Feeling of loneliness: causes and how to avoid it

One of the great evils of the 21st century is the feeling of loneliness, a problem that affects many more people than we think.

We would be surprised to discover the number of individuals who, despite being surrounded by people, constantly experience this sensation. We are going to discover why this phenomenon occurs so frequently and what are its psychological repercussions.

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What is the feeling of loneliness?

As human beings we are gregarious beings. This means that we have a tendency to live in community, close to our peers, but this is not only reduced to physical closeness, which is also important, but we need interact regularly with other people if we do not want to experience the feeling of loneliness.

Therefore, the feeling of loneliness would be an individual's perception of lacking adequate or quality interpersonal relationships, which makes them feel isolated from the world and not having covered some vital needs for their full development as a human being, which generates unpleasant sensations on a psychological level, and may also be accompanied by discomfort physical.

We may think that nowadays, thanks to new technologies, it is very easy to interact with other people, and this is partly true. The question is that on many occasions the interpersonal relationships that are generated are not of good quality., being too superficial and therefore failing to satisfy the socialization needs of the person.

This is compounded by the general lack of time that many individuals suffer from, working long hours and returning home late and tired, which leaves them without energy and without time to enjoy a moment of interaction with their family or friends, increasing more and more the feeling of loneliness.

The conclusion is that this feeling occurs when we do not have enough quality social relationships, but it is important to take into account the individual differences of each one, since some people will need a large number of interactions while others will be “satisfied” with only a few.

Characteristics

When we talk about the feeling of loneliness we can talk about various symptoms or characteristics that are always accompanied by it. They would be next.

Isolation

A person who is experiencing the feeling of loneliness The first thing you will notice is that you feel isolated from the world, from all the people around you. (even when she's not physically alone, as we've already seen).

Dejection

Likewise, the experience you are experiencing will make you plunge into a spiral of sadness, and you may experience depressive symptoms if the situation lasts too long.

Exhaustion

Another characteristic that identifies the feeling of loneliness is feeling an absolute lack of energy (also linked to the symptoms of depression), which It can also influence the performance and performance of the person both in their job and in their daily tasks, becoming inefficient.

Concern

Obviously all this is going to generate a concern in the individual, experiencing a feeling of not being satisfied with the stimuli you receive and needing a change in such important aspects of his life as relationships with his peers.

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How to stop feeling alone

We already know the main factors that accompany the feeling of loneliness. The main problem is that these characteristics act as a vicious circle, so that the more exhausted, depressed, isolated and restless a person feels, the fewer chances there are that you decide to make decisions that lead you to lower the levels of all those sensations.

It is therefore essential to break this loop and start carrying out behaviors, however small they may be, that stimulate the interpersonal activity of the individual, whether it be a small talk on the phone with a friend or family member, a visit, a plan of leisure etc All these social activities generate well-being, releasing a series of neurotransmitters in our brain that will gradually alleviate anxiety and make us feel better.

A very common practice that many people decide to carry out to leave behind the feeling of loneliness is start a new free time activity of a social natureIn other words, it allows you to meet new people, with the advantage of starting these interactions knowing that at least they have a common link, the hobby for which they have met.

In addition, these groups offer another positive factor, and that is that they often start a dynamic of sharing for a while after class, talking and even going to a nearby place to continue talking while enjoying a drink, situations that little by little allow you to get to know your neighbor in depth and that can lead to end up forging a lasting friendship beyond the hobby for which they met.

In short, the key would be to act, to take a proactive attitude, to have an activity that little by little changes the dynamics of the few interpersonal relationships that are being had. Obviously, this is often not easy, since the will to change is needed, but also possibilities for it, and without support people in the close circle it will be more difficult to achieve the aim.

But we have already anticipated that not all people have the same predisposition to experience the feeling of loneliness, and there are many personal and environmental variables. that modulate the probability of its appearance but also the resources available to alleviate it, and one of the most important is the stage of life in which the disease is located. subject. We are now going to focus on the most relevant in this matter: old age.

The feeling of loneliness in the elderly

It is evident that not all people have the same possibilities to get out of the circle we were talking about, either due to a lack of resources, a lack of a social circle to lean on and of course there is the question of age. And it is that It is in old age when more people experience the feeling of loneliness, due to the progressive isolation suffered by many elderly people., either due to the death of their life partners, their friends, lack of family visits, life in residences, etc.

Within the elderly, moreover, it is women who are most affected by the feeling of loneliness, mainly due to their greater age. life expectancy, which makes them more likely to survive their partners, ending their last years alone, with the consequences that this entails.

The age factor can be aggravated if the person suffers from any physical ailment that prevents mobility, facilitating their isolation at home and therefore complicating social contact. Likewise, it may be the case, more and more frequently, of ending their days in a nursing home if the person are dependent and their relatives cannot take care of their own homes, a very common situation in our days.

As a final note regarding the question of age, an unexpected fact: after old age, the stage of life in which there is a greater incidence of the feeling of loneliness is in the adolescence, since it is a time of great changes at all levels and sometimes it is not easy to achieve a balance between the interpersonal relationships that one would like to have and those that done they have.

Avoid loneliness in others

At this point, one may think that the feeling of loneliness is not something that is affecting us personally, since it is possible that at times Occasionally we feel alone, but it is not the general trend, since we have a series of reasonably satisfactory interactions with other people.

The point is that it is possible that we have not stopped to think that perhaps some people around us are suffering this evil in silence without anyone collaborating to remedy it. And it is that, we have already seen how difficult it is to get out of the spiral of isolation in which people trapped in a feeling of loneliness plunge.

Therefore, it would be very positive for all of us to do the mental exercise of thinking about which people, perhaps elderly relatives (sometimes not as much as we might think), or old friends whom we haven't heard from for a while, may be experiencing an unpleasant feeling of loneliness.

If we identify someone who fits this pattern, It would be great if we gave them a call and suggested they have a coffee or a walk together.. In reality, the activity is not important, since the important thing is to share a pleasant moment in company and give them back what they lost one day without really knowing why: contact with another being human.

Bibliographic references:

• Doblas, J.L., Conde, M.P.D. (2018). The feeling of loneliness in old age. International Journal of Sociology. CSIC.
• Karnick, P.M. (2005). Feeling lonely: Theoretical perspectives. Nursing science quarterly. SAGE Journals.
• Scalise, J.J., Ginter, E.J., Gerstein, L.H. (1984). Multidimensional loneliness measure: the loneliness rating scale (LRS). Journal of Personality. Taylor &Francis.