How to regain self-confidence? 5 key insights

Much of the good things we can do in our lives do not depend so much on our innate abilities, but the way in which we believe in our possibilities to face challenges.

In other words, almost no one succeeds in their most important projects simply because they have a talent. It is more important to have a mixture of luck (which, we will not deny it, influences) and self-confidence, a psychological disposition that allows us to pass from wishes to facts, by getting down to business construction site. In fact, without this factor we won't even consider too many projects to begin with.

Now, the level of self-confidence is not fixed, but it comes and goes depending on our experiences and the way we interpret them. So that... How to regain self-confidence if we stop enjoying its beneficial influence due to self-esteem problems? Let's see several recommendations to promote this change of mental framework that allows us to believe in ourselves again.

• Related article: "6 good tips (and habits) to boost your self-esteem"

What is self confidence?

One of the best-known phenomena in the world of psychology is the so-called self-fulfilling prophecy effect. Basically, it is a concept that serves to indicate the way in which many times the simple fact of anticipating that something will happen increases the chances that the predicted event will occur, or at least one very similar.

Let us think, for example, about what can happen to us if, going down the street, we walk past Lots of people sitting on a low wall and for some reason we think they'll find our way of acting weird. walk; surely, we will try to take "conscious" control of our legs and the walk will be something spectacular, strange to the eye.

Well, with self-confidence something very similar happens. The fact of trusting in our possibilities can be harmful if we have a very inflated self-esteem that leads us to overestimate our virtues and abilities, but in most cases, it helps us to get closer to our goals and to progress in our personal lives and professional.

Thus, self-confidence is a phenomenon linked to self-esteem that predisposes us to take the first steps to carry out complicated tasks or that pose a challenge.

Unfortunately, there are many situations in life that are capable of reducing our self-confidence. Doesn't have to be a sudden decline, it can be gradual, as often happens with aging. However, this tendency can be counteracted by adopting useful habits to regain self-confidence.

• You may be interested in: "Self-fulfilling prophecies, or how to make yourself a failure"

How to regain self confidence

Here are some tips that, once incorporated into your daily life in the form of habits, will significantly increase the chances that your self-confidence will be strong again. Of course, none of them is enough by itself to achieve this goal, so it is best that you change several of these and adapt them to your way of life and personal and professional context.

1. Create schedules

The first thing to do is break with the passive attitude towards life of someone who has lost self-confidence. This will get you activated so that, little by little, the idea of ​​launching yourself into doing things that you didn't think you were capable of will seem less crazy to you.

So, start by setting simple guidelines to structure your day-to-day and maintain regularity in the way you distribute activities week after week. It is good that you dedicate yourself exclusively to this first step for about a month. Once consolidated in your routine, it will be much easier for you to do the following.

Also, although it may seem like a small thing, this first milestone is already a reason to see yourself with better eyes; After all, most people do not put this philosophy of discipline into practice, which brings them some problems that you will be avoiding from that moment on.

2. Get moderate exercise

Along the same lines of getting going, regular exercise helps a lot. Not only will it make you feel better physically and it will allow you to avoid part of the risk of suffering from diseases. Also, in a few months or even weeks, the evidence that you are being able to break your own records will appear revealed in the shape of your body.

3. Socialize as equals

Another aspect of life that serves to regain self-confidence is to stop seeing conversations as moments in which others test us, or in which we can make a fool of ourselves. Think that you are not there to please, and that you are also perfectly capable of finding ways not only to show who you are, but to get to know your interlocutors and assess whether it is worth dedicating your time.

4. Learn to identify self-sabotaging thoughts

Going to rebuild your self-confidence implies making an effort, exposing yourself even a little to situations in which we can feel vulnerable because there are always challenges to solve. This makes it very easy to hold on to excuses for not moving forward.

To avoid this, take a small notepad with you and remember to pay attention to your thoughts when you focus your attention on those goals that await you. If any of them are an excuse to let it be, write it down and try to remember it so that it is not a threat again due to exposure to temptation.

5. Mark yourself a personal project

Think of a project that you can dedicate yourself to for months or years, plan it, and execute it spending some time each week. It is important that progress is easy to measure and that if you do it well it is cumulative.

For example, learn a language self-taught, start a small business parallel to your job usual work, learn a form of art or craft that you can master and perfect, etc.

Are you looking for psychological assistance?

Having professional help is always a great help when it comes to reinforcing self-esteem and stopping having self-confidence problems. If you are interested in this option, you can count on our team of psychologists at the center UPAD Psychology & Coaching, located in Madrid (Calle Rey Francisco, nº 27). To see our contact information, do click here.

Bibliographic references:

• Judge, T. TO.; Bono, J. AND. (2001). "Relationship of core self-evaluations traits—self-esteem, generalized self-efficacy, locus of control, and emotional stability—with job satisfaction and job performance: A meta-analysis." Journal of Applied Psychology. 86 (1): p. 80 - 92.
• Miranda, C. (2005). «Professional self-esteem: a mediating competence for innovation in pedagogical practices» (PDF). Iberoamerican Journal on Quality, Efficacy and Change in Education 3(1).
• Olsen, J.M.; Breckler, S.J.; Wiggins, E.C. (2008). Social Psychology Alive (First Canadian ed.). Toronto: Thomson Nelson.