How does life change after fatherhood and motherhood?

Being a father or mother is a very special event that cannot be compared to any other life experience. However, not all the changes brought about by this new reality are positive.

Regardless of each particular situation, there are patterns of change that can negatively alter our daily lives and our personal and social relationships.

On the other hand, there are also other favorable changes that can help us grow as people and improve not only our relationships with our environment, but also with ourselves.

Next, We will analyze in detail what are these changes, both positive and negative, that the arrival of a baby entails.

What are the most important life changes that maternity and paternity entail?

Like most of life's circumstances, the arrival of a son/daughter is not a radical fact that can be seen through patterns of black or white. It is rather a process in which moments of emotional and physical well-being alternate with others that are much more exhausting and that can cause alterations in our psyche. Depending on each person, these moments will be more or less long in time and will have a greater or lesser impact on their personal situation.

In addition, and like everything that has to do with emotions, the same situation can generate positive and negative reactions at the same time. We must be clear that all this is normal and that it is a natural part of the process. Only in serious situations will professional help be required.

Let's take a look at some of the most important changes that motherhood and fatherhood bring.

1. The couple's relationship changes significantly (and it doesn't have to be for the worse)

Caring for a newborn involves investing a large part of our time. This decreases the chances of being alone with our partner. and it makes it practically impossible to recover the activities we did together before the arrival of the baby. On the one hand, these changes can have an unfavorable influence on the relationship, since we can end up feeling nostalgic for the life that "we have lost".

However, maternity and paternity as a couple can also be a perfect opportunity to share unique moments with our partner or partner, related to the upbringing of the child In this sense, the relationship can be strengthened by the existence of a new source of illusion. Besides, shared tasks can strengthen the bond.

• Related article: "The 5 types of couples therapy"

2. Facilitates our self-awareness

The arrival of a baby and the responsibilities that this entails can be beneficial for our self-esteem, since we We see ourselves in the obligation to learn things that we did not need to know before, and this is a great source of satisfaction and fulfillment staff. Although it may seem silly, the fact of seeing that we have managed to do something as simple as changing a diaper (if we had never done it before) reinforces the perception of ourselves and encourages us to continue learning.

3. Strengthen our personal ties

Of course, the bond of love that is created between us and our child is highly beneficial for our emotional well-being. On the other hand, we have already commented in the first point how it can help to strengthen the couple's relationship, in the event that maternity/paternity is lived with a partner. But it is that, in addition, the process it can also strengthen the bond with our own parentsas we better understand what they had to go through to raise us.

• You may be interested in: "9 habits to connect emotionally with someone"

4. can generate anxiety

This factor cannot be left aside, since, poorly managed, it is a tedious obstacle to fully enjoying our maternity or paternity.

It is inevitable that, in the parenting process, anxious moments arise, such as the arrangement of the home perfectly so that the child feels comfortable and is safe, that she can get to generate a situation of hypervigilance. On the other hand, the arrival of a baby generates a large amount of expenses and requires a replanning of our economy, which can generate anxiety due to the fear of not making ends meet or having to give up things that we like but can no longer let us.

4. May cause tiredness and irritability

Lack of sleep, derived from the baby's nocturnal needs, can generate a state of irritability and nervousness that makes our day to day difficult, especially if we have to work. Our body and our mind suffer from the decrease in rest and this can lead to emotional alterations.

• Related article: "Mood swings: what they are, and 9 tips to control them"

5. Can trigger postpartum depression

The postpartum depression It is a disorder that affects 10-15% of women and usually appears within six months after delivery. The symptoms are similar to those of clinical depression, although less intense: sudden and unexplained crying apparent anxiety, avoidance of social contact and feelings of hopelessness and demotivation, among others.

Currently, the exact causes of the appearance of this disorder are still being studied, a phenomenon that may be linked to sudden changes in the secretion of certain hormones after childbirth. In any case, if you notice that you begin to suffer from these symptoms, it is important that you seek professional help.

Looking for psychotherapy services?

If you are interested in having psychotherapeutic assistance, please contact me.

My name is Blanca Ruiz Muzquiz and I am a psychologist with experience in caring for individual patients, couples and families; I can help you through online therapy sessions by video call wherever you are.