The 80 best sarcastic phrases (ironic and funny)

Sarcasm is a form of expression where we can tell a camouflaged truth. Either to avoid a scandal or because it is necessary to get away from an annoying person.

• We recommend you read: "The 60 best phrases (and reflections) of famous humorists"

Best sarcasm phrases

We don't always have to take life so seriously and sometimes to get out of an uncomfortable situation, humor can be very useful, that's why we present this series of best sarcastic quotes.

1. I must confess that I was born at a very young age. (Groucho Marx)

We actually understand life when we are already too adult.

2. The most effective laxative in the world is called "we need to talk."

A phrase that gives us goosebumps.

3. Hate your job? Why didn't you say it? There is a support group for that. Everyone calls and they see each other at the bar. (Drew Carey)

Remember that you are not the only one going through a similar situation.

4. Just because I don't care doesn't mean I didn't understand you. (Anonymous)

There are situations in which it is better not to get involved.

5. I'm not rude, I just say what others think.

Honesty can be an offense to some.

6. I applaud because it's over, not because I liked it.

There are times where we need to be politically correct.

7. Half the world is made up of idiots, the other half of people smart enough to take advantage of them indecently. (Walter Kerr)

The two types of people that exist in the world.

8. Wisdom comes to us when it is no longer of use to us. (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

When it's too late to put it to the test.

9. I'm so smart that sometimes I don't understand a single word I'm saying. (Oscar Wilde)

It is difficult even to understand ourselves.

10. Three people can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Do you think that secrets cannot be shared?

11. Memory has a gift: it especially remembers what we want to forget.

And we stop remembering the good things.

12. The more I'm with you, the more I want to be alone.

It is always better to stay away from people who are not good company.

13. I would like to be your best stranger.

There are people we just can't tolerate.

14. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to get it without dying. (Woody Allen)

Many people have the desire to live forever.

15. History has taught us that men and nations behave wisely when all alternatives have been exhausted. (Abba Eban)

But first they choose to attack each other.

16. The problem is that people know little, but talk too much. (Kurt Smith)

Instead of appeasing their ignorance they take pride in showing it off.

17. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you're abusing that privilege.

People who, even if they are wrong, want to be right.

18. Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything they learned in school. (Albert Einstein)

The true education is the one that we acquire with the experience.

19. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist is afraid that this is true. (Robert Oppenheimer)

What we think is good is not always the best.

20. Can you help me find something? -What thing? -All the time I wasted with you.

Lost time is not recovered, but we can always move forward.

21. Be careful, one of these days you will call my heart and it will sound busy.

Never expect someone who won't do the same for you.

22. Sometimes I need what only you can give me: your absence. (Ashleigh Brilliant)

It is always advisable to push away those who do not bring positive into your life.

23. Some smoke, some get drunk, some take drugs, and some fall in love. The truth is that everyone destroys themselves in their own way.

When things get out of control, it ends up costing us.

24. Your heart is as busy as your phone line.

A direct way of dealing with someone who enjoys getting the attention of others.

25. I am an expert at pretending that the opinion of others matters to me.

The only opinion that should matter to you is your own.

26. We all carry a child inside. Some of us notice it and others don't. (Jose Villasuso)

Never lose the innocence of your childhood.

27. If I promise I'll miss you, will you go?

If someone doesn't want to leave, do it yourself.

28. I told my mother that she should embrace her mistakes, and she embraced me. (Anonymous)

A stinging truth that is more common than we think.

29. I haven't talked to my wife in years. He didn't want to interrupt her. (Rodney Dangerfield)

When routine takes over a relationship, there is little time left for it to die.

30. I guess I just prefer to see the darker side of things. (Janeane Garofalo)

There are those who cling to their negative vision of life.

31. He may have had too much to drink, but I'll be back to normal tomorrow and you'll still be ugly.

Ugliness is not only on the outside, but also in the personality.

32. Do you want to be productive? Change your personality.

There are times when we need to change ourselves and not the environment.

33. A celebrity is a person who worked hard all his life to become famous, and then wears dark glasses to avoid recognition. (Fred Allen)

Someone who craves fame and then hates it.

34. Anyone knows how to speak obscurely, very few do it clearly. (Galileo Galilei)

Honesty is a quality that very few appreciate.

35. If you think you're too small to be effective, then you've never been in the dark with a mosquito.

Never underestimate what you are capable of.

36. If you don't usually succeed on the first try, skydiving is not for you.

There are things that we simply cannot do and that is not why we are wrong.

37. It's not tears, it's internal detox.

Releasing emotions allows us to heal faster.

38. Sorry, I thought you were the love of my life..Next!

Love is not necessarily for life.

39. I wanted to ask you for your ex's number to form some kind of support group.

A fun way to let someone know that you need to work on their affective responsibility.

40. The only thing that prevents God from sending a second flood is that the first one was useless. (Nicolas Chamfort)

From time to time, the human race needs a lesson.

41. If you marry you will regret it. If you don't get married, you will regret it too. (Soren Kierkegaard)

Who does not know what he wants will never be satisfied.

42. Life is good, you should get one.

Gossips and envious love to get involved in other people's lives.

43. The reason that many portraits are not accurate is that when posing people do not strive to look like their portraits. (Salvador Dali)

Our appearance does not say everything about us.

44. Stupidity always persists. (Albert Camus)

It is a disease that not everyone wants to cure.

45. Human beings are extraordinary. He knows how to identify a stone when he has stumbled upon it for the second time.

When we make mistakes many times it is because we do not want to realize what we are doing wrong.

46. Love now, pay later.

About the wounds that can remain after a failed relationship.

47. Happy are those who expect nothing, because they will never be disappointed.

The best way to not get hurt frequently.

48. I said 'bring me what you want'... and brought me lies (Ray-Charles)

There are people who only seek to take advantage of others.

49. The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working as soon as we get up and doesn't stop working until we enter the office. (Robert Frost)

We never manage to focus on the things we hate.

50. Don't confuse this fake smile and this professional body language. I'd punch you in the throat if I knew I wouldn't lose my job.

Being politically correct doesn't mean we don't want to act violently.

51. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you knew.

Not everyone realizes their flaws.

52. The consequence of not belonging to any party will be that I will annoy everyone. (Lord Byron)

You don't need to join a social group to stand out.

53. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people seem brilliant until they open their mouths. (Steven Wright)

Remember that not all that glitters is gold.

54. I can multitask, but I'm better at avoiding multitasking.

Focus on doing one thing right rather than many things with flaws.

55. Luck is the great ally of my enemies when they succeed.

It seems that some people are luckier than others.

56. Marriage is the principal cause of divorce. (Groucho Marx)

Marriages that do not have the same commitment to the future.

57. The person who asks you to be yourself could not have given you worse advice.

Accept changes when necessary.

58. I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.

Is it better to be right or to come to an agreement?

59. I'm not responsible for what my face does when you talk. (Anonymous)

Our expressions give us away easily.

60. Every time I look at you I have a fierce desire to feel alone. (Oscar Levant)

Loneliness does not have to be an enemy.

61. You can be anything you want; however, in your case you should aim low.

People who don't work on themselves never get far.

62. Careful! Happiness of two, envy of thousands.

Many relationships end because of the envy of others.

63. I have learned to think before acting. So if I hit you, rest assured that I have thought about it and I feel confident to do so.

There are people who do not learn the lessons in a subtle way.

64. I don't hold grudges, but I have a good memory.

We always forget, even if we say we can forgive.

65. The woman who is lucky with men, she does not know how lucky she is.

It is your way of acting that will make you relate well or badly with others.

66. Before I crossed the ocean for you, today I don't even cross my fingers.

There are simply people who are not worth our effort.

67. God gave men a brain and a penis, but unfortunately not enough blood to run both at the same time. (Robin Williams)

A criticism of men who are carried away by their libido.

68. Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it often.

Opinions are like armpits, everyone has them but not everyone smells good.

69. Guys, I don't trust kids. They are here to replace us. (Stephen Colbert)

Children are the future of humanity.

70. If love is blind... Why are underwear so popular? (John Goodman)

Underwear is sacred to charm your partner.

71. Why should we accept sexual advice from the pope? If you know anything about sex, you shouldn't! (George Bernard Shaw)

An interesting critique of the role of religion in our lives.

72. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go to another room to read a book. (Groucho Marx)

Never get carried away by what you see on TV.

73. We have a great government. That's why it cost us so much money...

Governments can be good, although some are there for the power and not for the people.

74. I respect your fucking opinion.

Listening to an opinion does not mean sharing it.

75. It's not that I don't want to know, it's that I don't care.

Choose what you direct your attention to.

76. There must be something wrong with the job, or the rich would have grabbed it by now.

Do you think people with money don't work?

77. Just because you don't answer the phone doesn't mean you're busy. (Anonymous)

There are discussions that it is better to avoid.

78. Tell me, does your pride kiss better than me?

Pride can be an enemy within relationships.

79. Stay with me, I want to be alone. (Joey Adams)

Not all people are good company.

80. You should eat makeup, maybe that way you're also beautiful on the inside. (Anonymous)

I wish makeup was enough to change a person's nefarious personality.