Submissive people: what 10 traits and attitudes characterize them?

Kindness and empathy are characteristics that we value positively in others, but if they are taken to the extreme, they can fall into a chronically submissive attitude. This is a problem not only because it generates discomfort in those who suffer from this tendency to submission, but also because it predisposes others to adopt a role of dominance or, at least, leadership when making decisions decisions.

And it is that the useful or problematic of certain psychological characteristics also depends on what they mean when relating to others. Our well-being does not simply emanate from us to the outside, but also has to do with the effects that our attitudes have on others and how they affect us. So that, let's see the characteristics of submissive people to make it easier to identify these situations and deal with the problem.

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The psychological traits of submissive people

Next we will see what characterizes submissive people

, and what this implies in their day to day, in their habits and in their way of relating to other people.

1. Conflict avoidance

Submissive people tend to avoid confrontations, no matter how small. That means they usually make sacrifices to prevent these "clashes of wills," spending time, effort, and resources so that others don't get upset.

Sometimes these types of people dislike even the idea that the other person feels impatience or anger. This indicates that this submissive attitude does not usually respond to a desire to exploit the other person (seeking their protection or their influence). but a link of total domain is generated, and even mental.

2. a painful past

Although it does not occur in all cases, many times submissive people have behind them a past full of mistreatment or bullying. this past makes it learn that others will attack at the slightest, for any excuse, with the slightest trace of frustration or anger. In turn, this encourages others to accept the dominant role that is granted to them.

3. Discreet personality profile

Submissive people tend not to want to attract too much attention. This is something that it is done to avoid conflicts and humiliating moments in which any aggression initiated by others cannot be responded to proportionally.

4. Tendency to shyness

Submissive people don't have to be introverts, but they are usually shy. That is, they think almost obsessively about the image they give, and about what others think about them, often the result of knowing that they are submissive and, therefore, not valued socially or with many possibilities of causing a bad feeling. first impression.

This means that they will hardly start informal conversations with strangers, for example, and sometimes it is even difficult for them to initiate formal dialogues with people they do not know good. Once again, this is a consequence of that attempt to keep a low profile.

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5. Creating dependency links

submissive people they adopt the role of someone who needs protection, and that is why it is common for them to establish asymmetric relationships based on dependency.

In pathological cases, such as those in which it has been diagnosed Dependency Personality Disorder, this can reach the extreme in which nothing is done that does not have to do with being close to someone who fulfills the role of "protector" and whom it is customary to serve in everything.

6. Lack of assertiveness

Submissive people talk relatively little about their own views, don't spend much time giving their opinions, and they prefer to focus on what others want or need. Sometimes it is difficult to know what their motivations are, because they can avoid talking about them explicitly. In general, this denotes a clear lack of assertiveness.

• Related article: "Assertive people: 10 characteristics they have in common"

7. They try to please others

Another of the psychological characteristics of submissive people is that they don't mind revealing their status as a "dominated party" in a relationship. Although they can sometimes adopt a passive aggressive role, they avoid disobeying orders so as not to encourage fights and disputes.

8. contracted nonverbal language

Submissive people, because they try not to attract attention, make their body as discreet as possible through their postures. It is common for them to keep their eyes lowered, for their arms and legs to move slightly outward with respect to the vertical axis of their body, or for them to hunch their backs.

9. They say they feel bad relatively often

Since there is no way to contradict anyone, the only way they have to give themselves a break is to make their body go to the extreme. That is why they tend to get more tired, or to get sick more frequently: they go through more moments of stress and efforts than most of the people around them, since concessions are rarely made to them same.

10. they speak little

Not only is there a tendency to make little contact with strangers; In addition, there is a tendency to talk less, and when you do, the conversations tend to be about unimportant topics. In this way, attention is not forced to be totally displaced towards themselves, something that would happen if, for For example, anecdotes from childhood are narrated or if it is explained what are the life projects that are intended to be pursued forward.

How to overcome the tendency to remain submissive to others?

The most recommendable and, in general, effective way to overcome this tendency to submission consists of go to psychotherapy. With the professional support of a psychologist you will have emotional management strategies that reinforce the self-esteem, enhance assertiveness and help to get out of that vicious circle of constant submission to others. the rest. The process usually lasts a few months and with good results, but for it to work you have to go to periodic sessions without interrupting therapy.