stop reviewing over and over again the very long conversation that we have had with him or her. This can bring to mind pleasant memories, but also tense situations, especially the most recent messages. This can cause us a lot of emotional pain, being unable to get out of the past and behaving in a very pathological, like so-called detectives trying to figure out when the relationship went wrong, and if we can do something to return.

As a final point, removing the phone number, whether he or she has blocked us or not, is highly recommended. This is because it will prevent, when we find ourselves a little down or emotions are not on the surface, let's call, let's tell him that we regret everything half crying, asking in a thousand and one ways, all of them humiliating, return. The best thing is to put distance and time, and the best thing to achieve is to break communication, especially if there was too much tension..

If that person has to come back, or wants to fix things when there is calm, everything will come in due time. What we cannot do is become obsessed in case they have blocked us or stopped blocking us, nor should we trust that everything will be miraculously resolved. Life is a river whose waters know that they are going to end up in the sea, but they do not know how the path will be. Love is like the sea, it will come, whether it is going back with our ex or dating a new person.

Bibliographic references:

• Blight, M.G., Ruppel, E.K. & Jagiello, K. (2019). “Using Facebook Lets Me Know What He is Doing:” Relational Uncertainty, Breakups, and Renewals in On-again/ Off-again Relationships, Southern Communication Journal, DOI: 10.1080/1041794X.2019.1641836
• Fox, J., & Tokunaga, R. S. (2015). Romantic Partner Monitoring After Breakups: Attachment, Dependence, Distress, and Post-Dissolution Online Surveillance via Social Networking Sites. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 18(9), 491–498. doi: 10.1089/cyber.2015.0123
• Lukacs, V. (2012). It's Complicated: Romantic Breakups and Their Aftermath on Facebook Facebook. Electronic Thesis and Dissertation Repository.