5 keys to know if a relationship is going to last

In a fluid and changing world, increasingly individualistic and in which interpersonal relationships tend to be more and more superficial, maintaining a stable relationship over time is a task that can be difficult for a large number of people. people.

Determining if a couple is going to last over time can be highly complex, although some aspects can allow us to partly predict where the relationship is headed. For this reason, we offer you a series of 5 keys to know if a relationship will last.

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How to know if a relationship will last

It is difficult to establish if a couple is going to last or not and for how long, taking into account that each person thinks, feel and act differently and have different needs and conceptions of what it means to be couple. However, as a general rule we can identify some aspects that make a relationship tend to last. Five of them are the following.

1. Relationships of equality, respect and empathy

An essential element for a couple to last and maintain a healthy relationship is that both parties maintain a relationship of relative equality. That is to say, that the two components make an effort, negotiate and know how to find a balance between their own needs and satisfactions and that of the loved one. There must be a give and take, a give and take.

respect and be respectedThat what each one wants is truly considered and taken into account is one of the basic pillars of a good relationship.

For the survival of a relationship, it is necessary to take into account how the other feels based on what we know about him/her and what emotions and thoughts can experience depending on what happens or what we do, even if these issues are not expressed directly. It is about taking into account the other.

The existence of positions of superiority and inferiority in a relationship makes one party feel aggrieved and belittled, weakening the union between the members of the couple. The fact that one person gives everything for the other while the second does not contribute anything, or that one of them always has to give in to the demands of the other causes unhealthy relationships that will end up breaking up in the long run, or causing a lot of suffering in the case of maintaining it due to some kind of dependence.

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2. Together but independent

In many movies and novels we can see or hear the phrase "We are one." Although this phrase is beautiful in the sense that it reflects a feeling of unity with the couple, taking it to the extreme is highly harmful. The people who make up a couple do not stop being independent beings with their own lives. Although spending time together is also essential for the couple to exist as such, it is necessary to maintain the individuality of each of its components.

Do activities separately allows the world to not be limited to a single relationshipIn addition to sharing what each one lives separately is an enriching element that helps to strengthen and introduce novelties in the relationship.

Otherwise, patterns of behavior and even thought that promote a dependency relationship can be established, that can lead to serious problems when there are conflicts or even if one of the members decides to terminate the relationship.

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3. Basic characteristics or values ​​are shared

In the study of affective and romantic relationships, one of the most discussed points is whether it is better predictor of marital happiness to have similar traits or if it is better that there are large differences. Although it cannot be applied to all cases, the conclusion of said debate and of various investigations related to this topic reflects that although it is It is true that characteristics very different from their own can be attractive at first, in general those couples that have elements in common tend to last longer. common.

It is not about being identical or having the same personality, but rather sharing some elements such as expectations regarding what what their union entails, the level of interest in the other or vital expectations and being able to reconcile the characteristics that we differentiate. Contrasting personality traits, for example, usually (we repeat that this is a generalization, there being cases in which the opposite happens) end up destabilizing and wearing down the relationship.

4. Dedicate time and effort

A healthy couple relationship requires that each one have their space, but it is necessary to take into account that the couple is not an accessory in our lives either. It is necessary to spend time in order for it to work correctly.

Spend time together, experience new things, laugh and enjoy each other's sense of humor and company, talk and communicate, having sexual relations and ultimately doing things together and counting on the other is necessary for our relationship endure.

If, on the contrary, you opt for avoiding contact the person will feel unimportant and not valued, wearing down the relationship and having an unfavorable prognosis.

5. There is fluid communication

One of the basic pillars of any relationship as a couple (and even in other types of relationships) is communication. But this should not be understood by talking a lot, but by expressing our doubts, fears, thoughts, beliefs and deep emotions. Communicating how we feel or what we think helps the other person to participate in our lives, while making them feel valued and trustworthy. Also the couple can help to adopt different points of view or motivate to act in a certain way, overcome problems or simply enrich one's life while helping us to better understand each other, strengthening the relationship.

Making the other feel supported and valued, trustworthy, is essential. However, one aspect must be taken into account: Communicating does not only refer to telling us the good things. The existence of conflicts is normal and even healthy in the couple, since the presence of elements is being communicated that make one of the parties not feel quite well. In fact, many couples end up breaking up because they have not communicated harmful aspects of the relationship in time. Of course, said communication must be carried out with respect for the feelings of the other and trying to put yourself in their place.