The because of the causes

If I had to choose a question that usually comes to mind recurrently in the most arduous and complicated moments of our existence, for me that would be none other than the unknown that begins with a “why?”.

If you have decided to start reading this article, you have probably been motivated by the interest that the question in question arouses. Well, especially for you, this reflection is important.

• Related article: "Personal Development: 5 reasons for self-reflection"

Search for the answers about everything

Why has this happened to me? Why did he leave? Why don't you love me? Why am I not able to get it? Why do I fall into the same trap over and over again? Why don't people like me? Why is the world like this? Why do people behave that way? Why, why, why???

As a defense mechanism, we try to understand in a more or less logical way, more or less fair, more or less rational, a world that on many occasions has little to do with logic, fairness or rationality. But as if it were a bureaucratic request, it is extremely difficult for us to skip that first step of the procedure. That phase in which we unequivocally understand that something is failing, it is not going as we expected or it is just like that and there is nothing left to do but accept it, however absurd it may seem to us.

Such is the case of children who, having everything, do not know how to value anything and who, faced with any daily setback, are unable to overcome the resulting level of frustration. Or those couples, who seem to be perfect, overnight make us perplex at their incomprehensible breakup. There is also the why of those who are young, beautiful and slender, as well as insecure, pusillanimous or conformist. Or the why of the talented young man who continually dedicates himself to wasting his talent, preferring other channels by which to guide his destiny.

There is also the why of the boss, who likes to surround himself with subjects instead of critics, for the greater glory of his ego in the face of the success of his company. Or why, enjoying innumerable strengths, he fears the worst omens that may never come, in many areas of his existence... and before all of them, something even deeper could be raised and incomprehensible at the same time, the why of my why.

Get out of the vicious circle of thought

Following the usual script of a literary article, now would be the precise moment in which he would agree to offer the pertinent answers to the questions raised, but I am afraid that whoever expected such a thing at this time will be beginning to feel a certain sense of disappointment as they move forward on These lines.

Indeed, I don't have a unique, genuine or original answer that it can offer an answer to the innumerable list of "whys" raised so far and even if it did, I doubt that it could offer peace or satisfaction to anyone who maintained such expectations. If that has been your case, it may be convenient for you to sharpen your senses and pay even more attention, if possible, to what follows this paragraph.

• You may be interested in: "How do we think? The two thought systems of Daniel Kahneman"

Go beyond the reasons

When we ask ourselves why, we start a journey. A journey that takes us back to our past. We replayed the horror movie that led us to consider the need to find an explanation to such misfortune, because when things go well, few are those who consider the "why" of it and if they do, they do not usually spend too much time preparing the pertinent analysis.

My question for the former would be what do you expect to find there, in the past, that you haven't already found? This figurative trip to the past, to what we were, did or lost will only justify or, in other words, excuse our behavior. present, irrevocably condemning us to repeat our fateful destiny over and over again, due to the immobility that follows this type of analysis.

If what we want is to leave an episode behind, overcome a limitation, grow, advance and develop, We cannot settle for an explanation, with a "why". We will have to look for arguments for change, motivations and illusions that implement new actions, which in turn can produce new results, because if we are aware of something, it is that where these “whys” take us is not where we want arrive.