The tree of worries

I want to present here my analogy of “tree of worries”. We all know that a tree is made up of three main parts: its roots, its trunk and its branches.

What we take to discover is that the volume of the roots is similar to that of its branches. So, a tree has a double crown: one aerial and visible and the other underground and hidden.

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Needs vs. Concerns

Our concerns are closely linked to our needs. In fact, if we consider Maslow's famous pyramid of needs, its author explains that one does not worry about trying to satisfy a higher-level need if its lower-level needs are not met. This translates as follows: it is more pressing to breathe than to drink, to drink than to eat and to feel safe than self-fulfilled...

For this reason, it seems that the gradation of concerns presents itself differently from that of needs. Thus, for example, our most immediate need, that of breathing, except in extraordinary circumstances, does not worry us at all.

A need, understood as a lack or lack, is something passive, while concern is proactive., prepare for action. Worry is literally a pre-occupation, that is, a preparation to deal with satisfying a need or solving a problem.

Concern differs from need because of its anticipatory nature. One may not be hungry because they just ate but worry about what they are going to eat tomorrow despite having the physiological need to eat covered.

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Logic and chronology

Maslow's pyramid is established on a logical criterion: the fact that some needs are more necessary than others. But the tree of pre-occupations can also be understood from a chronological or evolutionary point of view. The first thing we see of the tree is its aerial crown that represents the conditions of the enjoyment of life:.

The baby is worried about improving himself at all times, she is in pure self-realization looking for new body movements every day (turning, sitting, crawling,...), sounds. The baby's concern is her self-realization while her basic needs do not concern him at all, she is in the immediacy, she is in charge of manifesting herself to be attended when something is needed, but she does not anticipate nothing. It is the parents or caregivers who worry about preparing food, clothing... The baby only cares about her self-improvement because she has her other needs covered.

As children we continue to worry about playing and satisfying our needs for movement and curiosity.

Later in adolescence we worry about relationships with friends that bring us affiliation and recognition.

With the end of childhood ends a golden age of carelessness and enjoyment. And finally, we become aware that our conditions of enjoyment (that which makes life worth living), are based on roots hidden from our sight until then: the conditions of possibility of the life we ​​live.

Adulthood is when we begin to take care of ourselves and worry about things that have to do with those conditions of possibility of our life: pay the rent, get food, shelter and for that remuneration... When we say that some children are robbed of their childhood it is usually because they have to worry about their basic security and/or physiological needs in the absence of an adult who assumes that responsibility.

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How far do the roots go?

Even as adults, many people tend to worry only about things that are close to them., while they delegate more distant concerns to others. For example, we usually worry about refueling the tank of the car before we run out of fuel, but we do not worry about whether oil is a non-renewable resource, less and less available or pollutant.

We worry about filling the fridge with food, but not about the fact that thousands of hectares of arable land are lost every year due to erosion due to modern intensive agriculture. We worry about getting our children to school on time but not about the usefulness of the school program. We worry about paying our bills, but not about the economy of the country in which we live. We take the medicines prescribed to us without worrying about the profit interests behind health policies.

We buy consumer goods without worrying about the sustainability of our way of life. In all these cases we assume that worrying about it is the task of people who assume that responsibility and who we consider competent.

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When not worrying is not an option

When some people begin to worry about the conditions of possibility of their existence, for example: about climate change, about the need to save energy, the eventuality of a war, or because the people responsible are incompetent, there is an awareness and a maturation process often painful. We can feel helpless when discovering these new worries, a bit as if the metaphor tree had extended its roots to discover that the conditions of possibility of our life are based on realities that are not as firm as we had hoped.

For some, these fundamental concerns will cease to be through distraction or entertainment. For others, self-awareness may give rise to anxiety, eco-anxiety, or distress and require self-awareness. make real and profound but immediately impossible practical changes in the way of life, for ensure the ability to satisfy needs in a lasting way. To govern your life is to anticipate and act so that we do not lack anything essential, it is to worry in the good sense of the word.

In conclusion

If you feel worried about threats of drastic changes in your life, your concerns may be legitimate and deserve to be heard and taken into account. It can be difficult to share certain concerns, even in therapy, but I encourage you to do so in order to find a solution.