70 questions for teenagers (to get to know each other better)

Adolescence is a stage of change, disruptive for both parents and children. It is not strange that the relationship with our offspring becomes something merely formal, an exchange of few words at the same time. day limited to brief questions and monosyllabic answers: "How was school today?" "Good." "Nothing else?" "No."

It is said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing every day, over and over again, and expecting different results. Why do we ask the same thing every day? They are not going to answer us anything new no matter how much we insist.

If what we want is to maintain a fluid conversation with our children, in which we arouse their interest in the most varied topics, it is best to change the strategy a bit.

Next We are going to see several questions for teenagers perfect to talk about much deeper and more interesting topics and thus break the monotony a bit.

• Related article: "The 3 stages of adolescence"

70 questions for teenagers to connect with them as parents

Next we are going to look at 70 questions for teenagers, with some comments.

1. What do you think is the most embarrassing thing your father or mother has ever done?

A question that not all parents want to ask but it is necessary to know our relationship with our son. It is possible once we did something that our adolescent did not like at all, making him look bad in front of the rest of his classmates. It may also be that it was simply something that amused him.

Whatever it is, this will allow us to work on the sense of the ridiculous with it.

2. How would you describe the way your parents raise?

There are strict parents and more lax parents.. Each one, as long as they do not border on mistreatment or irresponsibility, has their reasons for applying their style of education. However, the way parents educate and how their children perceive it can be very different, and it does not always have to give the expected results.

3. What music groups do you currently listen to?

We will delve into something that in most adolescents is usually very personal, but at the same time they love to talk about it. But, beware! let's not try to play cool and start listening to their music just like that, since they may feel that we are intruding on their tastes, something that can do more harm than good.

We can ask him to play one of his favorite songs, in order to discover what kind of genre he likes, the style...

4. Who would you tell me that he is your best friend?

It's a very good way to get to know our own children since, surprising as it may seem, we don't know most of their friends. She may be embarrassed to introduce it to us, or it may be us that she is embarrassed about.

5. Who is your favorite teacher and which one do you like the worst?

Your preference for one teacher or another may be due to the subject he teaches or the way he teaches it. All adolescents have favorite subjects, and in all of them the figure of the teacher ends up being very loved, while in the less favorite ones the teacher is not so lucky.

6. What series do you like to watch and which one would you recommend?

We all have series that we like, be they love, documentaries, action, etc. Some of them may not be age appropriate, but still okay find out what kind of entertainment you like.

7. Do you think aliens exist?

Of course, this question is really striking and not expected in a normal conversation between father and son but, really, it gives a lot to think about. It may be from science fiction, mystery or simply explaining that the universe is too big for us to be alone, this conversation is certainly not going to be limited to a “No HE". There is a lot of debate on this issue, and it can be a very interesting way to strengthen the parent-child bond.

8. How masculine or feminine do you feel?

This question must be posed very thoughtfully. The concept of masculinity and femininity are social constructs, imposed by culture. The idea of ​​a masculine man and a feminine woman are not a bad thing, but it should be noted that by being a feminine male or a female masculine is not less of a man or less of a woman, an idea that many adolescents have much better established than their parents "boomers".

Whatever our son feels, this is, of course, a conversation that gives rise to much debate. In any family in which you want to raise a happy son or daughter, it is necessary to accept him as he is, understanding that everyone is born as they are and that sexual orientation is not a mental illness or something modifiable.

• You may be interested in: "Gender stereotypes: this is how they reproduce inequality"

9. How would you describe the personality of your father or mother? To what extent do you feel identified?

Personality has a hereditary component, there is no doubt about that. There are many investigations that suggest that this is so. In addition, the fact of having been raised with our parents since childhood means that any component that is not inherited through genes can be inherited by vicarious learning.

Many adolescents, at this hard stage in their lives, seem to want to get away from how their parents are, some "cars very careful”, and they begin to behave in a radically opposite way to how they do, or think they do, their parents. It is here where, as parents we can explain to her how she looks like usHow many of the things he thinks we've never really done were also done to annoy our parents.

10. Is bullying a problem at your school?

This is a raw subject, but it needs to be addressed in every family. Bullying or bullying is a serious problem in our society, responsible for anxiety disorders, depression and suicides.

The victim may feel terribly undervalued not only by her harassers, but also by her closest circle, who have failed to identify the problem. It is for this reason that it is very important to address it at home, and identify if our child is a victim, a witness, or even a "bully." The best way is to understand and give visibility to the problem, identify it and prevent it from going further.

11. What are the first things you remember?

The memory may be very dim, but something from his most tender and early childhood will be remembered. It is an ideal moment to remember beautiful memories, approach them in a more adult way and give them new information about what it was like, so that you know how it has evolved since it came into the world until the turbulent adolescence.

12. What would you change about your parents?

This question is somewhat complex, but surely our son has some complaint about how we behave, even if we do it with the best intention in the world. In this life you can always improve, and, in fact, you should to make our son feel as happy as possible, growing properly.

13. What motivates you the most?

Despite the fact that in the formal exchange of words that usually takes place in the morning or as soon as they arrive from class between the father and the son, it seems Although the adolescent lacks any motivation, the truth is that adolescents, like any other person from any other strip of age, they have a lot of tastes and preferences linked to their way of life.

Whether it's playing the guitar, wanting to be a doctor, going on a trip anywhere, there are many things that our son or daughter would love to do.

These motivations, once discovered by adults, can lead to doing activities together, such as satisfy that trip so desired but that has never been fulfilled or buy him a guitar and that practice. Who knows, maybe we have discovered a hidden talent.

14. What do you think is your ideology?

Although adolescents may seem too young to our eyes, the truth is that in their little heads they already a way of seeing the world and what they understand as an ideal society begins to form, that is, an ideology policy.

It is more or less between the ages of 12 and 14 that the first brushstrokes of what will end up being his thought begin to be drawn. One must be careful, since it is possible that our son or daughter has a vision very contrary to ours, although this is not surprising.

15. Is there something about your body that you don't feel comfortable with?

Human beings are not perfect and, because of the media, we always have some complex. These complexes can be especially hard in adolescence, since it is a time in which we compare ourselves constantly with others, seeing that our chest is small, we don't have many muscles or that we are fat

This is important to address, since in the event that the adolescent has serious problems with her self-esteem we could be in front of a possible psychological problem, which can perfectly evolve into an obsession with thinness or musculature. This can become disorders such as anorexia, bulimia or vigorexia. All bodies, to the extent that they are healthy, are acceptable and beautiful.

16. What do you do and think when you see a homeless person?

Homeless people are not on the streets for nothing. Many have suffered very miserable lives, with physical and mental abuse. Others are on the streets because they are broke and have become addicted to various drugs.

The last thing they need is to be criminalized and treated like trash. Debating this issue can be a great exercise to work on emotional intelligence and empathy.

17. How do you think the world will end?

To entertain yourself and think a little about a future that, hopefully, is very distant. We may be invaded by aliens, the Sun may absorb the Earth, there may be a nuclear war, or simply a virus may wipe out capitalism and thus our civilization. It is true that it is a somewhat disturbing question but it is okay from time to time to talk about bad things, it keeps the conversation alive.

18. What do you envy about your friends' family?

Each family is individual. There are families where a weekly allowance is given while in others the parents stress to their children that they should be grateful for the shelter and food they are given.

The educational methods and the way of pampering adolescents vary from family to family and, of course, this can make you have some envy. It is important to work and understand what our child envy of others.

19. Do you think that those of your generation are really different from how other generations are?

The "millennials" or generation Y, that is, those born between the seventies and the mid-nineties are already adults. Many of us already have children. The current adolescent generation is Z, those born after 1997, also called post-millennials.

Although there are not very notable differences with respect to the millennial, it is true that the Current adolescents have highly digitized behavior patterns compared to the past generation. Instagram, Skype and Twitter are like eating or sleeping for the Z: needs.

These social networks have contributed to changing the way of thinking, which is updated in real time. That is why it is not surprising to find differences in issues such as gender fluidity or exposure to social media.

20. What do you think adults don't understand about teenagers?

"It's that they don't understand me." “They don't know what I'm going through” “Oh, my parents are jerks” and other similar phrases are very frequent in the minds of adolescents. However, what exactly do they mean? What are they complaining about?

The psychology of adolescence is too complex and extensive a subject to be addressed here, but it is clear that adolescents always have something in which they disagree with their parents. Talking about it in a relaxed and calm atmosphere can be interesting, since it can help solve mistaken perceptions or make self-criticism as adults.

21. Would you have liked your parents to have been more demanding or more lax?

We all have some "traumita" or bad memory from our childhood. We may regret that our parents were not demanding enough when we did not want to play sports and, because of it, we are not comfortable with our abilities physical.

Others, on the other hand, may be angry with their parents for being too harsh at the time. of having to study or do homework, depriving us of hours of play with our friends in the park. These are things that would be nice if they came to light in the family.

22. Which would you prefer: €1,000,000 today or 1 cent doubled every day for 30 days?

This question is ideal for teaching the adolescent the concept of interest. Although at first glance, the option of keeping €1,000,000 today may seem more profitable, the truth is that 1 a cent doubled in value every day means that at the end of the month there are €5,368,709.12, a value more than five times superior.

23. Would you rather be the boss or an employee?

Not everyone is comfortable being a boss or being an employee. There are those who prefer to command because they believe they have leadership skills, while there are those who prefer to follow orders, preferring to do rather than have to think about what to do. In this world we cannot all be one or the other, since both roles are necessary. The question is to find what each one is good at doing.

24. If you could have only one superpower, what would it be?

Reading minds is one of the favorite superpowers for teenagers. Not only to find out what the "nerd" in his class is answering on the math test, but also to find out what his "crush" thinks of him or her.

Other equally interesting powers that he can tell us are being transparent or being able to teleport in a dangerous situation. These powers and many others can tell us about how the young person feels, especially if they have to do with wanting to disappear.

25. Could you describe yourself in 5 words or less?

Only five words are enough to describe himself. But, unlike the monosyllabic answers that we have exposed at the beginning, these five words have to be more complex. You must select five words that contain enough information to describe the immensity of your person. A task that will make you rack your brain a lot.

• You may be interested in: "The main theories of personality"

26. If you could give a gift to every person in the world but it could only be the same, what would it be?

This question is difficult. You have to choose a gift that you think is useful for everyone, whether you live in Europe or Africa, whether you are a child or a 90-year-old.

27. Imagine that you are the president and you need to choose three people to help you: who would they be and why?

Depending on the historical moment in which you have lived, it may be that you choose one or the other professionals, both related to the world of politics and not. You may give more importance to the Minister of Health or a scientific expert while living in a pandemic, or you may consider that culture is essential and let yourself be advised by philologists and artists.

28. If you could set a single rule for the whole family that should be followed, what would it be?

It may be not to shout, to listen to everyone equally, not to smoke... The question that is posed with this question has the objective of work emotional intelligence, both to recognize situations that he dislikes and that occur in his family and to be empathetic with his parents and siblings.

29. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Regardless of how satisfied you are with living where you happen to live, everyone wants to travel to new places, to let off steam from the monotony of their birthplace. Paris, Tokyo, New York, Patagonia... and many more can be dream places for any teenager.

30. What do you think is what makes teenagers become adults?

This question can be truly revealing. Although the age of majority is established at 18 years, not all are equally adults at that age. There are people who mentally were already like adults at 14 years old while others we could say that at 22 years old they behave as if they were still going to school. Mental maturity is a psychological phenomenon that depends on many factors, factors which can influence very differently from person to person.

31. What have you learned in your life that you consider will be the most useful to you?

Whether at school, at home or simply being with friends, there are many things that adolescents may consider useful for life, either for when you work or when you have started a family if so want.

32. How would you describe a perfect day from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed?

Each person has an idea of ​​what a perfect day is. From getting up and having some good toast, walking the dog, watching your favorite TV show, showering before bed...

33. If you could change anything in the world, what three things would it be and why?

It may be that he wants there to be no borders or that high school ends and they teach us the things that each one deems appropriate. There are a lot of options.

34. What do you think is better: being very good at one skill or being mediocre but having many?

The eternal debate between standing out in just one thing and having many more or less developed skills. You may tell us that you'd like to be really good at mental math because you want to be an engineer, but what's the point of being good at math and being a complete disaster in personal relationships? Depending on your life goals, we may have to emphasize that it is very important to be versatile.

35. What is the best invention that has been created recently and what do you like about it?

Although there does not necessarily have to be a great generational gap between parents and children, there is always something technological that is difficult for adults. Today's teenagers are experts in new technologies, since they are digital natives. They find out everything with just one click.

If we ask them about what they are naturally experts in, they can give us a real class. masterful of the benefits of the most innovative mobile applications and, of course, in this topic they are going to extend. Adults can learn a lot from them.

36. What do you think it is that makes our family amazing?

Each family is special, in its own way. Life is not always rosy but surely there is more than one thing that has made this family incredible. It is possible that each member lives it differently, and the adolescent, of course, will also have his own vision of it. Of course this question will allow you to be more aware of his family history.

37. What three things are you grateful for in your life and why?

Having a supportive family, not going hungry, not having lived through a war… all these things are things you can be grateful for.

38. What 3 small victories have you achieved these last days that you feel proud of?

This question is ideal to increase the adolescent's self-esteem, since, no matter how small the victories they have achieved in recent days, they are still their own merits. With this you can be aware that as long as progress is made, we will win.

39. What hobby that you do not do or have not learned would you like to learn? What is stopping you from getting started?

We have all wanted to learn to do many things, but given how short our lives are and because the resources are what they are, we have not always been able to do everything we wanted. But, although it is never too late, it is always good for the youngest to do what they would like to do.

They may not always have facilities, and there may be obstacles along the way, but once they are identified, it is we, the older ones, who can help them achieve their goal.

40. What do you think are the best things to live for to have a great life?

Having children, getting married, getting a degree, traveling to an exotic place... the options you can tell us are endless.

41. If we lost everything we've achieved so far but could keep three things, what three things would you rather be?

Things are still material goods that can be obtained again in the store. However, the emotional value we attribute to it is irretrievable. There are many things that the adolescent can feel attached to, but making them decide between three can be a very interesting exercise to learn priorities. He may decide between things that are of great value to him, or he may be realistic and decide to save food or survival goods.

42. Imagine that you are the teacher of your institute. What three things would you like to see taught that you think would make high school a much more useful place for your future?

The academic curriculum is what it is and it often happens that adolescents do not feel very inspired by what they have to teach. For this reason, a very good option is to ask them what they would like to see taught in class. This question is especially useful for teachers, since they can do didactic planning based on what their students tell them, always being realistic.

43. When someone is feeling stressed, what three tips would you share with them to make them feel less stressed?

An adolescent is not a psychologist but, like any person, You may have developed strategies that help you deal with stress. These same strategies can be useful to others, and you may be doing your acquaintances a great favor by sharing them. Likewise, it should be noted when asking this question that psychologists already play a great role when it comes to addressing anxiety problems.

44. What do you think is the most difficult job in the world and why?

Difficult question for a teenager who has not yet had contact with the world of work, but certainly very revealing about how he sees the world of work. It is even possible that we get to know where you would like to go. It may be that you find manual work very difficult and prefer to pursue something more intellectual, or you may like to be an artist and do not want to study medicine as we would have liked.

45. When you wake up each morning, if you could think of three things that would make you truly happy, what three things would they be and why?

Small daily actions can make us truly happy at the end of the day. Many of us, when we get up, think, for example, that we are going to eat spaghetti at noon and that makes us happy. Others of us think that we are going to see our best friend in class, or that we are going to coincide with the one we secretly love in the split in the biology laboratory. There are many things that fill our souls, no matter how small they may be.

46. How would you explain the word "love" to someone without using the word "love"?

Love is a magical feeling and, whether as a couple or in a parent-child relationship, we have all experienced it at some point in our lives. Trying to define it, in your own words, is a truly exciting exercise in creativity and imagination, both figuratively and literally. What is love? It is feeling butterflies in the stomach, warmth in the heart, feeling how you melt... there are many things, what will our son say he feels?

47. Do you think money helps buy happiness?

Money does not bring happiness, but it can certainly help. There are many things that money can buy, however, what can make us happy? The material itself or the experiences we live? This question can give rise to an interesting way of seeing life, understanding what happiness is for our son or daughter.

48. Think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you in your entire life. What did you learn about it?

Remembering sometimes hurts, but it serves to learn from what we would not have liked to happen. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

49. Of all the things you are learning, both in school and in life, what do you think will be the most useful for you as an adult?

Without questioning the educational curriculum, there are many things that really do not have a practical use in the lives of most students.

It is for this reason that there are not a few adolescents who, when they arrive at class, feel unmotivated. On the other hand, there is a lot of knowledge that they can think will be useful, especially if it is related to what they would like to end up being in the future.

50. If you could travel three years back in time, what advice would you give yourself?

We all would like to change many things in our lives, and adolescents are no exception. It may be that he regrets having chosen the institute in which he studies, or that he would have preferred not to have told that girl or boy that he liked him and that they gave him pumpkins. It is important not to be too intrusive with this issue, since we may get him to close in on himself more.

51. Which of your friends do you think is the best and worst for me?

It is important not to suggest that we don't like any of their friends, because at this age they are more likely to side with their friend than ours, and even do so as an act of rebellion.

52. If you could become famous, what would you want to be famous for?

Being famous is something that many teenagers want to be, but it is not the same to be famous for having a great ability as an actor or singer than to be one for having been a content creator on the networks social. There are many ways to become famous and, at the same time, many associated risks. Not all fame is achieved with effort, nor is it good.

53. How would you change the world if you could?

A teenager is much more aware of how raw the world is. There are many things you can wish to see changed, such as hunger, social injustice, or homophobia. Of course, this question can give rise to a lot of debate, and make father and son share opinions, as well as teach him how this world works.

54. How can you help someone today?

Without having to study, simply by having both hands available and the willingness to help, human beings, no matter how young, can work true miracles.

55. If you could make a single rule that everyone on the planet had to obey, what would it be?

It is possible that he will say a rule that, although simple and obvious, the truth is that no one in this world seems to respect, such as not killing, not making war, not raping...

56. If you had enough money to never have to work, what would you do in your free time?

He may surprise us and tell us that he wants to work, because more than doing it to earn money, he wants to do it because it is a job that he really likes and it helps him to help others. Or it is even possible that he says that he will never want to stop learning, and that he will continue to study at university or take language courses.

57. Have you turned down opportunities that you now regret letting go of?

There are trains that pass only once, and although still young, the teenager may have missed more than one. It should be clear that the intent of this question should not be to encourage guilt and regret for missing an opportunity, but to look back on what you learned from missing an opportunity.

58. If they told you that you were going to live forever, what would you change about your life?

Human beings have an expiration date. We do not know when we will die, but we do know that we cannot live forever. This is why we always think about future plans that we will make before we die and there are many people who they live in a hectic way making sure they get to do everything they want before their inevitable end.

But what if we could live forever? Would we live calmer? Would we dare to do things that take much longer? It is a very interesting question to ask our adolescent.

59. What scares you the most?

From the fear that the parents will divorce to that the rest of the classmates will not accept them, going on to not being able to get the necessary grade to be accepted in the career they would like to study. There are many things that a young person can fear. As parents, it is important to identify them, to know if they can be relativized. For example, the fear that your parents will divorce may be unfounded, based on a simple marital quarrel.

60. What do you think is preventing you from being completely happy?

Happiness is a state in which we would all like to be, however, it is not permanent or easy to achieve. There are many things that can prevent us from being happy, whether it comes from the family or from our social environment.. It may be that the parents' arguments are what bothers the teenager and makes him feel sad at times, or it may be that he is having trouble understanding a subject.

Knowing why the young man cannot achieve happiness is something very important for his parents, especially if they can do something to change this situation.

61. What is your greatest strength and your greatest weakness?

People are not perfect. We have strengths and weaknesses and by knowing them, we have a deeper understanding of ourselves. It is very important that in adolescence the boy or girl is aware of what he is good at and what he has problems with. Knowing what he is good at can help him perfect it and take advantage of it, focusing on his future. A good way to find out is by using a personal SWOT matrix.

62. What is the greatest success you have achieved that you are proud of and why?

You don't have to have done something truly transformational and momentous to feel proud. A teenager can be proud of having good grades in high school, but they can also be satisfied for having read all the Harry Potter books, have captured the original 151 Pokémon or managed to do the entire Cooper test in class gym... Whatever our teenager is proud of, we must listen to it and value it.

63. What have you done in the last 24 hours that makes someone else's life better?

This question is truly philosophical. There are many daily actions that, although small, can be something truly momentous for the lives of other people.

From having greeted the cleaning lady of the institute, going through having talked a little with an old woman who was waiting for the bus at the stop. These little acts, which can happen every day, are sometimes little joys for people who really shouldn't influence us.

64. How do you think you will be as a couple?

Although in adolescence it is normal to be too young to have a partner, there are not a few early adolescents who have even had sexual encounters. Having a partner is not something easy to think about, much less being a young person who has not exceeded the age of majority. Likewise, getting an idea of ​​what the ideal boyfriend or girlfriend should be like can allow you to work, a priori, on love relationships.

65. What has had the greatest impact on your life?

There are many experiences that a person may have lived even if they have not yet turned eighteen. There may be many events, both at home and at school, that may have marked them, either positively or negatively. talk about it can be a great release for the adolescent, in addition to allowing their father or mother to learn more about their child's life history.

66. What do you do at night when you can't sleep at night?

Many teens have trouble falling asleep, especially if they are worried about their studies or how they are being treated in class. This question is ideal for finding out if they suffer from insomnia, camouflaging it as an interest in knowing what they think about when they can't sleep.

67. If human beings grow from learning from our mistakes, why are we afraid of failing?

This is a good way to treat fear of failure and turn it into curiosity about success. It is important to highlight the idea that the one who fails is not the one who tries, but the one who already gives up before even trying it.

68. What product would you like to store in case you found out that it is no longer going to be produced or sold?

Many times companies sell limited edition products. Other times something that has been part of our childhood is no longer manufactured, for an unknown reason (p. g., Jungly chocolate). This is something relatively banal, but its ceasing to exist can cause us, to some extent, a psychological shock. Ask the adolescent what is part of her current life that she would like to keep in industrial quantities if you find out that they are not going to manufacture it anymore is a very good way of know him.

69. Do you have a bad habit that you would like to stop doing? Which are?

Smoking, drinking on the sly, consuming marijuana, going overboard with the cell phone... are habits that no parent would want that your son would have developed, but it is better to meet him when there is still time to work on he. It is very important not to approach it dramatically.nor punish him for it. The best way to correct those problems is to find out who got you into this.

70. If you did not have any physical, economic or psychological obstacles, what skill would you like to develop?

Here you can answer us anything. Going from driving a Ferrari in Italy to learning to hang glider or learning all the decimals of the number Pi. This question leaves full freedom to the imagination.