My girlfriend left me: 5 tips to get over the breakup

My girlfriend left me, what can I do to feel good again? My boyfriend has broken up with our relationship, how can I get over it? These are typical concerns in the face of unilateral breakups, and the truth is that it is relatively normal for many people to become obsessed with this kind of problem for a while. The end of the idyll is usually painful, and if it has also occurred from a unilateral decision, it is usually more so.

However, no time of sadness and emotional crisis has to last indefinitely, and no matter how bad we are, there is a lot we can do to feel better and get over that hard blow. Another person may have decided to end something shared, but regarding our psychological well-being, all the legitimacy to change for the better and feel good lies with oneself.

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Tips to follow if your boyfriend or girlfriend has left you

It is true that about love there are no great natural laws that are fulfilled in 100% of cases, but

Most often, unilateral couple breakups are very painful.. In these cases, we must try not to get stuck in that stage of crisis, so that sadness does not always stay there, preventing us from living life normally. Below you will find several useful tips if your girlfriend has left you and you feel very upset.

1. Take time to absorb it

There are people who believe that they will get over the breakup better if they make it look like it hasn't happened, which leads them to try to do exactly the same thing they've always been doing, as if they had not been affected by what happened. This is a mistake. If you live with the obsession of “my girlfriend has left me”, “my boyfriend won't come back”, or the like, there is no point in imposing such an artificial facade on yourself.

For this reason, it is necessary to dedicate at least a few minutes a day to face the breakup and accept its existence. Yes, this is somewhat painful, and it is very possible that you will go through moments of crying. However, at least in the early phases of the process of getting over the breakup, it is good to expose yourself to this.

2. Understand that you are looking for a long-term goal

Leaving your comfort zone is essential, and this implies accepting that you will have to go through uncomfortable moments for a Higher Good: Get back on track in the coming weeks and months, and not allow your discomfort and sadness to chronify.

On the other hand, understanding that what you do in the present must enter into the logic of that improvement process in the medium or long term means that one's mental health comes first, and for this reason the relationship with the ex-partner must be subject to what in each case we believe is most useful for us. There should be no feelings of guilt for wanting not to have contact with him or her.

3. Examine your guilty beliefs

When someone is left by their partner, it is very common for them to start having feelings of guilt, even if they appear from totally irrational beliefs. This causes intrusive thoughts to appear referring to those situations that, according to oneself, have caused the boyfriend or girlfriend to end the relationship.

It is true that possibly a good part of what has led the other person to break up with us has to do with things we have done, but two things must be kept in mind.

First of all, not everything that leads to the breakup and has been the product of our actions is something to be ashamed of or apologize for. For example, incompatibilities in terms of priorities or personality They cannot be the fault of either one of the parties or the other. There is no one type of person that we should be like to maintain the good health of the relationship.

Secondly, even in what can be considered morally wrong and that has saddened or angered the ex-partner, It can serve as a lesson to improve in the future.. You have no power over the past, but you do have power over the present and the future. Making that experience serve to learn is the best way to progress and ensure that self-esteem does not suffer indefinitely from what has happened.

4. Look for irrational beliefs

With events as important as the breakup, it is very easy for them to sneak in without us realizing it. our belief system various totally irrational ideas about who we are and what we have made. Normally these ideas are very pessimistic or have a bias that leads us to focus all our attention on what we perceive as our own weaknesses. That's why, it is necessary to reflect and gradually uncover those baseless beliefs.

5. Don't be afraid to go to therapy

In some cases, one's own effort is not enough to assimilate the breakup and live again without being permanently installed in sadness. In this case, what you can do for yourself is reject the idea that if you go to psychotherapy for the psychological support that it can provide you, that will be a sign of weakness. It's completely understandable that if someone we love leaves us, we have a hard time getting back on track; After all, it is a grieving process.

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