Couples with an age difference, are there risks?

That the statement "love knows no age" enjoys a very tempting touch of romanticism, does not mean that it can be partly true and partly misleading. Although neither love nor passion are subject to a person's age, it may influence the relationship in some way.

There are many elements that make up and influence a relationship, and couples with a large age gap may have to face a number of different risks those of other types of couples.

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Is age a barrier to love?

There are many more couples with a great age difference than we usually perceive, since despite the fact that from a certain period of life the age difference goes more unnoticed.

Currently, despite the evolution of beliefs and prejudices, there are still a series of conventions within today's society that tend to judge these couples negatively, especially within their own family or group of friends.

It seems that if this age difference is perceived in couples other than the person, it is better tolerated than if one is touched closely. Good with a son or daughter, a brother or sister or a very close friend or friend.

However, despite these social restrictions, Is the age difference between members of a couple a real problem for their relationship? According to an investigation published by the North American publication The Atlantic those couples with an age difference of 5 years or more were 18% more likely to end up separating.

Despite these data, there are many factors that can influence the correct development, or not, of a relationship, age being only one of them. The social context, shared experiences, education and the values ​​received by both members They will play a very important role when it comes to reinforcing a couple bond with a large age difference.

Therefore, age as a number itself is not as important as the context in which they have been raised and have lived each of the two members, what ideology they have or what values ​​or thoughts they have in certain issues; and these differences can be present in all types of couples, regardless of their age.

Finally, although age is associated with a series of personal characteristics that may be a risk factor for the relationship, a relationship It must be based on many other elements such as sexual complicity, complementary personalities and values ​​and, most importantly, a life project. common.

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Risks in a couple with an age difference

As we have mentioned before, age by itself does not have to be a barrier to maintaining a relationship. However, as in couples with very different cultures, a very different age between both members of the couple can lead to a series of external risk factors that indicate the possibilities of going through some conflict within the relationship.

1. family opposition

It is very common in couples with a large age difference that families and even the closest circle of friends do not look favorably on your bond with a much younger or much older partner.

In these cases, the objective of each one of the members of the couple will be to speak with her relatives, explain the situation and make them change their way of seeing the relationship, in order to normalize the relationship situation. Otherwise, this can become a real source of distress for each one of them, since they will not be able to share time together with both of them and may find themselves in the situation of having to choose between their partner or their family.

2. Differentiated social context

Although this can happen in any type of couple, it is common that if there is a great difference in age the social context of each one is very different and sometimes almost incompatible.

The circles of friends and the type of environments frequented can vary greatly between a 20-year-old person and a 40-year-old, so if you don't make an equitable distribution of the time spent with each other's friends or share hobbies in a balanced way, this It can lead to a long-term conflict within the couple, since one of them may think that they are sacrificing their hobbies or friends.

In the event that this happens, showing a sincere interest in the likes and hobbies of the other, even if they are relatively different from ours, will be an essential attitude to be able to compensate these dissimilarities.

A lively interest in the issues of the other, even when due to one's age those issues "are very far away" in the current vital experience, it will be essential, but without reason. This falls into the self-deception of believing that they can be lived as own issues that can only be lived with emotion when age and circumstances accompany it.

3. Differences in sexual performance or dynamics

Although there are currently hundreds of measures to maintain a satisfying sex life, it is true that sexuality evolves and changes with age.

For example, a man who is much older than his sexual partner may need more time for stimulation and may have a somewhat lower performance, so if this fact is not dealt with in the correct way, it can generate feelings of frustration or anguish in he.

However, adequate rapport and an interest in satisfying the couple sexually will be of great help when it comes to avoiding possible complications. Similarly, with the help of sex therapy, these couples can enjoy an absolutely satisfying sex life.

As we have previously specified, these risk factors are external to the couple, so if they have a strong and healthy relationship and the rest of the elements of the relationship are relatively intact, none of the above factors need be a problem real.

4. Different short term goals

Age is usually associated with different life goals, and sometimes these do not fit together. For example, it is possible that the older person has a greater interest in having children or in establishing the relationship, while the person who is younger tends to live relationships in a more liberal way, without so many restraints. Managing this type of asymmetries is key.

Is it the same in men as in women?

Although generally couples with a large age difference are subjected to the judgment of society or the context that surrounds them, these moral or value judgments will not be the same if the woman is much older than if the man is.

The differences in prejudices between men and women still appear in most areas of daily life, and relationships were not going to be less. As a general rule, unions in which the woman is considerably older than the man tend to generate rejection by society. Whereas if a man of mature age forms a couple with a much younger woman it is more socially acceptable and even a reason for admiration towards him.

This fact can also be a risk factor when it comes to maintaining a relationship, since the pressure that society exerts on A woman can make her think better of it, break or deprive herself of an affective and sexual relationship with a partner much younger than her.