How to communicate better with our family: 5 tips

The family environment is fundamentally based on the way in which family members relate to each other. That is why communicating well or badly within this group can make the difference between creating solid and functional affective bonds, or constantly experiencing disputes, fights and loneliness.

In this article we will look at several guidelines to know how to communicate better with our family. Keep in mind, however, that you will have to implement these steps in your day to day; doing it a few times is useless.

• Related article: "The 8 types of family conflicts and how to manage them"

How to communicate well with family

As much as family members spend time together, that doesn't mean they manage communication with each other properly. In fact, in some cases communication problems become entrenched and the passage of time only aggravates them due to the inertia they bring.

In the event that too much time is no longer spent with the family, it is quite possible that the main communication problem with the family has to do with to do with isolation, that is, the fact of practically never interacting with these people, or doing so very little and through the media digital.

Whether you live in the same home as the rest of the family or not, well, the passage of time does not have to fix anything. That is why it is important to take charge of the situation and take care of the way in which we communicate with fathers, mothers, grandparents, uncles, brothers... Create a full stop and promote change for the better. can make both coexistence and the expression of affection benefit from it almost instantly.

Follow these tips to qualitatively change the way relationships develop between family members.

1. don't take anything for granted

The fact that we have spent a lot of time with our families can create the illusion that we know what each of its members is thinking. For this reason, sometimes the communication block between two people of the same blood is due to a misunderstanding.

The idea that we know a person so well that we don't even need to inquire into how they feel It can do a lot of damage in close relationships.. Humans are complex beings, and therefore our behavior is not always predictable.

• Related article: "Assertive communication: how to express yourself clearly"

2. Break the routine with a conciliatory gesture

A small symbolic detail can make the brother, uncle or grandfather with whom we want to improve communication realize Realize that something has changed and stop assuming that your interaction with us will be governed by the same rules of always.

For example, giving a pat on the back or offering something to drink, depending on how the relationship has been before, can be something new, however insignificant it may seem. Faced with these acts, it is easier to start from scratch and facilitate the possibility of establishing more fluent and honest communication. The following guideline to follow is precisely about the latter.

3. Make honesty your “guiding” value

From the moment you decide to improve communication with your family, it is important to make it clear that honesty becomes a priority in interactions with these people who have seen you grow. The reason is simple: otherwise, the value given to these communication initiatives will be very low, since the family context is one in which greater sincerity and openness is expected. To better connect with family members, it is necessary not to try to hide our vulnerabilities at all costs.

Not being totally transparent at work or with people you just met is not frowned upon, but the family, by definition, is the place where the personal is shared almost everything about one same.

4. put effort into listening

Active listening is a fundamental element in any communicative process, and those that are carried out within the family are no exception to this rule. Sometimes, we tend to fall into the trap that for the simple fact that whoever listens theoretically does not need to talk or move, you can completely disconnect from your surroundings direct your attention towards anything.

This can become a habit that kills any attempt to communicate, because the dialogues in which that only one does their part, nobody likes them and they serve as "punishment" for having tried to start a dispute. conversation.

So that, when the other person speaks, be silent and do not interrupt, but it shows signs that you follow the thread of what is being said and that you are interested, ready to add something extra when it is your turn to speak. Looking into each other's eyes is essential (if it's hard for you, just try not to look away from the other's face, or look down, and the eye contact will be established spontaneously), as well as nodding from time to time, making very brief comments as you go, etc

• You may be interested in: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"

5. Show that you don't judge

The members of a family know each other in a much more intimate way than the rest of the people know each other. Therefore, it is good to remember that those imperfections of others that we recognize are a reflection of the human character of a relative, and something that in other people is usually hidden.

Therefore, it is convenient not to make unfair comparisons: if a brother, a mother or a cousin show imperfect is because we have more opportunities to know them than the rest, not because they are necessarily worse.