How to know if your ex-partner still loves you

In general, after a breakup, one of the two parties could be intrigued to know if the other person still loves them. Love relationships are a complex subject, and what is obvious is not always what it seems.

Sometimes couples break up and it is in that interval of time in which they remain apart that they realize how much they miss the other person, and they decide to try again. Of course, this is not an exact science, and it is not what happens in all cases.

In this article we will review some of the signs for how to know if your ex still loves you, and we will give some indications on how to proceed in these cases. Of course, we must bear in mind that regardless of our suspicions we must always respect the decisions made by the other person, even if that means cutting off the relationship completely.

• Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"

How to know if your ex-partner still loves you: several signs

The question of how to know if your ex still loves you is answered mainly by looking at the non-verbal signals that the other person sends. As the saying goes, “it is not necessary to speak clearly to tell you that I love you”.

Let's move on then to see what these signs are, but taking into account that love and attraction are not the same; It is very common for an ex-partner to still feel attracted to you and even want to have a relationship again and not do it for love but for feeling alone or for resuming her life as before.

1. stays present

If, despite having ended the relationship, the other person continues to be noticed in your daily life and this is not due to her obligations or responsibilities, this is an indicator that is still attracted to you, and wants you to realize.

For example, if you meet very frequently in some places and this is not explained by the neighborhood in which she lives or the circles of friends she socializes with, this may not always be coincidental.

2. Try not to lose touch

When the other person insists on keeping in touch after the breakup through text messages, calls to ask something trivial, and even contacts of a more indirect nature, such as reacting to publications on your social networks, this suggests attraction. They are an indicator that that person could still have feelings for you..

3. When other people tell you about him or her

This criterion refers to the fact that when some friends that you have in common with your ex-partner start talking to you about that person in a suspicious way, as if they wanted us to do something to resume the relationship, with phrases like "you made a nice couple", among other…

This particular behavior may not be casual, since many times when an ex-partner wants to return, he tries to get others to help him recover the love relationship he had before.

Warning: feeling nervous is normal

You have to be careful not to confuse nerves with a sign of love, in these cases. The uncertainty and ambiguity in which the relationship finds itself (once it has ceased to be a couple) can generate anxiety, and that is independent of whether or not you love the other person.

How should we act in the face of this possibility?

In case of perceiving these signs from our ex-partner it is normal that we can feel confused about it, especially considering the time that has passed since the breakup. The best thing will always be to take things easy, without acting rashly.

We must remember that although these are pretty clear signs that our ex still likes us, there is a possibility that this is not the case. Also, taking the necessary time to reflect on our feelings and if we want to give that person another chance should always be the first step.

After we have determined how we feel about the possibility that that person still likes us is when we proceed to get out of doubt. Making use of assertive communication we will talk with our ex-partner and we raised the possibility of meeting in a quiet place. Once there, we openly expressed our doubt, and we asked him to give us an answer. This will help close that cycle of uncertainty that possibly existed on both sides.

After having the clear answer from the other person, we express our thoughts and feelings about it (those that we have already meditated on previously).

• Related article: "Assertive communication: how to express yourself clearly"

What will happen next?

Having listened to what the other person has to say, and having exposed our position on the matter, we will feel that a weight has been lifted off our shoulders.

Regardless of the answer that the other person gives us, or the answer that we give to him, after that moment it will be much easier to get on with our daily lives, return to our routine or find new ways of living.

Without the anxiety that could be generated by not knowing clearly what was happening, even after having closed that cycle, the relationship with that person could evolve, and we could begin to see it with others eyes. A friendship could develop from that moment, or it could also happen that we realize that it is best for both of us to go our separate ways. In any case, the uncertainty and anguish will dissipate.

It is healthy for us to be honest with what we feel, but at the same time face the reality of things and see them as they are actually happening, and not as we would like them to happen. final considerations

In these cases, the most important thing is to give ourselves the value we have, and not allow our own feelings to play against us. Many times it happens that the person with whom we have fallen in love is negative for our lives, and compromises our mental health. When this happens we must review the facts carefully, avoiding any cognitive biases that may exist, taking into account our feelings towards the other person.

Remember that your peace of mind is not negotiable., and that relationships are there to make us believe as people, not to limit us.

Bibliographic references:

• Fehr, B., Russell, J. (1991). The Concept of Love Viewed From a Prototype Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Laurie, Timothy; Stark, Hannah (2017), "Love's Lessons: Intimacy, Pedagogy, and Political Community," Angelaki: Journal of the Theoretical Humanities, 22 (4): 69–79.