What to do when your partner leaves you? 7 psychological keys

Although love is one of the most incredible experiences that people can experience, Heartbreak is undoubtedly a traumatic experience that can affect our mind and behavior. In fact, grieving is a process that takes place after a loss, whether it be a loved one who passes away, a job or a relationship breakup.

Heartbreak is a necessary and painful process that, despite being universal, each person experiences it in their own way.

• Related article: “Grief therapy: psychological help to face goodbye”

What to do when your partner leaves you

Especially if they have left us, this process can be a difficult experience to go through and can mean a great challenge, because our self-esteem can suffer the consequences and the pain can be difficult to drive. And although at the beginning of the break it often seems that this suffering will never end, our brain is a flexible organ, with the ability to reorganize itself and adapt to the environment. Over time it is possible to rebuild our lives, move on and, ultimately, regain well-being and be happy again.

If you find yourself in this situation and you feel identified with what you have just read, in this article We have prepared a series of tips that will help you overcome a breakup, especially if you have been left. So that you can face this stage of your life in the best way.

1. accept the situation

The first step to overcome a breakup is to accept the situation, otherwise it will not be possible to move on or recover well-being. Although it may seem obvious, in practice, many people continue to cling (even without realizing it) to the hope that everything is a fiction, that in reality the relationship continues or that it goes through a small pause due to a misunderstanding. But this only serves to create more emotional pain in the long run.

Acceptance is key to any change process and non-acceptance acts as a barrier between us and our happiness, preventing us from adapting to the new reality.

Accepting this situation is not easy, but it is necessary for us to find ourselves again and empower ourselves in the face of life. If we don't, anger invades us and resentment will not let us move forward. This does not mean that we cannot experience some negative emotions such as frustration; however, we must adopt a compassionate mindset towards ourselves and towards what has happened to us. In this sense, will and time must do their job.

Acceptance often comes from understanding the facts, so understanding that this phenomenon is painful and is part of life also helps to look to the future and not get stuck in the past. Understanding that love is not a linear process but that there may be relapses can help us overcome the most difficult moments when they have left us.

• Acceptance comes after overcoming a series of stages. In our article “The 5 phases to overcome the mourning of the breakup of a couple” we explain them to you.

2. focus on you

One of the main problems that we can suffer when they leave us is not focusing on ourselves. Many times, when we are in a relationship, we get used to being with someone and we can suffer a certain degree of emotional dependence. Being single is a great opportunity to take time for ourselves, to fight for our personal development and for what really makes us feel good.

When you get in tune with yourself and fight for your desires and concerns, you improve your mental well-being and your emotional balance. This helps to improve self-esteem and to choose a partner freely, not based on an inner void that we do not know how to cover in any other way. Although it is not easy to admit it, many people do not know how to be alone and seek to fill the void they feel. with someone else, without stopping to correct their own mistakes or strengthen their self-esteem, affected after the breaking off.

3. Surround yourself with friends and avoid isolating yourself

When the relationship ends, the daily routine and sharing a large part of our life with that person will change.. Getting used to your affection and letting go of those intimate moments is usually the hardest thing to overcome. In these moments of solitude, it is when we should surround ourselves with friends and loved ones the most.

Relationships are essential to our happiness, especially in these hard times. If we're in company, we'll make more plans, share our thoughts with others, have more fun, meet new people, and ultimately feel better.

4. Stay active and distracted

In addition to surrounding yourself with friends, it is good that you have plans and goals, and that you do the activities that they make you feel good, which will allow you to release some neurochemicals related to pleasure and happiness (endorphins, serotonin, etc.) and will make you have fun times.

Practicing physical exercise, studying what you like or going to the movies will help you not fall into sadness and inactivity, which can anchor you in your negative thoughts and your suffering.

5. Do not blame yourself

All of us at some point in our lives have gone through this, but no one dies of heartbreak. While it is true that when our partner leaves us, they can make us feel guilty about how the relationship has gone, Actually, couples are made up of two people and, generally, when they break up, both are partly to blame. You may have made a mistake at some point, but you are human and you must accept it as part of life. After all, no one is perfect.

6. Abandon the role of victim

Now, just because you don't blame yourself doesn't mean you should adopt the role of victim.. In fact, it is not positive that you feel sorry for yourself and adopt this role, since blaming the other person for what happened is not the solution either. In these cases, there is only one way to recover well-being, and that is to get hooked on the life and connect with your own needs and desires, that is, fight for your own development staff.

7. Go to psychological therapy

On occasions, some people may have serious difficulties in overcoming a breakup as, after the breakup, some member may still be in love. In these cases, sadness and anxiety may be some of the symptoms that appear, along with others such as lack of appetite, weight loss, demotivation and isolation, changes in sleep patterns and the inability to enjoy things that were considered pleasurable, among others.

Although in the initial stages of the rupture these symptoms may be normal, they are not if they last over time. If after the first few weeks the person is unable to rebuild their life and overcome the lack of love, they may need professional help to learn tools to help you overcome the bad moment what you are going through, put aside your obsessions, learn social skills to meet new people and, ultimately, recover well-being and happiness.

The psychotherapy process applied to these cases allows progress in many different aspects, such as:

• Strengthen Emotional Intelligence to find the true causes of the discomfort felt.
• Develop habits that enhance emotional balance.
• Facilitate an interpretation of the facts that is not biased towards pessimism.
• Learn from mistakes thanks to the ability to face what happened without trying to deny uncomfortable aspects of the relationship.
• combat the psychological rumination focused on memories of the breakup.